I found out my crush is gay (yay!) but what should I do? Watch

Anonymous #1
#1
Report Thread starter 1 month ago
#1
(anon because I'm not out)

I'm in my first year of uni and there's a guy on my course I've been noticing since the beginning. He's rly fit but I only had a little crush on him and just let it be

Then we got put in the same tutorial. Now I see him every week, hear how he speaks in the tutorial, how he speaks to his friends. He's kind, smart, funny, etc

tldr: I now have a huuuuge crush :lovedup:

Last week we discussed societal expectations and he said, in front of the whole class, that he likes boys. I nearly fell off my chair! The rest of the day (or the week, tbf) all I could think was omgomgomgomgomg hes gay

... but I'm useless.

No one knows I'm gay so I've never done anything with anyone, not been on a date, not kissed,,, even tho I'm almost 19

He always sits with his friends, I sit with mine. I'm rly shy as well and I'll defo embarrass myself if I talk to him. So what should I do? I want to just ignore this but I like him a lot and I don't want to be single forever either
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Anonymous #2
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Report 1 month ago
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Just take the leap. Ask him out. I know it's really hard, but think about it. Worst case, he says no, you feel embarrassed. That'll pass. It may take a while, but you will get over it. Best case though, he says yes, and you've got yourself a boyfriend!
At the end of the day, it's up to you. Don't do anything you don't feel comfortable with. I'm just saying the reward is definitely worth the risk, at least in my opinion.
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HowToBeABlobfish
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(Original post by Anonymous)
Just take the leap. Ask him out. I know it's really hard, but think about it. Worst case, he says no, you feel embarrassed. That'll pass. It may take a while, but you will get over it. Best case though, he says yes, and you've got yourself a boyfriend!
At the end of the day, it's up to you. Don't do anything you don't feel comfortable with. I'm just saying the reward is definitely worth the risk, at least in my opinion.
Bad idea OP. Don't ask him out straight away (pun intended)
It's best to get to know him first, become his friend first.
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Anonymous #2
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(Original post by HowToBeABlobfish)
Bad idea OP. Don't ask him out straight away (pun intended)
It's best to get to know him first, become his friend first.
Yeah no OP, listen to this person. I have no idea what I'm talking about (I'm not being sarcastic, please don't take this as an attack, HowToBeABlobfish) Sorry for the awful advice, I really ought to stop meddling in things I know nothing about.
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georgem93
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#5
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(Original post by Anonymous)
(anon because I'm not out)

I'm in my first year of uni and there's a guy on my course I've been noticing since the beginning. He's rly fit but I only had a little crush on him and just let it be

Then we got put in the same tutorial. Now I see him every week, hear how he speaks in the tutorial, how he speaks to his friends. He's kind, smart, funny, etc

tldr: I now have a huuuuge crush :lovedup:

Last week we discussed societal expectations and he said, in front of the whole class, that he likes boys. I nearly fell off my chair! The rest of the day (or the week, tbf) all I could think was omgomgomgomgomg hes gay

... but I'm useless.

No one knows I'm gay so I've never done anything with anyone, not been on a date, not kissed,,, even tho I'm almost 19

He always sits with his friends, I sit with mine. I'm rly shy as well and I'll defo embarrass myself if I talk to him. So what should I do? I want to just ignore this but I like him a lot and I don't want to be single forever either
Hey man, feel free to drop me a pm and we can talk about this! One of my friends was in exactly the same situation!
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by HowToBeABlobfish)
Bad idea OP. Don't ask him out straight away (pun intended)
It's best to get to know him first, become his friend first.
That's what I'm thinking, but how do I do that?
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by georgem93)
Hey man, feel free to drop me a pm and we can talk about this! One of my friends was in exactly the same situation!
How did things work out for your friend?
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georgem93
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(Original post by Anonymous)
How did things work out for your friend?
Very well!
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HowToBeABlobfish
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(Original post by Anonymous)
That's what I'm thinking, but how do I do that?
I'm not exactly the most experienced person so I have no idea. I guess just say hi, find common interests.

Maybe you should ask someone else lol I really have no idea.
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SanityGone
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#10
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Have you ever actually spoken to him? Maybe just try to make eye contact in tutorial and see if/how he reacts. Did other people in the group seem surprised when he said he liked boys or is it generally known among his friends?
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Anonymous #1
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Report Thread starter 4 weeks ago
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(Original post by SanityGone)
Have you ever actually spoken to him? Maybe just try to make eye contact in tutorial and see if/how he reacts. Did other people in the group seem surprised when he said he liked boys or is it generally known among his friends?
No, I haven't spoken to him I don't know what to say and I'm too shy

We made eye contact a couple of times, mostly because I stare at him and sometimes he catches my eye. I always look away immediately so I'm not sure about his reaction. There was one instance where he caught me staring, raised his eyebrows, I looked down cos my face turned red, then when I looked up again he was smiling at me. That's the most interaction we've had. I don't know what it's supposed to mean :confused:

His friends didn't seem surprised, and I assume he must be confident in his sexuality to simply announce it like that. I could never. My friends said they hadn't seen it coming, that he "doesn't look gay", and I agree with them.
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SanityGone
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#12
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Can you add him on social media? As you’re in the same tutorial group it wouldn’t be a weird thing to do...

Maybe try to catch his eye and not look away immediately or smile a little as you look away. Maybe if you’re going into class at the same time say hi. At least if you do ever find yourself in a position to speak you have the tutorial stuff in common - even if it’s just to say ‘god that went on, I could do with a coffee...’ 😉😉😉
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frostfly
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#13
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#13
(Original post by Anonymous)
Just take the leap. Ask him out. I know it's really hard, but think about it. Worst case, he says no, you feel embarrassed. That'll pass. It may take a while, but you will get over it. Best case though, he says yes, and you've got yourself a boyfriend!
At the end of the day, it's up to you. Don't do anything you don't feel comfortable with. I'm just saying the reward is definitely worth the risk, at least in my opinion.
Brilliant advice!
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Anonymous #2
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(Original post by frostfly)
Brilliant advice!
Oh come on, I know it's bad. No need to rub it in.
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Little Popcorns
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Your best bet is to sort of slowly make moves towards his group and generally get to know them all. And hopefully everyone will end up on eachother’s social media and maybe you’ll end up friends and meeting up more often... one thing leads to another? Fingers crossed.

Also this thread is very cute and exciting
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Last edited by Little Popcorns; 4 weeks ago
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pereira325
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I thought the issue was that you were a girl, and he was a guy... and he was gay. LOL
Mate, if he's gay and you're gay you're well in luck there.
Most guys aren't gay so you have a good chance really if you go for it... if he's been looking at you it means he potentially likes you, and, anyway, the competition is clearly not too strong!
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Anonymous #1
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Report Thread starter 4 weeks ago
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(Original post by SanityGone)
Can you add him on social media? As you’re in the same tutorial group it wouldn’t be a weird thing to do...

Maybe try to catch his eye and not look away immediately or smile a little as you look away. Maybe if you’re going into class at the same time say hi. At least if you do ever find yourself in a position to speak you have the tutorial stuff in common - even if it’s just to say ‘god that went on, I could do with a coffee...’ 😉😉😉
Wouldn't it be weird to add him if we've never spoken?

I'm just so scared of talking to him What if I won't be able to form a decent sentence in front of him?
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Anonymous #1
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Report Thread starter 4 weeks ago
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(Original post by Little Popcorns)
Your best bet is to sort of slowly make moves towards his group and generally get to know them all. And hopefully everyone will end up on eachother’s social media and maybe you’ll end up friends and meeting up more often... one thing leads to another? Fingers crossed.

Also this thread is very cute and exciting
I could try that... We have the tutorial again tomorrow so should I just go sit near his friends instead of near my own?
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Anonymous #1
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Report Thread starter 4 weeks ago
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(Original post by pereira325)
I thought the issue was that you were a girl, and he was a guy... and he was gay. LOL
Mate, if he's gay and you're gay you're well in luck there.
Most guys aren't gay so you have a good chance really if you go for it... if he's been looking at you it means he potentially likes you, and, anyway, the competition is clearly not too strong!
I know, it's never happened before that the boy I fancy is actually gay (so now I have no clue how to handle it!)

Not trying to be arrogant but I don't think I'm bad looking, I'm just so awkward So maybe he thinks I'm alright now but when we actually speak he'll dislike me
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SanityGone
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(Original post by Anonymous)
Wouldn't it be weird to add him if we've never spoken?

I'm just so scared of talking to him What if I won't be able to form a decent sentence in front of him?
Nah, I get added by random people I’ve never spoken to all the time. Girlfriends of my boyfriends mates, people who’ve caught my name at work, people who have mutual friends, people in my form who I don’t really know etc. You have the tutorial group in common. He might just drop you a DM when you send him an add request, and you might find it easier to reply to a DM as a bit of an ice breaker 🤔

‘Hi’ is a decent sentence on its own 🤔
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