BF's false accusations/generally unsupportive Watch

Ciel.
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He has falsely accused me of cheating (because of my history I suppose) when the reality is that I got extremely drunk and was taken advantage of by come ****. He also thinks that my spending habits are out of control - this is true only to some extent, but I'm finding it hard to stop, I always spend money recklessly when stressed out. But we are not talking crazy amounts here, nothing that would lead us into any sort of debts or anything, I don't know why he's even bothered.

Lastly, he thinks I'm addicted to prescription drugs, which again, is not true. I don't really abuse them. I could stop taking them but I don't want to, because I need them.

To be honest, I think he's just being like this because he wants to break up with me, but doesn't have the guts to do it, so he wants me to do it. What do you guys think? I just can't think clearly lately, my mind never feels clear.
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Teajackson
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Maybe you should seek help from a professional
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DrawTheLine
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(Original post by Ciel.)
He has falsely accused me of cheating (because of my history I suppose) when the reality is that I got extremely drunk and was taken advantage of by come ****. He also thinks that my spending habits are out of control - this is true only to some extent, but I'm finding it hard to stop, I always spend money recklessly when stressed out. But we are not talking crazy amounts here, nothing that would lead us into any sort of debts or anything, I don't know why he's even bothered.

Lastly, he thinks I'm addicted to prescription drugs, which again, is not true. I don't really abuse them. I could stop taking them but I don't want to, because I need them.

To be honest, I think he's just being like this because he wants to break up with me, but doesn't have the guts to do it, so he wants me to do it. What do you guys think? I just can't think clearly lately, my mind never feels clear.
Your relationship isn't a healthy one anyway and sounds like neither of you are really happy. I think you know you should break up with him.
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cheesecakelove
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(Original post by Ciel.)
He has falsely accused me of cheating (because of my history I suppose) when the reality is that I got extremely drunk and was taken advantage of by come ****. He also thinks that my spending habits are out of control - this is true only to some extent, but I'm finding it hard to stop, I always spend money recklessly when stressed out. But we are not talking crazy amounts here, nothing that would lead us into any sort of debts or anything, I don't know why he's even bothered.

Lastly, he thinks I'm addicted to prescription drugs, which again, is not true. I don't really abuse them. I could stop taking them but I don't want to, because I need them.

To be honest, I think he's just being like this because he wants to break up with me, but doesn't have the guts to do it, so he wants me to do it. What do you guys think? I just can't think clearly lately, my mind never feels clear.
Do you still want to be in a relationship with him?
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Ciel.
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(Original post by DrawTheLine)
Your relationship isn't a healthy one anyway and sounds like neither of you are really happy. I think you know you should break up with him.
What makes it 'unhealthy'? It's not that I'm unhappy with him. I'm just an unhappy person in general.
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Ciel.
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(Original post by cheesecakelove)
Do you still want to be in a relationship with him?
Yes, but at the same time I just want to be on my own right now, if that makes sense. I just feel so dead, I have no energy to deal with relationship problems.
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Bio 7
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Well to be fair the cheating is in your past, and still seems to be going on.

If you both want to break up just do it, it sounds like you both have problems in the relationship.
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modifiedgenes
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Being accuses of cheating- he doesn't trust you, there is no relationship. It's finished. Ship him out.
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Ciel.
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(Original post by Bio 7)
Well to be fair the cheating is in your past, and still seems to be going on.

If you both want to break up just do it, it sounds like you both have problems in the relationship.
Yes, but what bothers me the most is the fact that he thinks I made up the assault story. I don't want to break up, though.
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Ciel.
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(Original post by modifiedgenes)
Being accuses of cheating- he doesn't trust you, there is no relationship. It's finished. Ship him out.
This isn't some teenage fling, I wouldn't end our relationship over something like that.
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Retired_Messiah
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(Original post by Ciel.)
He has falsely accused me of cheating (because of my history I suppose) when the reality is that I got extremely drunk and was taken advantage of by come ****. He also thinks that my spending habits are out of control - this is true only to some extent, but I'm finding it hard to stop, I always spend money recklessly when stressed out. But we are not talking crazy amounts here, nothing that would lead us into any sort of debts or anything, I don't know why he's even bothered.

Lastly, he thinks I'm addicted to prescription drugs, which again, is not true. I don't really abuse them. I could stop taking them but I don't want to, because I need them.

To be honest, I think he's just being like this because he wants to break up with me, but doesn't have the guts to do it, so he wants me to do it. What do you guys think? I just can't think clearly lately, my mind never feels clear.
So you have a history of cheating, hence he'll be more paranoid than the average. Reckless spending is risky, as while you don't spend entirely out of your means now, there's not a lot to guarantee that you won't do so later, especially when you admit yourself that it's "hard to stop". Your line you've wheeled out about perscription drugs is the exact line addicts in denial tend to use. Even if everything you say about yourself in your OP is 100% true, you can see where he's coming from.

All sounds rather messy, really. He's probably being like this because he has genuine concerns. Whether he actually wants to break up or not doesn't change that fact.
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modifiedgenes
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If I ever accused a person I was in a relationship of cheating and being on prescription drugs, I would expect to be dumped at the very least, probably get a smack in the mouth for my trouble as well.

If there is no trust then there is no relationship, it is that simple.
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modifiedgenes
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(Original post by Ciel.)
This isn't some teenage fling, I wouldn't end our relationship over something like that.
He is accusing you of cheating, that is one of the most serious issues in any relationship. If he has trust issues that is his problem, not yours. He needs to grow the hell up.

And accusing you of being on prescription medication? I can't really believe what I am reading. What odds does it make if you are or not? Tell him to mind his own business.

False accusations and generally unsupportive- who the heck needs that in their life? Tell him to sort himself out because it is harming your relationship. If he genuinely cares about you or loves you, he would not be behaving in this way.
Last edited by modifiedgenes; 1 week ago
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It's****ingWOODY
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Every point basically reads "my boyfriend thinks ________ about me - he's basically right, but..." :lol:

Drunk or not, cheating is cheating mate. You have a history of cheating and you must know by now that the likelihood of doing so would increase when you're drunk, so to then put yourself in that situation again just had bad news written all over it.
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Retired_Messiah
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(Original post by modifiedgenes)
He is accusing you of cheating, that is one of the most serious issues in any relationship. If he has trust issues that is his problem, not yours. He needs to grow the hell up.

And accusing you of being on prescription medication? I can't really believe what I am reading. What odds does it make if you are or not? Tell him to mind his own business.

False accusations and generally unsupportive- who the heck needs that in their life? Tell him to sort himself out because it is harming your relationship. If he genuinely cares about you or loves you, he would not be behaving in this way.
Did you miss the part where OP basically implied that they either had done or are doing all the things they were accused of?
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modifiedgenes
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(Original post by Retired_Messiah)
Did you miss the part where OP basically implied that they either had done or are doing all the things they were accused of?
Previously or subsequently to the accusations? If he doesn't trust the woman then down the road he should go. I'd be out of there like Flash Gordon.
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anosmianAcrimony
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(Original post by modifiedgenes)
Previously or subsequently to the accusations? If he doesn't trust the woman then down the road he should go. I'd be out of there like Flash Gordon.
I'm not sure which person you've mistaken for a woman, but both the OP and his boyfriend are guys.

Anyhow if there's no trust in the relationship, then you're right - they should either make some serious changes or break up.
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Ciel.
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(Original post by Retired_Messiah)
So you have a history of cheating, hence he'll be more paranoid than the average. Reckless spending is risky, as while you don't spend entirely out of your means now, there's not a lot to guarantee that you won't do so later, especially when you admit yourself that it's "hard to stop". Your line you've wheeled out about perscription drugs is the exact line addicts in denial tend to use. Even if everything you say about yourself in your OP is 100% true, you can see where he's coming from.

All sounds rather messy, really. He's probably being like this because he has genuine concerns. Whether he actually wants to break up or not doesn't change that fact.
Well, there sort of is. I kinda go through phases where I spend money recklessly, but then I stop eventually, it's a temporary thing.
And it really isn't, I can stop taking them for like a week, without going crazy from withdrawal, meaning I am not addicted. It's just very unpleasant to stop.
Even if he is concerned, there's nothing I can do, so what's the point...

(Original post by modifiedgenes)
If I ever accused a person I was in a relationship of cheating and being on prescription drugs, I would expect to be dumped at the very least, probably get a smack in the mouth for my trouble as well.

If there is no trust then there is no relationship, it is that simple.
Not being on prescription drugs. Just addiction/abuse. But yeah, I get what you mean.
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Ciel.
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(Original post by It's****ingWOODY)
Every point basically reads "my boyfriend thinks ________ about me - he's basically right, but..." :lol:

Drunk or not, cheating is cheating mate. You have a history of cheating and you must know by now that the likelihood of doing so would increase when you're drunk, so to then put yourself in that situation again just had bad news written all over it.
No, it isn't. It's not cheating at all, in my opinion.
I just don't know my limit, sometimes I can drink a lot and I'm fine, and sometimes I'm completely wasted after a few drinks. It's because I'm on meds that don't mix well with alcohol.
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ZombieTheWolf
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In a relationship you should work to tackle a problem together, and not try to take eachother down.

It sounds like he is concerned for you, and when the boy cried wolf no one came. If you were taken advantage of that is terrible, and I hope he had supported you at some point at least.

Look at this way, his gf/bf has a past of being a bit naughty, and now they admitted to being taken advantage of. That is where his mind probably jumped to, you cheated again because you have a history of it. His thought process isn't ridiculous at all and completely natural.

I think you need to discuss this with him, tell him what you said here (that you really were taken advantage of, and realise how suspicious it looks given your past but all you ask for is support and understanding) and maybe devise a plan to not let this happen again. Maybe making sure you always have a friend? Reporting the person? Trying to limit your drinks (which both me and my bf do to avoid such situations)? The world isn't rainbows and unicorns, and there are terrible people out there who want to hurt you and will; you really need to take care of yourself.

Second of all, you acknowledge you have money problem albeit not a huge one. This seems to be coming from.a place of concern (although I don't know him enough to say 100%) and I think you should hear him out. Ask him why it is such an issue to you two, you need to hear out his concerns even if you don't see the problem (often with bad habits we don't, and we need someone from the outside to let us know). Remember to explain why you don't see the issue, but don't let it get to an argument; compromise somehow.

Regarding your last point, again he is just concerned. Why would he say that to tease you? And if he wanted to leave you, why does he even care you 'cheated'? Try and put yourself in his shoes, or maybe speak to him about the concerns he has and let him vent and make sure to listen. I think it would be wise to see a doctor if you even have a thought in the back of your head that he may be right on this one.


Don't let these anxious thoughts about him breaking up with you get the best of you, cause they will and you will end up breaking up. Speak to him. Tell him how you feel, don't be afraid if you think it will hurt him because you two deserve to fix these problems together and you can't leave anything behind. .
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Last edited by ZombieTheWolf; 1 week ago
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