During the upcoming April half term, for the 2 weeks when GCSE students should be intensely revising, I planned to visit my family in a different country. I have not seen them all year. My Grandmother recently became quite poorly and partially deaf, and I really fear the worst
I am very close to her; she raised me as a toddler.
However, now I am experiencing mental conflicts.
Being a natural-born crammer, I know the half term would be essential for achieving my full potential in the exams. But bringing with me all my folders/posters/flashcards/books will be almost impossible, there is not enough luggage room.
Once I am there, I will be living in a 46 sq m flat- sharing with 8-11 people. There will be 4 raucous young children and 1 screaming baby, who I will need to babysit often. Additionally, the kids will be running around my study table, stealing pens and gluing textbook pages together.
Furthermore, the town had suffered radioactive fallout from the Chernobyl disaster, and I always feel exhausted and like I cannot fully breathe when I am there. When I return to England, my sleep cycle will be f***ed up and I'm scared of performing badly in my GCSEs.
What the heck should I do? I feel very egoistic and extremely cold-blooded for even thinking about wrecking the chance to meet my grandma, I love her so much. Surely I cannot choose some materialistic grades over my family? If this is my last chance, I will never forgive myself.