Trauma: I was snatched off the streets as a child need to get it off my chest Watch
I remember it how it happened, not vividly or detail orientated. It was the mid-1990s, and I was with family on holiday, and my Mum was in a Souvenir shop, while my Uncle was asked to watch me outside. I was wheelchair bound, so strapped into it, and my Uncle was sort of pottering about the immediate area smoking his cigarette. When I was approached by an oddly behaving guy. Very childlike, yet obviously adult. Offering me sweets (yes a bit cliche and a bit funny), but again this was 90s, stranger danger was not so emphasised in the UK. He was engaging me in small talk, greeting me, which I didn't find odd as a shy, impressionable disabled kid. Many adults sort of made small talk to me, I just though this guy was another nice person.
I know it was a man, possibly middle-aged (50s-60s). I don't know his face, partly because I blocked it out for years - but I remember feeling creeped out with his eyes, his stare, ice-y cold obsessed.
For years, I forgot what happened. The weeks after it I was obviously distressed, Mum never mentioned it, and it was sort of dismissed.
Then one day, I think in my teens it came back in full. Not flooding back, and not vividly but I recalled what happened - this was after an event literally 4 years earlier, I had an odd encounter with a strange woman outside school gates when I was in Yr5/6 - it triggered the earlier event.
So basically, an event from primary school sent me into a phase where i was irrational a lot as a child, had nightmares and sweats. Then later in my mid-teens that attempted abduction came back. Everything was weirdly connected - and it must have been in my psyche or sub-consciously.
I like to watch a lot of crime documentaries, which often feature abduction and it gets me thinking about all the UK kids that go missing, you just don't know what happened. But for me, I have 1st hand experience of it, and it frightens me. You never forget it when you see the darker side of humanity, and I feel for the families.
Or sometimes, what triggers it is, if I think i've seen a missing person or someone closely resembles them, I get agitated, distracted and dissociate from my surroundings and go off into my own little world. It terrifies me. I get jumpy at doors opening, noises, knocks at my door, my cats running about.
It never used to bother me, but this week I'm thinking about it all the time, and its bothersome. I wouldn't say I suffered any actually sexual abuse or physical violence, or that its PTSD, but it is traumatic and frankly irrational behaviour.
JUst thought I'd share this because I'm really depressed, and frightened.