I want to go university, but I don't want to move.

I want to go university, but I don't want to move. I don't want to move my items, or leave my family. I have social anxiety with talking to new people. Commute is 1hour 30min each way. I may not do good enough in university. I've got a place, shall I go? My biggest concern is moving.

Reply 1

TempestLaw

10

Speak to a counsellor about this. A lot of people have social anxiety, especially those just starting university but you'll never be able to deal with it without going out of your comfort zone at times in order to expand it. You can either try to just avoid situations that make you anxious, which doesn't address the problem, or try to get to the point where you can do what you want despite the anxiety (if needed consider therapy/medication)

If you really enjoy the university, maybe consider commuting for a bit to get used to it and then slowly transition to moving rather than moving in straight away. You shouldn't be in university more than 2-3 days anyway. Otherwise, are there any local universities you like?

Reply 2

Cookie_Master

11

Hi i'm in first year uni , Loneliness affects a lot of university students than you may think! During the start of university I felt this anxiouseness too, and other things that I thought would be difficult at university added to this. This is a nice compilation of struggles and how to face them. But you should be ok, at uni youll meet lots of ppl

https://www.thestudentroom.co.uk/university/advice/5-university-struggles-every-student-faces

Reply 3

Anotheranon

13

Just go for it. You're going to have to move away from home eventually, just take the plunge. 1 and a half hours away is nothing, it takes me a whole day to get home. Your very lucky, you can go home every weekend if u want to. Just go for it, you don't want to live in the same town all your life do you?

Reply 4

harrysbar

21

Original post by arjanvirdi

I want to go university, but I don't want to move. I don't want to move my items, or leave my family. I have social anxiety with talking to new people. Commute is 1hour 30min each way. I may not do good enough in university. I've got a place, shall I go? My biggest concern is moving.

Isn't there a Uni that you could go to that is closer to home? It may not be too late to change your uni choice

Reply 5

Sinnoh

22

Try to take the more unknown path while you still have the opportunity, you can fall back on the known later.
You'll be moving out and living on your own at some point anyway - so this is useful practice.
While I don't think you should commute (think of the cost of tickets!!) regular visits are definitely an option if you live 90 mins away.
A lot of people at university will have had the same dilemma as you.

Original post by arjanvirdi

I want to go university, but I don't want to move. I don't want to move my items, or leave my family. I have social anxiety with talking to new people. Commute is 1hour 30min each way. I may not do good enough in university. I've got a place, shall I go? My biggest concern is moving.

Hello,

You are not alone in this situation, many students feel like this when moving away from home. But if you feel confident enough you should go for it. The best way to overcome something is to tackle it face on. Or ease yourself in. Try the commute and if you start to enjoy your surroundings and the university there is always a chance to settle. Also, try speaking to the university, they will have methods to help you.

All the best,
Charlotte :smile:

Reply 7

PhoenixFortune

21

Original post by arjanvirdi

I want to go university, but I don't want to move. I don't want to move my items, or leave my family. I have social anxiety with talking to new people. Commute is 1hour 30min each way. I may not do good enough in university. I've got a place, shall I go? My biggest concern is moving.

You're really limiting yourself if you insist on not moving. You may get sick of the commute, or use it as an excuse to skip lectures (especially if as the year goes on). Moving is scary for everyone, but sometimes throwing yourself into a situation that you imagine will make you really uncomfortable is the best way to overcome it. You can make arrangements now to help you get used to the idea (e.g. organising when you will visit home and/or when your family will visit you, deciding what you will take to decorate your uni room, practising doing laundry/cleaning/cooking if you don't do that already, making sure you have the contact numbers of uni counselling services etc.).

Meeting new people is unavoidable at university anyway, unless you want to go through your whole three years not talking to anyone and having no uni friends at all.

I want to go university, but I don't want to move.

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