Feeling lonely in third year Watch

lily312
Badges: 4
Rep:
?
#1
Report Thread starter 1 month ago
#1
I am a third year history student at Exeter, and I have found this year to be one of the most difficult of my life. I basically feel incredibly lonely, and I cannot wait to leave here - which makes me feel like an utter failure and that I have wasted my years at university which are supposed to be some of the best of your life.

In first year, I had two close friends who I lived with and on my course but at Christmas they both decided to drop out. By then I felt like everyone had made friendship groups, and so I pretty much just hung out with people in my flat which was okay. Then in second year, I tried to join societies etc., but became really ill a couple of months in (I have a long term illness) and pretty much had to become a recluse. I very nearly had to drop out because of how unwell I got.

It is now my final year, I live with people from my first year flat and we get on, but they have their own friendship groups who they hang out with and go out with. I'd feel stupid trying to tag along with them now. I feel really alone, and like a total failure. I am absolutely dreading graduation as my family will come along to see that I have nobody to talk too...

Sorry for the long, depressing question. This is not like me at all, I am usually a happy, fun person and at home I am used to having a large group of friends. Am I the only one who feels like this? Are there any other Exeter students who want to talk?
0
reply
ah317
Badges: 7
Rep:
?
#2
Report 1 month ago
#2
I had a similar experience in my first year at Oxford. It was going from a big group of friends to like practically living in the library. I just tried keeping close with friends back at home and focused on getting through the degree really. I guess it can happen in life!
1
reply
harrysbar
Badges: 18
Rep:
?
#3
Report 1 month ago
#3
(Original post by lily312)
I am a third year history student at Exeter, and I have found this year to be one of the most difficult of my life. I basically feel incredibly lonely, and I cannot wait to leave here - which makes me feel like an utter failure and that I have wasted my years at university which are supposed to be some of the best of your life.

In first year, I had two close friends who I lived with and on my course but at Christmas they both decided to drop out. By then I felt like everyone had made friendship groups, and so I pretty much just hung out with people in my flat which was okay. Then in second year, I tried to join societies etc., but became really ill a couple of months in (I have a long term illness) and pretty much had to become a recluse. I very nearly had to drop out because of how unwell I got.

It is now my final year, I live with people from my first year flat and we get on, but they have their own friendship groups who they hang out with and go out with. I'd feel stupid trying to tag along with them now. I feel really alone, and like a total failure. I am absolutely dreading graduation as my family will come along to see that I have nobody to talk too...

Sorry for the long, depressing question. This is not like me at all, I am usually a happy, fun person and at home I am used to having a large group of friends. Am I the only one who feels like this? Are there any other Exeter students who want to talk?
Sorry to hear about the hard time you have been having,it sounds like you have been very unlucky to find yourself in this situation. As far as graduation is concerned, why don't you just tell your family you can't be bothered to attend and don't want to, rather than worrying about it? Not everyone attends their graduation - my own niece didn't and just said she "couldn't be bothered" which no one questioned.

I'm not at Exeter but think you should try posting this in the Exeter Uni sub forum as well, to hopefully get more replies. Best of Luck - there's really not too long to go now
0
reply
Et tu brute
Badges: 2
Rep:
?
#4
Report 1 month ago
#4
Hey, if it helps you're not the only one who feels that way! I did not think I would find university life so difficult.I'm in my fourth year at Exeter doing Ancient History and had to repeat the final year of my undergrad degree because I had such a difficult time the last two. I have been told by parents, friends etc to try and focus on the degree after explaining to them feelings of loneliness similar to what you described above, but to no avail. I didn't realise how badly I needed good friends and company until second year, when I was in a house with people who I could have described as 'friends' but did not really enjoy hanging out with. Personally I found regular exercise and activity has helped somewhat, and making myself go to the occasional social event for society even if I did not feel like it. The closest friend I made at uni happened through dog walking, so going out doesn't have to be the basis for making friends. Have you joined/been to any societies this year? I imagine like me your contact hours are limited, but I have found even if I have not become friends with people on my course that attending seminars and making an effort to contribute even a little has helped elevate my mood. Feel free to message me on here if you want to talk. Don't lose heart if you can!
1
reply
CatnipGlows
Badges: 20
Rep:
?
#5
Report 1 week ago
#5
(Original post by lily312)
I am a third year history student at Exeter, and I have found this year to be one of the most difficult of my life. I basically feel incredibly lonely, and I cannot wait to leave here - which makes me feel like an utter failure and that I have wasted my years at university which are supposed to be some of the best of your life.

In first year, I had two close friends who I lived with and on my course but at Christmas they both decided to drop out. By then I felt like everyone had made friendship groups, and so I pretty much just hung out with people in my flat which was okay. Then in second year, I tried to join societies etc., but became really ill a couple of months in (I have a long term illness) and pretty much had to become a recluse. I very nearly had to drop out because of how unwell I got.

It is now my final year, I live with people from my first year flat and we get on, but they have their own friendship groups who they hang out with and go out with. I'd feel stupid trying to tag along with them now. I feel really alone, and like a total failure. I am absolutely dreading graduation as my family will come along to see that I have nobody to talk too...

Sorry for the long, depressing question. This is not like me at all, I am usually a happy, fun person and at home I am used to having a large group of friends. Am I the only one who feels like this? Are there any other Exeter students who want to talk?
Hi! I'm a final year from Exeter. Do you want to have a chat? Or meet up for coffee?
1
reply
Princepieman
Badges: 21
Rep:
?
#6
Report 1 week ago
#6
Always up for a chat as a fellow exetah student
0
reply
X

Quick Reply

Attached files
Write a reply...
Reply
new posts
Latest
My Feed

See more of what you like on
The Student Room

You can personalise what you see on TSR. Tell us a little about yourself to get started.

Personalise

University open days

  • Solent University
    Postgraduate and Professional Open Evenings Postgraduate
    Mon, 25 Mar '19
  • Cardiff University
    Undergraduate Open Day Undergraduate
    Wed, 27 Mar '19
  • University of Portsmouth
    Postgraduate and Part-Time Open Evenings Postgraduate
    Wed, 27 Mar '19

Where do you need more help?

Which Uni should I go to? (129)
17.94%
How successful will I become if I take my planned subjects? (73)
10.15%
How happy will I be if I take this career? (124)
17.25%
How do I achieve my dream Uni placement? (104)
14.46%
What should I study to achieve my dream career? (70)
9.74%
How can I be the best version of myself? (219)
30.46%

Watched Threads

View All