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Boyfriend smoking weed bothers me

I have been with my boyfriend for two months and I recently found out that occasionally he likes to smoke weed. I have a very strong stance against the use of all drugs and it really bothers me that he uses weed. I tried to talk to him about it and he said weed isn’t really a drug and that it has many benefits.

I tried to explain my side, saying that he is basically giving money to criminal drug dealers, who are probably linked to gangs and this is just contributing to more crime.

I feel I don’t have a right to tell him what to do but drugs goes against my values and it really does bother me.

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If you can't put up with a boyfriend that stinks of weed, the side effects on his personality caused by smoking it and knowing he's a habitual criminal keeping drug dealing criminals in business- you are in the wrong relationship.
I don't agree with the recreational use of illegal drugs either and avoid getting involved with people that enjoy indulging in this criminality.
Reply 2
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Anonymous #1
OP
Original post by londonmyst
If you can't put up with a boyfriend that stinks of weed, the side effects on his personality caused by smoking it and knowing he's a habitual criminal keeping drug dealing criminals in business- you are in the wrong relationship.
I don't agree with the recreational use of illegal drugs either and avoid getting involved with people that enjoy indulging in this criminality.

The thing is I didn’t even know he smoked weed until recently. I feel like it’s his friends that are sort of influencing him into it. I don’t want to break up with him because I do love him.
Original post by Anonymous
The thing is I didn’t even know he smoked weed until recently. I feel like it’s his friends that are sort of influencing him into it. I don’t want to break up with him because I do love him.


Drugs can act as a gateway to some very unpleasant situations/people.
Regularly smoking weed can trigger paranoia, aggression, insomnia, even delusions and hearing voices.
Trust your gut instinct, if you feel that his drugs are taking you down a path that scares you- cut off from him and his friends.
No relationship is worth the hassle that drug dealers, drug side effects and facing criminal charges result in.
It's your choice OP. If his dope smoking is a deal breaker for you that's fine. If it isn't, that's fine too.
It's highly unlikely he will give it up because you want him to.
So, do you want to accept him as he is, or reject him? You will have my moral support with whatever decision you make.
I don't blame you. When I see my friends smoking weed they act so dumb while they're high, and they stink. I'd be so annoyed if my boyfriend was stoned all the time.

But, it's not really fair to tell him to stop. I had an ex who smoked cigarettes and I hated it - so I told him to at the very least only do it when I'm not around, if he's unable to quit.
If it bothers you too much and he doesn't intent to quit then you know what you need to do.
Reply 7
Avatar for mgi
mgi
20
Original post by Anonymous
I have been with my boyfriend for two months and I recently found out that occasionally he likes to smoke weed. I have a very strong stance against the use of all drugs and it really bothers me that he uses weed. I tried to talk to him about it and he said weed isn’t really a drug and that it has many benefits.

I tried to explain my side, saying that he is basically giving money to criminal drug dealers, who are probably linked to gangs and this is just contributing to more crime.

I feel I don’t have a right to tell him what to do but drugs goes against my values and it really does bother me.

If your boyfriend really contradicts your values then that should raise alarm bells with you! If he flouts your values then you need to pause your relationship with him. At least you are getting to see that his values don't match your before he ropes you further into more relationship mess which he will do if he is smoking weed and you hate it!
If he loves you he will understand, if not You better know what to do.
Original post by Anonymous
I have been with my boyfriend for two months and I recently found out that occasionally he likes to smoke weed. I have a very strong stance against the use of all drugs and it really bothers me that he uses weed. I tried to talk to him about it and he said weed isn’t really a drug and that it has many benefits.

I tried to explain my side, saying that he is basically giving money to criminal drug dealers, who are probably linked to gangs and this is just contributing to more crime.

I feel I don’t have a right to tell him what to do but drugs goes against my values and it really does bother me.


Personally, I am completely fine with the recreational use of weed, however someone saying that it "isn't really a drug" is ridiculously moronic. He's trying to defend drug-use by saying the drugs he's using aren't drugs, and although the drugs he's using aren't really going to have an immediately terrible effect like something like heroin or fentanyl could (opioids tend to be the worse), he seems like the type of person who will go on to use more drugs and suddenly add those to his list of "not-drugs".

After only two months, I can almost be certain that you don't truly love him, and it's best to get the **** out now before you become properly emotionally attached and it becomes almost impossible to leave. Also, I should mention that anyone who just brushes off their girlfriend's concerns by saying they're invalid isn't a very kind person.
its just weed calm down.
tell him to stop then and if he doesn't and you can't bear it then leave him. My ex bf used to smoke and I told him that I didn't like it or want him doing it and he said that he gave up but he didn't, he still did it behind my back even in my house when I wasn't there once so I don't think that he'll give up
Original post by Anonymous

I tried to explain my side, saying that he is basically giving money to criminal drug dealers, who are probably linked to gangs and this is just contributing to more crime.

He could always grow his own and avoid all that.
Hey,

Sorry about your situation. Just be open with him, if he can't understand then he probably does not deserve to be with you.

Hope this helps,

Thanks, Lance
I do not always conform to the legalities of such things, smoking weed? So what, I condemn drinking alcohol far more.
either accept it or dump him...

There's so many threads of girls trying to find out how to force their BF to change his lifestyle, you need to let him live and make his own choices and you won't always agree.
Original post by whydoidothis?
its just weed calm down.

No.
Original post by doodle_333
either accept it or dump him...

There's so many threads of girls trying to find out how to force their BF to change his lifestyle, you need to let him live and make his own choices and you won't always agree.

I am not trying to change him. It's not the fact that he smokes weed. It's the fact that he's getting it from a drug dealer criminal and giving money to criminals. That's the problem.
Original post by Anonymous
I am not trying to change him. It's not the fact that he smokes weed. It's the fact that he's getting it from a drug dealer criminal and giving money to criminals. That's the problem.

So if he grew it himself you'd be happy?
Original post by Anonymous
I am not trying to change him. It's not the fact that he smokes weed. It's the fact that he's getting it from a drug dealer criminal and giving money to criminals. That's the problem.

Your options are to get over it or leave.

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