Had sex with ex while in relationship Watch

Anonymous #1
#1
Report Thread starter 7 months ago
#1
Call me every name under the sun you can think of and i'll agree with it. I'm embarrassed. Lost the little respect I had for myself. It doesn't deserve to be skipped over but I sort of have to get to the main point of posting.

As the title says. Got very drunk, ended up in a bed with my ex who wouldn't leave me alone all night. And one thing led to another. Would never do it sober - doing stuff with her is not a desire, and not something I want. Not that it's an excuse - none of this is.

Obviously and rightly so I feel like a t***. I was going to break up with my girlfriend regardless of this happening. And since then (few nights ago), I have told her that I don't see me and her working (for other reasons). My question is, is there any point in telling her this or would it just make it worse.

She would not take it well - who would? I've gone and done this with my ex whilst she's been staying loyal and I end up breaking up with her. Like I said, embarrassed of myself and will be for a while, but I could just do with a few peoples opinions about whether or not to tell her or not. Of course people want to know the truth but if it's only going to make it worse should I?

If you reply to this, reply to it for her sake, and not mine, because I personally would not want to be helping someone like me out after this.
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Lilli22
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#2
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#2
Shouldn't you be telling her this instead of us?
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sinfonietta
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#3
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Tell her.

In addition to telling the truth being the right thing to do it will also help her get over you a hell of a lot faster.
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Anonymous #2
#4
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(Original post by Anonymous)
Call me every name under the sun you can think of and i'll agree with it. I'm embarrassed. Lost the little respect I had for myself. It doesn't deserve to be skipped over but I sort of have to get to the main point of posting.

As the title says. Got very drunk, ended up in a bed with my ex who wouldn't leave me alone all night. And one thing led to another. Would never do it sober - doing stuff with her is not a desire, and not something I want. Not that it's an excuse - none of this is.

Obviously and rightly so I feel like a t***. I was going to break up with my girlfriend regardless of this happening. And since then (few nights ago), I have told her that I don't see me and her working (for other reasons). My question is, is there any point in telling her this or would it just make it worse.

She would not take it well - who would? I've gone and done this with my ex whilst she's been staying loyal and I end up breaking up with her. Like I said, embarrassed of myself and will be for a while, but I could just do with a few peoples opinions about whether or not to tell her or not. Of course people want to know the truth but if it's only going to make it worse should I?

If you reply to this, reply to it for her sake, and not mine, because I personally would not want to be helping someone like me out after this.
In my opinion I really think you should tell her. Yes, you did wrong but don't beat yourself up on it. You need to learn from your mistake and never repeat it. If you tell her a lie and cover the truth up, it will only unravel overtime (that's what I personally think) If you're friends with your girlfriend (your current ex) I still suggest you do so. She has the right to know what you did even though you broke up. It may give you closure from the situation. She won't take it well, no girl will. It might be awkward if you and her on a friendship base level. At the end of the day it's up to you what you do. You should be telling her this. If she decides not to believe you then you know that she must not trust you. Always put your hand up and own up to your mistakes. The truth will hurt but not as much when you lie. I hope this helped. I'm only giving you advice and I'm not telling wgat to do.
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Anonymous #1
#5
Report Thread starter 7 months ago
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(Original post by sinfonietta)
Tell her.

In addition to telling the truth being the right thing to do it will also help her get over you a hell of a lot faster.
You're right, it's a long distance relationship so I asked to call but she didn't want to. Hated doing it over text
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WaffleApple
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#6
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#6
(Original post by Anonymous)
You're right, it's a long distance relationship so I asked to call but she didn't want to. Hated doing it over text
Just do it over text because it really doesn’t matter how you do it as it will make her get over you MUCH quicker.

And this is coming from a guy. Sorry I have to say it... You’re still a t***

Why does alcohol always come into these threads about cheating? I’ve been hella off my face on a litre of Jack Daniels and I still would never cheat on a woman. Alcohol is just people’s scapegoat for the actions they take.
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by WaffleApple)
Just do it over text because it really doesn’t matter how you do it as it will make her get over you MUCH quicker.

And this is coming from a guy. Sorry I have to say it... You’re still a t***

Why does alcohol always come into these threads about cheating? I’ve been hella off my face on a litre of Jack Daniels and I still would never cheat on a woman. Alcohol is just people’s scapegoat for the actions they take.
I know I am, no two ways about it - will be a long time before I can take any pride in anything I do.

For me it's the fact that I wouldn't have done it sober. But I too have also had a bottle of jack and not looked at any girl coming up to me. I honestly don't know the difference.
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anosmianAcrimony
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#8
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Another day, another reason not to get drunk.

(That's a lie, I've seen like three ''I got drunk and ruined my relationship'' threads today)
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WaffleApple
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#9
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(Original post by Anonymous)
I know I am, no two ways about it - will be a long time before I can take any pride in anything I do.

For me it's the fact that I wouldn't have done it sober. But I too have also had a bottle of jack and not looked at any girl coming up to me. I honestly don't know the difference.
Bro we’ve been there, having to fight women off when in clubs ect. But what separates people is the ones that do it and the ones that don’t do it regardless of the circumstances.

When we was in Amsterdam my mate brought me to a high end brothel. We was both shashed and he gone off into a room with a girl. 5 different, drop dead gorgeous women over the course of an hour tried to get me in a room with them. I even had a girl dragging my arm saying “cmmmmon just f*ck me” but I didn’t do it man. Because even though I didn’t know what I was doing I still knew that I loved my gf...

The point of the story is that maybe you just didn’t love your girlfriend enough to say no? You had sex with your ex because you wanted to have sex with her, at that time. The alcohol made it an easier decision but you still wanted to have sex with her.

Tell the girl, move on, don’t hate yourself because it won’t help jack sh*t. I’d just say let it be a lesson learned for your next relationship.

Hey, at least you ain’t one of them guys that brags about it and feels good about cheating. Could be worse man.
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999tigger
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#10
Report 7 months ago
#10
(Original post by anosmianAcrimony)
Another day, another reason not to get drunk.

(That's a lie, I've seen like three ''I got drunk and ruined my relationship'' threads today)
Tbf its just their personal weakness rather than blaming drink.
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Anonymous #3
#11
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If I was her I would want to know. I think you should tell her
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Anonymous #4
#12
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People like you don't deserve to be in relationships because you take for granted what you have. Stories like this make me angry because as an unattractive person I can never get into a relationship and there are people in relationships who screw it up.
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Anonymous #1
#13
Report Thread starter 7 months ago
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(Original post by WaffleApple)
Bro we’ve been there, having to fight women off when in clubs ect. But what separates people is the ones that do it and the ones that don’t do it regardless of the circumstances.

When we was in Amsterdam my mate brought me to a high end brothel. We was both shashed and he gone off into a room with a girl. 5 different, drop dead gorgeous women over the course of an hour tried to get me in a room with them. I even had a girl dragging my arm saying “cmmmmon just f*ck me” but I didn’t do it man. Because even though I didn’t know what I was doing I still knew that I loved my gf...

The point of the story is that maybe you just didn’t love your girlfriend enough to say no? You had sex with your ex because you wanted to have sex with her, at that time. The alcohol made it an easier decision but you still wanted to have sex with her.

Tell the girl, move on, don’t hate yourself because it won’t help jack sh*t. I’d just say let it be a lesson learned for your next relationship.

Hey, at least you ain’t one of them guys that brags about it and feels good about cheating. Could be worse man.
Not that this is going to sound it, but I'm usually a very mentally stable person. Deal with stuff quite well. But you know them times when everything just catches up to you and you can't ignore it. I've had a fairly good relationship with this girl (the one I cheated on), we argue a lot but that sort of in my opinion made us a better connection because we were both quite similar so we knew how the other was thinking. So I have a relationship with maybe not a soulmate but someone who there was a possible future with. I have a business which if I put effort into will succeed very nicely, yet I go out twice a week and hardly put any work into it. Currently it's just difficult for me to have any respect for myself when I've got two main things all set up nicely for me and i've f***** them both up. I always find a way to amend things but I always put myself in these situations to begin with.
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vortex13
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#14
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#14
I mean you know the situation better than anyone else on here. But tbh I think u should definitely tell her. And think if u were her what would u want to know? And like if one of ur gfs cheated, how would u want them to tell you?
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Sweetcheeks3
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#15
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#15
You need to tell her! I didn’t hook up with my ex but I did send him pictures and never told my current boyfriend about it well he found out about half a year down the road and it about destroyed us he was more mad about the fact I hid it and didn’t tell him and lied about it then he was about it happening. In his Evers he’s like he’s seen you naked before and y’all have done it before so it’s nothing he hasent seen/touch in your case, but you hid it from me and lied so now I’m mad
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