How to not compare yourself to others Watch

Anonymous #1
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I'm year 13, and I can't help but constantly compare myself to other classmates. I want to be the best students in the class, because to me that's the only way to prove myself that I'm not worthless. Even if I get a good grade, I still won't be happy because I know there is someone who has a better grade than me. Also, if nobody congratulates me, I'll feel like failure and that I'm not good enough. I remember getting an A* in my gcse mock, I was really happy, but when I told my family they didn't seem to care at all, which made me feel like I was happy for no reason, and that I shouldn't feel proud of myself.

I keep wanting to be better that my classmates, I want to study more than them and get better grades as them. I'm assuming it's some sort of self-esteem issue, but if I'm not better than someone then I'll feel totally useless. The only thing good about myself is my school grades, which to be honest aren't even that good.

Any advice on how I can stop comparing myself? Thank you.
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Anonymous #1
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Bump? is that what you even call it
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Gent2324
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because most of those people, you will never see again ever in your life after you finish school.

if this really is a serious issue for you i reccommend reading the subtle art of not giving a **** by mark manson, it talks about this kind of issue alot and really helped me. good luck

i think its chapter 4 that goes on about this kind of thing
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chooseanother
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I’d say try and divert your attention from achieving higher grades and building your whole self esteem around your academic achievements. Like you said, that will never truly bring you happiness because there will always be someone who does better than you. Instead, focus on other things that you are good at, your other talents, attributes and hobbies which are individual to you. Be forgiving and kind to yourself even if you aren’t achieving as much as you want to right away.
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by Gent2324)
because most of those people, you will never see again ever in your life after you finish school.

if this really is a serious issue for you i reccommend reading the subtle art of not giving a **** by mark manson, it talks about this kind of issue alot and really helped me. good luck

i think its chapter 4 that goes on about this kind of thing
That's true, although I won't see them anymore I can't help it. Thanks for the book recommendation, I'll try reading it soon (:
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Neeta211
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I think comparison stops when you are happy with yourself. Know that you do not need to please other people and you should be proud of your achievements whether or not others acknowledge it. And what you have is yours, what others have belongs to them, so why compare? Easier said than done, I guess.
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by chooseanother)
I’d say try and divert your attention from achieving higher grades and building your whole self esteem around your academic achievements. Like you said, that will never truly bring you happiness because there will always be someone who does better than you. Instead, focus on other things that you are good at, your other talents, attributes and hobbies which are individual to you. Be forgiving and kind to yourself even if you aren’t achieving as much as you want to right away.
Very true. And what you said is accurate, I think it's because I've "build" my self-esteem on academics for years, so I'm used to comparisoj. l'll keep that in mind, and try to focus on hobbies after I finish school, thank you (:
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by Neeta211)
I think comparison stops when you are happy with yourself. Know that you do not need to please other people and you should be proud of your achievements whether or not others acknowledge it. And what you have is yours, what others have belongs to them, so why compare? Easier said than done, I guess.
Very true. I'll just have to keep trying to tell myself this, thanks for your answer!
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londonmyst
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You have a strong competitive instinct and work ethic.
Both of these characteristics will serve you well in life.
The real world determines success and the character of every person based upon their: achievements, individual qualities and choices.
Yours show that you want to be recognized for academic achievement, earning the highest grades possible and the hard work that it takes to achieve them.

But see every positive achievement as a personal milestone and building block to improve further.
Don't expect all other people to appreciate your emphasis on studying and wanting to achieve something positive for yourself.
This country has plenty of thugs, drug dealers and violent criminals who have no greater ambitions than to brag for ten minutes on the Jeremy Kyle show.
Jerks, losers and violent criminals don't share your approach to life. They never will.
Remember that you don't need their approval to inspire yourself to work harder.
Your achievements and the life lessons that you will learn as you work toward fulfilling your ambitions, will be an inspiration to both you and other people who will look up to you as their role model.
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by londonmyst)
You have a strong competitive instinct and work ethic.
Both of these characteristics will serve you well in life.
The real world determines success and the character of every person based upon their: achievements, individual qualities and choices.
Yours show that you want to be recognized for academic achievement, earning the highest grades possible and the hard work that it takes to achieve them.

But see every positive achievement as a personal milestone and building block to improve further.
Don't expect all other people to appreciate your emphasis on studying and wanting to achieve something positive for yourself.
This country has plenty of thugs, drug dealers and violent criminals who have no greater ambitions than to brag for ten minutes on the Jeremy Kyle show.
Jerks, losers and violent criminals don't share your approach to life. They never will.
Remember that you don't need their approval to inspire yourself to work harder.
Your achievements and the life lessons that you will learn as you work toward fulfilling your ambitions, will be an inspiration to both you and other people who will look up to you as their role model.
That was nice of you to say, great advice, thank you sm!
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by londonmyst)
You have a strong competitive instinct and work ethic.
Both of these characteristics will serve you well in life.
The real world determines success and the character of every person based upon their: achievements, individual qualities and choices.
Yours show that you want to be recognized for academic achievement, earning the highest grades possible and the hard work that it takes to achieve them.

But see every positive achievement as a personal milestone and building block to improve further.
Don't expect all other people to appreciate your emphasis on studying and wanting to achieve something positive for yourself.
This country has plenty of thugs, drug dealers and violent criminals who have no greater ambitions than to brag for ten minutes on the Jeremy Kyle show.
Jerks, losers and violent criminals don't share your approach to life. They never will.
Remember that you don't need their approval to inspire yourself to work harder.
Your achievements and the life lessons that you will learn as you work toward fulfilling your ambitions, will be an inspiration to both you and other people who will look up to you as their role model.
Perhaps comparison isn't always that bad, but I'll try seeing the positives in my improvements
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JoshDarnIt
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Comparing yourself to others is fruitless. You're not them, won't be, and shouldn't try to be. Here's a thought I've been toying with that could help:

If you understand infinite universe theory, you'd know there are infinite versions of yourself. In every situation you're in, there exists a version of you that is excelling in that situation. You're at a club trying to get a woman? There are yous that have already gone home with a girl. Yous that are currently dancing with girls. If you're in some sporting event, there are yous winning the sporting event and scoring the best number of points. There are yous running a little faster, trying a little harder, only a tiny bit ahead of you.

Compare yourself to them. The you that is successful. The you you CAN be. The you you want to be. Then go BE them. There are yous with control over their fears, yous that are more motivated, focused. Yous that know they're the most awesome mother****er ever.

There are universes where you don't just succeed, but thrive. Make this one of them.
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