Is it morally wrong to accept an arrange marriage, and have a gf on the side?

This could be the script for Bend It Like Beckham 2 except it's not about football.

Yes. I've heard so many stories like this. If you're financially independent then "disappoint" them. Of they're worth anything they'll accept you for who you are. If they don't them they're not worth your time.

Say you go through with this and then want to marry your gf? Then what? Or are you going to hide her from your parents forever?

I wish more Pakistani girls would realise that families that your bring shame to like this aren't worth it.

So I’m bisexual girl but I prefer girls on a romantic and emotional level. My parents are very strict and are pressuring me to marry my cousin from Pakistan.

I’m considering going ahead with it and accepting my fate as I don’t want to lose my family or cause any shame to them. So please don’t advise me to leave them, and do my own thing as that’s not an option.

However in the back of my mind, I have thought about getting a gf on the side. Someone I can enjoy a passionate relationship with. There are fewer risks involved with a gf- no chance of pregnancies, lower risk of sexual diseases etc and I can even have her cover as a ‘friend’ of mine. We can hang out together as “friends@.

It’ll be unfair on the guy and I hate that. But let’s be honest, he doesn’t want to marry me because he’s madly in love with me or attracted to my personality. He wants me for the British passport and so he can come here make tons of money to send back home to his family. It’s a marriage of convenience for the both of us. I’ll be trapped in an arrange marriage where there was never any real passion or love to begin with.

I know of many British Pakistani men that get married back home and a have gf on the side in which the community are aware of. But men can get away with murder in our community!!

After chatting to a few girls, I was surprised to discover that plenty of them would not hesitate in dating a married woman. Perhaps it’s the whole forbidden fruit always tastes sweeter.

Or am I just being a selfish heartless *****?!


And before people lose their ****, this scenario is not something I’d likely go ahead with. I’m more likely going to be stuck in a loveless arrange marriage where I’d be loyal to be my husband. But not going to lie , the temptation is always there.

So I’m bisexual girl but I prefer girls on a romantic and emotional level. My parents are very strict and are pressuring me to marry my cousin from Pakistan.

I’m considering going ahead with it and accepting my fate as I don’t want to lose my family or cause any shame to them. So please don’t advise me to leave them, and do my own thing as that’s not an option.

However in the back of my mind, I have thought about getting a gf on the side. Someone I can enjoy a passionate relationship with. There are fewer risks involved with a gf- no chance of pregnancies, lower risk of sexual diseases etc and I can even have her cover as a ‘friend’ of mine. We can hang out together as “friends@.

It’ll be unfair on the guy and I hate that. But let’s be honest, he doesn’t want to marry me because he’s madly in love with me or attracted to my personality. He wants me for the British passport and so he can come here make tons of money to send back home to his family. It’s a marriage of convenience for the both of us. I’ll be trapped in an arrange marriage where there was never any real passion or love to begin with.

I know of many British Pakistani men that get married back home and a have gf on the side in which the community are aware of. But men can get away with murder in our community!!

After chatting to a few girls, I was surprised to discover that plenty of them would not hesitate in dating a married woman. Perhaps it’s the whole forbidden fruit always tastes sweeter.

Or am I just being a selfish heartless *****?!


And before people lose their ****, this scenario is not something I’d likely go ahead with. I’m more likely going to be stuck in a loveless arrange marriage where I’d be loyal to be my husband. But not going to lie , the temptation is always there.