Uni is breaking me (my uni story) Watch

Anonymous #1
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Report Thread starter 1 week ago
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I moved to uni a few months ago with very high expectations. i recently over came some anxiety i was suffering from. life seemed to be good and i could come back from most problems, but uni has destroyed me.

It all started just before freshers:

The friend i was closest to I will call E, just to protect her real name. E had been there for me for 7 months and we talked everyday, video called and spent hours together. We planned to spend alot of uni together. for her birthday i took her out for the day, by this point i had feeling for her and i thought she liked me too.

When uni rolled around everything in my life seemed in a pretty good spot. I had great friends at home, supportive parents, lots of online friends and a very positive attitude.

E and I spent the first night dancing in freshers and it felt so amazing. my new flats even thought she was my Girlfriend. The next few days started to see E growing apart from me and coming up with an excuse not to hang out. I think the final bullet came when one of my roommates said she was making out with her roommate at a party she said she was not going to. it hurt alot knowing she was lying to me and avoiding me to make out with roommate. I tried saving the friendship, but she was not having it. She even missed my birthday which caused me to cry.

E was not the only thing that upset me. i made lots of online friends who most grew quickly apart from me. I got very sick and my uni student services did not understand how close to depression i was. i felt super bad. However, i over came the *****y freshers and went forward into uni.

A few weeks after uni i was asked out by a friend, however after two dates i decided to call it off just as it did not feel right dating my uni friend i was so close to. My friend cried for weeks and blamed me. i felt so bad, i did not want to hurt her, but i felt like i had. My low mood hit me again.

I realized i still loved E and when she left me without saying anything and explaining really why she ditched me, it left me vulnerable and it still affects me months later.

The work in uni became much harder and my flat became a constant issue as they refused to communicate to me. I felt my trust slipping from the people i was friends with. people ignored my issues more and more.

The finally blow that made me come here to express my feelings was yesterday, when i met this girl who made me feel happy. she gave me hope and for the last week we been organizing a date. she called the date off last night (6/02/2019) and made an excuse. she did not even say she did not want to date, just cancelled the date for no reason after planning it with me for days.

this is my true uni story. i thought uni was going to be the best part of my life, but all i have learned is to hate myself and nearly everyone here. I lost the first girl i truly loved, lost many friends, overwhelmed with work and feel like i cant hang on forever.

Please let me know what you think of my story, i just want to share this struggle i have had.
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Xenobee
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Report 6 days ago
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Sounds to me like you're having a rough time. Friends can be bad sometimes when you're dealing with mental health issues, which I know isn't any comfort. The girl who cancelled the date might have had a really valid reason but didnt feel it was appropriate to tell you cos she might have thought you thought she was just making up excuses. And tbqh if she didnt have a valid reason then she's not worth your time anyway. Someone will come along in time. Perhaps you're still struggling to deal with the stuff with E? If thats the case then maybe you might find yourself happier if youre not consciously looking to meet girls and set up dates. Its cliche but you have to learn to be happy by yourself before you can be happy with others. Have you tried joining new societies to make some new friends who dont know E? It might help you to be around people who know nothing about her so you can pretend for a while that she doesnt exist in your world anymore
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