Broke up due to lack of "attention/effort" after family member became mortally ill Watch

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Report Thread starter 6 days ago

Long story short my girlfriend had to call it quits with me because at the time she thought I didn't give her enough "attention/effort" and as such thought that I didn't care and that I couldn't be bothered with having a relationship. This is all untrue although I understand why she would think that.

However, my emotional energy recently has been dedicated to my grandad who died a short time ago from dementia - clearly this was a long-term disease and entirely expected, but months before he had become even weaker and frailer. Understandably I was upset and not able to balance the emotional trauma of a breakup and my grandad passing at the same time and I made things worse by saying things I didn't mean and that I regret - we didn't end on particularly bad terms i.e none of us cheated or had a shouting match.

She says that she could not get into a relationship with me because I didn't bother to check messages or talk to her frequently enough, although in fact this was often because of the anxiety or grief surrounding my grandad's death. In her fairness I have not always been upfront about family issues and that made the issue explode at the last minute and caused us among other less significant reasons to breakup. Note that she was always very supportive but I'm not sure she quite understood the effect it had on me and the anxiety that I also experience regaredless and the other day she spoke to me out of her own time to talk about what made us breakup with each other, even though she had blocked me on social media.

Any way that I can convince her I do care and that we can go back to "old times" again now that I am able to put my full effort in again and tell her I truly love her? Would a letter help?

Many thanks,

Badges: 3
Report 6 days ago

Sorry to hear about your situation. I would just be honest with them. Meet up (not a date) and explain your situation and how you have been struggling. If they cant understand, they probably dont deserve to be with you.

Don't beg for them to go back, it might even be best if you guys take a brake. Do other things that youre passionate about/ make you happy, then go and get them!

Hope this helps,

Thanks, Lance

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