Going forward after an emotionally abuse relationship Watch

Anonymous #1
#1
Report Thread starter 3 months ago
#1
So I was with a guy for 6 months and it was very toxic and I’ve ended things but I feel so hurt. I’m crying now because he was extremely jealous, controlling and worse of all emotionally abusive.

I don’t know how to truly go forward because I’m ashamed to talk to anybody about it. I can’t believe I stay so long and hurt myself in the process. People always say I’m too nice and need to be more aggressive but that’s just isn’t me.

Why are some people so heartless and unkind?
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SteveRogerzzz
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#2
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(Original post by Anonymous)
So I was with a guy for 6 months and it was very toxic and I’ve ended things but I feel so hurt. I’m crying now because he was extremely jealous, controlling and worse of all emotionally abusive.

I don’t know how to truly go forward because I’m ashamed to talk to anybody about it. I can’t believe I stay so long and hurt myself in the process. People always say I’m too nice and need to be more aggressive but that’s just isn’t me.

Why are some people so heartless and unkind?
lol. Same situation. You can PM me and we can chat. I am from the UK btw 😊

have a nice weekend!
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josejobs
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(Original post by Anonymous)
So I was with a guy for 6 months and it was very toxic and I’ve ended things but I feel so hurt. I’m crying now because he was extremely jealous, controlling and worse of all emotionally abusive.

I don’t know how to truly go forward because I’m ashamed to talk to anybody about it. I can’t believe I stay so long and hurt myself in the process. People always say I’m too nice and need to be more aggressive but that’s just isn’t me.

Why are some people so heartless and unkind?
PM me and we can chat
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oglez92
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(Original post by Anonymous)
So I was with a guy for 6 months and it was very toxic and I’ve ended things but I feel so hurt. I’m crying now because he was extremely jealous, controlling and worse of all emotionally abusive.

I don’t know how to truly go forward because I’m ashamed to talk to anybody about it. I can’t believe I stay so long and hurt myself in the process. People always say I’m too nice and need to be more aggressive but that’s just isn’t me.

Why are some people so heartless and unkind?
I come out of a controlling relationship about a month ago. Perhaps talking to someone anonymous or a stranger can help you. Feel free to PM me if you wish.

I guess with my ex, I was constantly putting her needs above my own. I really wanted to feel loved and she was the only one who ever did. I was scared of losing her and did everything and anything to keep her there. Sadly, she knew that, and was able to use that against me. I only realised after we broke up and I spoke to my friends at length about it.
I was pretty much a taxi service to her. I cooked her always and other things. She was having her needs met but didn't care about mine.
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DrawTheLine
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(Original post by Anonymous)
So I was with a guy for 6 months and it was very toxic and I’ve ended things but I feel so hurt. I’m crying now because he was extremely jealous, controlling and worse of all emotionally abusive.

I don’t know how to truly go forward because I’m ashamed to talk to anybody about it. I can’t believe I stay so long and hurt myself in the process. People always say I’m too nice and need to be more aggressive but that’s just isn’t me.

Why are some people so heartless and unkind?
Try writing all your feelings down. Get a notebook and just write and write and write until you've gotten everything out. That helps me feel better when I feel overwhelmed with mixed emotions. Please don't be ashamed about this, it wasn't your fault he was abusive. Please speak to someone as well, a close friend or family member you trust. They won't judge you.
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by DrawTheLine)
Try writing all your feelings down. Get a notebook and just write and write and write until you've gotten everything out. That helps me feel better when I feel overwhelmed with mixed emotions. Please don't be ashamed about this, it wasn't your fault he was abusive. Please speak to someone as well, a close friend or family member you trust. They won't judge you.
I do write down my feelings, and it has helped me in leaving him. However, I told one friend about it and he made it seem as if it’s was my fault for being too soft (and he warned me early on that my ex was too jealous and he was right).
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DrawTheLine
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(Original post by Anonymous)
I do write down my feelings, and it has helped me in leaving him. However, I told one friend about it and he made it seem as if it’s was my fault for being too soft (and he warned me early on that my ex was too jealous and he was right).
That really sucks, Sounds like you need better friends! Keep writing it down because it'll help you move on too.
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by DrawTheLine)
That really sucks, Sounds like you need better friends! Keep writing it down because it'll help you move on too.
I know we’ll need to find better friends. I’m still writing everything down but my only issue is that I’m sleeping uneasy because it’s constantly on my mind. I’ve accepted what has happened but I just want to move on and at night I feel restless because it’s constantly on my mind a lot.
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Spanx
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(Original post by Anonymous)
So I was with a guy for 6 months and it was very toxic and I’ve ended things but I feel so hurt. I’m crying now because he was extremely jealous, controlling and worse of all emotionally abusive.

I don’t know how to truly go forward because I’m ashamed to talk to anybody about it. I can’t believe I stay so long and hurt myself in the process. People always say I’m too nice and need to be more aggressive but that’s just isn’t me.

Why are some people so heartless and unkind?
Life lesson, at least you know and stop it from happening again.
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by Spanx)
Life lesson, at least you know and stop it from happening again.
It’s indeed a life lesson, know eventhough I choose to walk away I feel hurt the most. He used to tell me that I’m so beautiful and now if any guy tells me I’m beautiful I’m instantly put off.

It’s strange sometimes things happen in life without any explanation or meaning behind. But I do feel relief that’s it’s over. I’m just want to sleep.
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Spanx
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(Original post by Anonymous)
It’s indeed a life lesson, know eventhough I choose to walk away I feel hurt the most. He used to tell me that I’m so beautiful and now if any guy tells me I’m beautiful I’m instantly put off.

It’s strange sometimes things happen in life without any explanation or meaning behind. But I do feel relief that’s it’s over. I’m just want to sleep.
Well join the club, all I want to do is sleep.



You should, it helps the brain/mind recover and process.
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oglez92
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(Original post by Anonymous)
So I was with a guy for 6 months and it was very toxic and I’ve ended things but I feel so hurt. I’m crying now because he was extremely jealous, controlling and worse of all emotionally abusive.

I don’t know how to truly go forward because I’m ashamed to talk to anybody about it. I can’t believe I stay so long and hurt myself in the process. People always say I’m too nice and need to be more aggressive but that’s just isn’t me.

Why are some people so heartless and unkind?
Well done for ending it! Walking away can be very difficult. You will come out stronger. You'll be able to recognise the warning signs early in a future relationship.
I look back on my previous relationship and wonder why I stayed so long. We never see things rationally when we're in love
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Ellaroselilly01
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(Original post by Anonymous)
So I was with a guy for 6 months and it was very toxic and I’ve ended things but I feel so hurt. I’m crying now because he was extremely jealous, controlling and worse of all emotionally abusive.

I don’t know how to truly go forward because I’m ashamed to talk to anybody about it. I can’t believe I stay so long and hurt myself in the process. People always say I’m too nice and need to be more aggressive but that’s just isn’t me.

Why are some people so heartless and unkind?
Hey, I am in the exact same situation, I was also with him for 6months and it's been 1 month since we broke up. My ex had an extremley traumatic childhood which is why he's how he is but I'd reached my limit after months of him being angry, starting arguments, controlling and minipulating me then I ended the relationship and he accused me of cheating and calling me dirty! These people are cruel without realising and once they lose control of you they become worse. I am slowly recovering and feel tons better than I did a couple weeks back. I have taken time for myself, made sure I haven't thought about it too much. Constantly thinking about it just makes you feel terrible. It's hard to accept that that's how some people are and they won't change for anyone and it's not your fault. Me and you are brave enough for leaving I left him and I cried for days and weeks as if he had ended it. Just because they treated you bad does not make you miss them any less which is really hard to accept. Coming out of a relationship like this is also harder to overcome, I'm going to talk to my college relationship counsellor- I am not sure if you are able to do something like that? You can talk to me about it I am more than happy to be a support or tell you about my experience. So many people are going through it or have been through it-more than you realise. Also there's a few songs I would recommend to help you feel better lol also time will feel really slow and traumatic at this point but that's ok-reflect on yourself each week. Sending love xx
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Anonymous #1
#14
Report Thread starter 5 days ago
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(Original post by Ellaroselilly01)
Hey, I am in the exact same situation, I was also with him for 6months and it's been 1 month since we broke up. My ex had an extremley traumatic childhood which is why he's how he is but I'd reached my limit after months of him being angry, starting arguments, controlling and minipulating me then I ended the relationship and he accused me of cheating and calling me dirty! These people are cruel without realising and once they lose control of you they become worse. I am slowly recovering and feel tons better than I did a couple weeks back. I have taken time for myself, made sure I haven't thought about it too much. Constantly thinking about it just makes you feel terrible. It's hard to accept that that's how some people are and they won't change for anyone and it's not your fault. Me and you are brave enough for leaving I left him and I cried for days and weeks as if he had ended it. Just because they treated you bad does not make you miss them any less which is really hard to accept. Coming out of a relationship like this is also harder to overcome, I'm going to talk to my college relationship counsellor- I am not sure if you are able to do something like that? You can talk to me about it I am more than happy to be a support or tell you about my experience. So many people are going through it or have been through it-more than you realise. Also there's a few songs I would recommend to help you feel better lol also time will feel really slow and traumatic at this point but that's ok-reflect on yourself each week. Sending love xx
Thank you for your encouraging words. I’m over it now, the only issue that I have is getting back to myself I’ve kinda accepted I will never be the person I was before I met him. I’ve changed in so many ways I find the idea of dating off putting and I even feel physically sick when I think about the idea of sex. Surprisingly I don’t feel afraid of dating but I appreciate being single and most of all being “me”. Is that odd? Maybe I’m not ready, but I don’t know if I never date again I’ll be happy regardless (once upon a time I could never do this) this entire ordeal as made me really love and appreciate the feeling of being free.
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Ellaroselilly01
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It's so strange everything you write I relate to lol, I'm over it now too and I am honestly the happiest I have ever been! I too see myself as a different person, now when I look back I get annoyed that I was so helpless and vulnerable but now i feel like I could take on anything, Iv'e realised my self worth and learnt from it-feels so good! It is a weird free feeling after a while because you notice the toll that the relationship was having on you mentally and physically and now you're free and onto better things and better people that you deserve! I am starting to meet old friends, joining clubs I've always wanted to join and taken more opportunities It's amazing you'd be happy single! It's also a pretty content feeling when you no longer feel like you have to prove something to them or find out anything, you just know that you're good and SO much better without them. I am so glad to hear you feel like this yayyyyy



(Original post by Anonymous)
Thank you for your encouraging words. I’m over it now, the only issue that I have is getting back to myself I’ve kinda accepted I will never be the person I was before I met him. I’ve changed in so many ways I find the idea of dating off putting and I even feel physically sick when I think about the idea of sex. Surprisingly I don’t feel afraid of dating but I appreciate being single and most of all being “me”. Is that odd? Maybe I’m not ready, but I don’t know if I never date again I’ll be happy regardless (once upon a time I could never do this) this entire ordeal as made me really love and appreciate the feeling of being free.
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