Myself and my girlfriend are going to the same university together Watch

Anonymous #1
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Heya. I wouldn't normally make posts such as this one because I'm confident in both myself and my relationship, as well as my gf.

Though I think sometimes it's a good idea to have an open mind and seek some information anonymously from other peoples' perspectives and experiences.


So, this is it: My girlfriend applied to university in December and got accepted in January. I applied on January 15th (literally a minute before the deadline I submitted my application lol, because we were locked out for a hot minute) - anyway, I was worried I wouldn't get in.

Yesterday I went on my gmail to find out I got a conditional offer on the 5th of Feb!

We'd both be studying a four year course, so a regular one with a foundation year.

Naturally we're both excited that we get to go to university together in such a lovely location - though one thing we differ in:

She would like the roommate experience, whilst I like this idea, as a couple I always thought we should familiarize ourselves with the idea of living together in a new location by ourselves first.

I also dunno if I'd be comfortable living with another few dudes and/or girls cos I'm an indoorsy PC gamer dude lmao. So I'd spend my time with either my gf or exploring, or playing catch up with my friends from London and Buckinghamshire through PC gaming.

Now apparently the prices in accommodation differ severely if you choose to just live with your partner in a flat on campus, rather than shared accommodation.


What do you guys think? We've been together since November 2016.
Should we live together with flatmates or familiarize ourselves by living just us for the zeroth year? (technically our first year but we're doing foundation so yeah).

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xoxAngel_Kxox
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It's entirely up to you, but I have always though the uni experience was something special, and if you live with a partner, you won't get that. Also, if you break up, it makes things very difficult - particularly if there are other flatmates to think about. If you're on the same uni you can get accommodation close by, which I think would still be good, and you can meet up as much or as little as you want, and sleep over in each other's rooms if you wish.

I would try not to spend too much time gaming, as it's important to get to know people, and the first year is particularly key for that. But, that's also your choice.

Regarding spending the first year living together and then living apart, I find that weird. Usually, when couples move into together they do so with "forever" in mind. I know it's slightly different as it's uni, but it will be weird to be apart again after living together for so long. If anything, you would be better doing it the other way round, and see how living apart works for you.

You've been together for two years, which I think is promising for a teen relationship (not trying to be patronising here) so living together may work fine, but I still believe that uni is something that is best experienced alone first - and you won't be "alone" anyway, as she will be on the same campus! .
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tashkent46
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I did it. Don't do it. Terrible idea, even if you think you know someone uni can completely change them.
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by xoxAngel_Kxox)
It's entirely up to you, but I have always though the uni experience was something special, and if you live with a partner, you won't get that. Also, if you break up, it makes things very difficult - particularly if there are other flatmates to think about. If you're on the same uni you can get accommodation close by, which I think would still be good, and you can meet up as much or as little as you want, and sleep over in each other's rooms if you wish.

I would try not to spend too much time gaming, as it's important to get to know people, and the first year is particularly key for that. But, that's also your choice.

Regarding spending the first year living together and then living apart, I find that weird. Usually, when couples move into together they do so with "forever" in mind. I know it's slightly different as it's uni, but it will be weird to be apart again after living together for so long. If anything, you would be better doing it the other way round, and see how living apart works for you.

You've been together for two years, which I think is promising for a teen relationship (not trying to be patronising here) so living together may work fine, but I still believe that uni is something that is best experienced alone first - and you won't be "alone" anyway, as she will be on the same campus! .
I appreciate the reply guys, also I wanted to pin point a few things.

I'm turning 21 tomorrow and she turns 19 in April, we've been together since I was 18 and she was 16. I moved in with her family in Feb 2017 as I had problems living with my own family, it was never meant to be me staying with her family this long, but as I'm going to university for four years and I love her ever so dearly, I don't want to make a stupid move.

That's why I'm unsure if the prices of accomodation in university differ THAT much between living with flatmates and just living with each other (myself and her).

I am also unsure if the best thing is in fact to live opposite each other with our own flatmates or her live with flatmates and me live on my own.
It's all a gamble really, I wasn't even expecting to get accepted in the first place. x)
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B1GRooster
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Personally I would avoid living together in university. You do not know if the relationship is going to last once you get to university, also going into accomidation gives you the oppurtuntiy to meet more people and make new friends. Imagine if things didnt work out and you had to live with that person for the rest of the year
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tashkent46
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(Original post by B1GRooster)
Personally I would avoid living together in university. You do not know if the relationship is going to last once you get to university, also going into accomidation gives you the oppurtuntiy to meet more people and make new friends. Imagine if things didnt work out and you had to live with that person for the rest of the year
It is worse not living with them trust me - I will never advise people to go to university together so long as I breathe.
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B1GRooster
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I agree, just go to different universities ideally. But if you are going together, live apart. I just think imagine breaking up and having to find new accomidation mid way through a term
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tashkent46
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(Original post by B1GRooster)
I agree, just go to different universities ideally. But if you are going together, live apart. I just think imagine breaking up and having to find new accomidation mid way through a term
I was in said position and the thought of the other person living so close yet so far away is far worse. I'd rather be able to keep tabs on an ex than just being completely in the dark and hearing and seeing things at some point. I lived in seperate accommodation and it was worse for my health.
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Notoriety
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my girlfriend and I*

don't just add reflexive pronouns 4 a laff
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xoxAngel_Kxox
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(Original post by tashkent46)
I was in said position and the thought of the other person living so close yet so far away is far worse. I'd rather be able to keep tabs on an ex than just being completely in the dark and hearing and seeing things at some point. I lived in seperate accommodation and it was worse for my health.
No, you don't to keep tabs on an ex, ever. Doing so will only wind you up. Once they are an ex, they are nothing to do with you, and they can do whatever they like with whoever they like. It is painful to see that though, so keeping tabs is never healthy.
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tashkent46
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(Original post by xoxAngel_Kxox)
No, you don't to keep tabs on an ex, ever. Doing so will only wind you up. Once they are an ex, they are nothing to do with you, and they can do whatever they like with whoever they like. It is painful to see that though, so keeping tabs is never healthy.
Not my experience. If you know what's actually going on it's better that's why you should try keep in touch and be civil.
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xoxAngel_Kxox
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(Original post by tashkent46)
Not my experience. If you know what's actually going on it's better that's why you should try keep in touch and be civil.
You can be friends and be civil if you want, but saying you need to live with them to "keep tabs on them" that sounds a bit psycho/bunny boiler to me. If you're not with them, you don't need to know what they're doing all the time. You don't act like that with your other friends, do you?
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batter mix
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(Original post by Notoriety)
my girlfriend and I*

don't just add reflexive pronouns 4 a laff
came here to post this but you beat me to it:hat2:
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bones-mccoy
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If you can afford it, I'd say living on campus in separate flats would be the best option
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by bones-mccoy)
If you can afford it, I'd say living on campus in separate flats would be the best option
Cheers, half of this thread ended up being people talking about exes and the other half was about correcting me.
Anyway, I'd like to elaborate on everyone that she isn't my ex. I dunno why you guys keep living in that reality where she and I are going to break up.

My main desire through this thread is to get peoples' experiences who've gone through this.
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blacksheep8
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At my uni there have been quite a few newly built accodmation buildings. Most of them have on-suite rooms (your own bathroom) in flats (ours were 10 person flats, but most people usually have around 5 people), and then studio flats (your own kitchen and bathroom). Most newly built places have double beds, but older accommodations might just have single beds. Living on campus is often really expensive, especially in newly builds. Studio flats are more expensive than on-suite rooms in flats.

There are different types of accommodation too, like girls only, accommodation that serves meals, accommodation where you share bathrooms. Perhaps some unis have more or less choice than mine, but these were choices available at ours.

I personally lived in an on-suite as I disliked the idea of sharing bathrooms with others. I lived with 9 other people in a flat which was a bit hellish if I'm honest, because I didn't get on very well with the girls in the flat, didn't know how to cook, the kitchen was often dirty or in use, and wasn't really a comforting place. Our building was the newest on the block in that year and I really didn't like it. The walls felt like they were made from cardboard, there was damp, leaks, the room was very plastic-y, I had a puddle of water in the corner of my room in the winter at one point because of a leak. I paid so much money to live there too, it was totally unreasonable. I made friends with some people in the flat though, which was good because I was completely alone coming to the uni. We had someone who played games really loudly and people *****ed about him a bit, and I must admit it was really annoying sometimes because he could be very noisy. Just adding that in there as I know you have mentioned that you're a gamer, so that might be useful knowledge. If you're quiet and considerate you will be fine though.

People are different, I'm not sure what you and your gf are like, but if I could go back and meet my partner without having met the people I made friends with in the first year (in flat and course) I'd go back and just have lived the entire time with my partner, separate from other people. There was so much unnecessary drama, and loads of tears shed, and stress over people who didn't deserve it. I think this happens to a lot of people at uni as I've heard this from some other friends/ acquaintances at uni, and I've read a lot of stories by people at uni online who have said similar things. Some people really want to experience this regardless and maybe your gf is one of them, so I think you guys need to talk it out in more detail. What does she actually want from uni, in all honesty. And what do you want too? If she really wants to try living on her own with flatmates then perhaps she could do that, then you guys need to decide whether you want to live in the same flat or not. This is another thing you need to talk about because there is a possibility that other people will be nasty, sneaky, etc. Sorry to lean negative, it's just in my experience there are more people than not who have qualities about them that can harm you.

I would personally say to live together, find yourselves a two person flat that's asking for reasonable rent, off campus but near enough that you can walk it or take the uni bus, if you have one.
Last edited by blacksheep8; 1 month ago
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Anonymous #2
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I really hate how much doubt youre giving to this guys relationship, hes asking for advice on where he should live.. not about if he should break up or not. You're literally putting doubt and loss of faith in this mans mind about his successful relationship. Just give him the answer to his question not advice him to break up and fill him with doubt. Smh.
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by Anonymous)
I really hate how much doubt youre giving to this guys relationship, hes asking for advice on where he should live.. not about if he should break up or not. You're literally putting doubt and loss of faith in this mans mind about his successful relationship. Just give him the answer to his question not advice him to break up and fill him with doubt. Smh.
Thank you.

(Original post by blacksheep8)
At my uni there have been quite a few newly built accodmation buildings. Most of them have on-suite rooms (your own bathroom) in flats (ours were 10 person flats, but most people usually have around 5 people), and then studio flats (your own kitchen and bathroom). Most newly built places have double beds, but older accommodations might just have single beds. Living on campus is often really expensive, especially in newly builds. Studio flats are more expensive than on-suite rooms in flats.

There are different types of accommodation too, like girls only, accommodation that serves meals, accommodation where you share bathrooms. Perhaps some unis have more or less choice than mine, but these were choices available at ours.

I personally lived in an on-suite as I disliked the idea of sharing bathrooms with others. I lived with 9 other people in a flat which was a bit hellish if I'm honest, because I didn't get on very well with the girls in the flat, didn't know how to cook, the kitchen was often dirty or in use, and wasn't really a comforting place. Our building was the newest on the block in that year and I really didn't like it. The walls felt like they were made from cardboard, there was damp, leaks, the room was very plastic-y, I had a puddle of water in the corner of my room in the winter at one point because of a leak. I paid so much money to live there too, it was totally unreasonable. I made friends with some people in the flat though, which was good because I was completely alone coming to the uni. We had someone who played games really loudly and people *****ed about him a bit, and I must admit it was really annoying sometimes because he could be very noisy. Just adding that in there as I know you have mentioned that you're a gamer, so that might be useful knowledge. If you're quiet and considerate you will be fine though.

People are different, I'm not sure what you and your gf are like, but if I could go back and meet my partner without having met the people I made friends with in the first year (in flat and course) I'd go back and just have lived the entire time with my partner, separate from other people. There was so much unnecessary drama, and loads of tears shed, and stress over people who didn't deserve it. I think this happens to a lot of people at uni as I've heard this from some other friends/ acquaintances at uni, and I've read a lot of stories by people at uni online who have said similar things. Some people really want to experience this regardless and maybe your gf is one of them, so I think you guys need to talk it out in more detail. What does she actually want from uni, in all honesty. And what do you want too? If she really wants to try living on her own with flatmates then perhaps she could do that, then you guys need to decide whether you want to live in the same flat or not. This is another thing you need to talk about because there is a possibility that other people will be nasty, sneaky, etc. Sorry to lean negative, it's just in my experience there are more people than not who have qualities about them that can harm you.

I would personally say to live together, find yourselves a two person flat that's asking for reasonable rent, off campus but near enough that you can walk it or take the uni bus, if you have one.
We're not financially capable of sharing a two bedroom flat outside of campus, and I know she wants the "full university experience" so to speak, which means flatmates but I know when the time comes she might change her mind and want to live with just me and meet people through lectures and projects etc. Either way it's gonna be:
- We live together on campus in a two bedroom place
- We live together with flatmates
- We live practically in the same complex but in separate places with our own flatmates (this is the less likely option but I put it out there just for the sake of it)
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blacksheep8
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(Original post by Anonymous)
Thank you.


We're not financially capable of sharing a two bedroom flat outside of campus, and I know she wants the "full university experience" so to speak, which means flatmates but I know when the time comes she might change her mind and want to live with just me and meet people through lectures and projects etc. Either way it's gonna be:
- We live together on campus in a two bedroom place
- We live together with flatmates
- We live practically in the same complex but in separate places with our own flatmates (this is the less likely option but I put it out there just for the sake of it)
Hmm, maybe you're in a different situation to me due to location or availability of cheaper campus accomodation. I just know that living with my partner now in a two bed place off campus is miles cheaper than living on campus with other first years. It's also slightly cheaper than living with a group of people off campus last year. Good luck I guess the only thing you guys can really do is talk about it and make sure you come to some compromises so that you're both happy with the result.
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