Falling in love with my aunts brother-in-law!

Where do i even begin...?
Here’s a bit of Backround info, so y'all know where i'm kinda coming from.
I'm 17 years old, Bengali and i'm Muslim (if you don’t know, my religion prohibits dating hence why I’m referring to marriage here)
My aunt recently got married last summer. Her husband (my uncle) has 7 brothers (he is the oldest). One of them is my age, and we are in the same academic year. Another one is about 2-3 years older than me.
Me and my aunt are quite close, shes quite young only In her mid-twenties. She is like a big sister to me, considering the fact that I’m her eldest niece (I’m the oldest niece (no nephews) on my mums side of the fam) and I’ve got no older siblings.
A few days ago my family invited my auntie and uncle, along with his whole family to our house, culturally we do this as a way of welcoming the groom to the family and the integration of both familes (If you know , you know lol) can’t really explain it. The brother who is 2-3 years older than me came over, whereas the one my age didn’t (who, bearing in mind, I’ve only seen once, on my aunt’s wedding day ofcourse)
As probably guessed by now, I have developed great feelings towards my uncles brother (whos 2-3 years older than me). Prior to the day he came over, I remember my aunt mentioning his name to me and saying “I showed …{His name}..a picture, and you were in it, and he said that I looked like you! (she laughs) and I said “you mean she looks like me, I came in to the world before her” (we both laughed)”. So obviously her having said that, I thought wow! Even my aunties brother in-laws think we look alike, which many people do say (we do kind of look alike haha).
So when he came over, he was really having a good look at me everytime I was in his presence(not creepily though lol), I thought he was really cute in character and he really did tick all my boxes. I really admired the way he was talking to my family, my dad in particular. When he finished eating, I offered to wash his plate (if your Bengali you’ll get me lol) and I said to leave his plate in the sink, he said it was okay he’ll do it, I was ready to wash his plate by taking the dishsponge and the fairy liquid, and he took it off my hand and made me step aside so he can wash the dishes. I handed tea over to my dad, and he was taking big glances at me. When speaking to my auntie he’ll just gaze over, or she’ll be calling me by sweet nicknames (it was “princess” this time) to come and help her with something, and I think he was lowkey shocked about the relationship she has with her niece. Anyway all this went on, I didn’t have a proper full on convo with him, but enough was enough…I knew this guy was a potential for me. I even started to ask my auntie questions about him, but realised, I didn’t want her to get the idea that I fancy her bro inlaw.
I know I’m only 17, and some of you might be thinking wtf why you thinking about marriage NOW!
Well, im that girl who as a clear vision for future, as well as my career, marriage and having a family is definitely a goal for me.
I know more guys are going to enter my life, but I’m someone who considers the gems ive come across, the guys ive come across now and in the past.
Although I don’t know my aunties brother inlaws’ properly. For a potential spouse, compatibility is most important for me. Simple things like, Culture, religion, traits etc. Which I feel like I share with the brother that came over.
The question is,
How do I get to know them more? How do I bring up the subject of marriage (obviously when I’m ready in a few years time)? I’m fortunate enough to have my aunties living with her inlaws for a while, I feel like she’ll be a great help in telling them more about me too, but how on earth do I tell her?

Reply 1

sorisaca

Take it slow. Yes, you’re curious (i mean who wouldnt be haha) but in the most LOWKEY WAY, (even put a sprinkle of an excuse reason) ask about your aunts brother in law. EX: ask her about his 7 brothers and the brother that came over to the family function (aka your future potential husband) and ask the basic questions like. “Oh is he from this school or that” ask lowkey basic questions. To make it more natural have a small conversation that will LEAD to the topic of her brother in law, like “the family fucntion was fun, his family was nice. He has 7 brothers right?. oh.. who was your brother in law again?”

If she gets suspicious, tell her you’re just wondering because it’s the first time you’ve really “met” her brother in law. Slowly you’ll know more about him, luckily see him more often here and there, But hey if you wanna give it a shot, pay your aunt a visit to her in-laws house and I hope you’ll luckily see him there. But remember, don’t show all your cards on the table just yet. This is still the stage where you’re curious, you’re seeing potential, you’re gaining interest. It cannot be more than that unless he also shows the same signals. And by then when everything seems mutual, go with the flow, and let time do it’s thing. If he is THE one, then he is the one. But if he isn’t, that’s alright either.

Love is love, you’ll be risking a lot. Especially speaking about marriage, you’re a woman that knows what she wants, and that includes finding potential in a man you’ll be destined to spend your whole life with. And that alone, is a decision you must not rush, but also a decision you must mindfully make. If he is perfect, if he is THE one, don’t let him go 💞

But again a friendly reminder, let time do it’s thing. Everything won’t be perfect at first, it may hurt, or it may make you the happiest woman in the world. That’s what you should expect with Love. Love is no joke, but if you’re already expecting for the biggest step in any romantic relationship, which is marriage — it is a lifetime promise.
Hopefully, if time and destiny is generous and if this potential man IS THE ONE, you already know what to do. 💕 hope this helps girlie. 😊