No friends at uni and home. I feel so lonely. FINAL YEAR STUDENT Watch

Anonymous #1
#1
Report Thread starter 1 month ago
#1
Hello

My university has no active societies and I have some friends on my course, but I don’t feel close to any.

Most aren’t allowed out their home and I feel awful when I forget and ask them out. It’s difficult as I commute to uni and I feel so lonely.

I do have a job lined up close to home (lots of free time. So... I made the effort).

I’m worried things won’t change once I get a job. And frankly I’m very lonely now.

Ive got a job locally- part time. There not my age and they have their own families but I do talk to them.

I’m not sure what to do. I hate feeling this way.

My friends from college have moved on with their own friends and never want to hang out.

I feel like it’s just me. Something must be wrong with me as no one want someone to hang out.
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Anonymous #1
#2
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#2
*no one wants to hang out with me.

Sorry I’m not sure why “someone” is there
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ibotu020
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#3
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(Original post by Anonymous)
Hello

My university has no active societies and I have some friends on my course, but I don’t feel close to any.

Most aren’t allowed out their home and I feel awful when I forget and ask them out. It’s difficult as I commute to uni and I feel so lonely.

I do have a job lined up close to home (lots of free time. So... I made the effort).

I’m worried things won’t change once I get a job. And frankly I’m very lonely now.

Ive got a job locally- part time. There not my age and they have their own families but I do talk to them.

I’m not sure what to do. I hate feeling this way.

My friends from college have moved on with their own friends and never want to hang out.

I feel like it’s just me. Something must be wrong with me as no one want someone to hang out.
Hi there
Firstly there is nothing wrong you mate; this is not your fault neither is it your friends.
I feel like due to obstacles of them unable to freely go out, they are unable hang out with you as they would like to.Here’s the thing, rather than you asking them to go out why don’t you go offer yourself to visit their house and hang out there.With this being ur final year u can offer to do study groups at each person’s house or just simply hang out in the discretion of their guardians that they live there with.

On the terms of the amount of free time you have now, I advice it to you it to explore outside your uni. Since your uni don’t have active societies, it should be best to explore the town/city of your uni and go and find places that share your likes/hobbies as well as try to open to find new things to enjoy.This isn’t always easy to do, but I do believe it could help to encourage to be more sociable outside ur uni life,meet people who are within your age and above as well as to prepare for work life after uni.

I assure things will change for you.Loneliness will not just disappear quickly,it will take time to overcome it. I do hope that you will sooner or later.
If you ever need more advice or help or anything do talk to the members here; They will give u more experienced advice if needed be.
I hope you will do good wherever u go and good luck in your final year
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Anonymous #2
#4
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Ohh dude same, except im only first year.

Anyway, i commute and havent been able to make any really meaningful friendships, they're all just quick - how is it going, how have you been? etc, but no meaningful connections anywhere around me. My last real friends were in sixth form when i was 16-18, then when i went to college i stayed in contact with them for like another 6 months until our friendship ended. Since then i've had no true friendships. Casual people i've met at work and stuff like that yes, but nothing else. Its super depressing, i'm 21 now because after college i took a gap year, but am all alone. I know some- what i call, positive acquaintances- where we kind of know each other and catch up or sometimes share a text, but no real friends. And it has been so long i barely even know what freindships are like

Its depressing as fu** honestly. The only people i have somewhat meaningful conversations with are my family, but even then i barely speak with my bro, my dad is an ass and i like to avoid him, and i have my mum with whom the relationship is kind of mixed. Its a lot better now, but i cannot open up to her about deep emotions and stresses because she doesnt understand them, or maybe she's like emotionally dead or something idk.

I fantasise about meeting people and hitting it off so well that we become friends for life, but its hard when you're always on the go, introverted as hell and dont even drink (due to alcoholism around my childhood). I try to stay hopeful and what not but at this point i find it hard to believe anything will change. Before uni, i thought uni would be how i find myself and my great friend group, but now i'm here all alone as usual. Next thing i know i will be graduating nothing but a diploma. Then i will be in postgrad studies expecting to find my people there because it will be a smaller and tighter group, but ill be alone in the end anyway. Then i will get a job and be alone yet again. I try to not do the whole "self fulfilling prophecy" thing, but at the same time, hoping for anything else is just delusional.

i know this doesnt help at all, but maybe it'll help by letting you know that you're not alone.
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Anonymous #1
#5
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(Original post by Anonymous)
Ohh dude same, except im only first year.

Anyway, i commute and havent been able to make any really meaningful friendships, they're all just quick - how is it going, how have you been? etc, but no meaningful connections anywhere around me. My last real friends were in sixth form when i was 16-18, then when i went to college i stayed in contact with them for like another 6 months until our friendship ended. Since then i've had no true friendships. Casual people i've met at work and stuff like that yes, but nothing else. Its super depressing, i'm 21 now because after college i took a gap year, but am all alone. I know some- what i call, positive acquaintances- where we kind of know each other and catch up or sometimes share a text, but no real friends. And it has been so long i barely even know what freindships are like

Its depressing as fu** honestly. The only people i have somewhat meaningful conversations with are my family, but even then i barely speak with my bro, my dad is an ass and i like to avoid him, and i have my mum with whom the relationship is kind of mixed. Its a lot better now, but i cannot open up to her about deep emotions and stresses because she doesnt understand them, or maybe she's like emotionally dead or something idk.

I fantasise about meeting people and hitting it off so well that we become friends for life, but its hard when you're always on the go, introverted as hell and dont even drink (due to alcoholism around my childhood). I try to stay hopeful and what not but at this point i find it hard to believe anything will change. Before uni, i thought uni would be how i find myself and my great friend group, but now i'm here all alone as usual. Next thing i know i will be graduating nothing but a diploma. Then i will be in postgrad studies expecting to find my people there because it will be a smaller and tighter group, but ill be alone in the end anyway. Then i will get a job and be alone yet again. I try to not do the whole "self fulfilling prophecy" thing, but at the same time, hoping for anything else is just delusional.

i know this doesnt help at all, but maybe it'll help by letting you know that you're not alone.
I’m never invited to their homes and I don’t want to ask them in case they other reasons- which seems likely.

Ive always just felt alone, and I commute from home.

i have looked up social club groups near me, but I do feel very awkward at the thought of turning up.

It’s just sometimes my lonelyness gets unbearable. It’s nothing new.

Thank you for your reply. It did help.
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Anonymous #1
#6
Report Thread starter 1 month ago
#6
(Original post by Anonymous)
Ohh dude same, except im only first year.

Anyway, i commute and havent been able to make any really meaningful friendships, they're all just quick - how is it going, how have you been? etc, but no meaningful connections anywhere around me. My last real friends were in sixth form when i was 16-18, then when i went to college i stayed in contact with them for like another 6 months until our friendship ended. Since then i've had no true friendships. Casual people i've met at work and stuff like that yes, but nothing else. Its super depressing, i'm 21 now because after college i took a gap year, but am all alone. I know some- what i call, positive acquaintances- where we kind of know each other and catch up or sometimes share a text, but no real friends. And it has been so long i barely even know what freindships are like

Its depressing as fu** honestly. The only people i have somewhat meaningful conversations with are my family, but even then i barely speak with my bro, my dad is an ass and i like to avoid him, and i have my mum with whom the relationship is kind of mixed. Its a lot better now, but i cannot open up to her about deep emotions and stresses because she doesnt understand them, or maybe she's like emotionally dead or something idk.

I fantasise about meeting people and hitting it off so well that we become friends for life, but its hard when you're always on the go, introverted as hell and dont even drink (due to alcoholism around my childhood). I try to stay hopeful and what not but at this point i find it hard to believe anything will change. Before uni, i thought uni would be how i find myself and my great friend group, but now i'm here all alone as usual. Next thing i know i will be graduating nothing but a diploma. Then i will be in postgrad studies expecting to find my people there because it will be a smaller and tighter group, but ill be alone in the end anyway. Then i will get a job and be alone yet again. I try to not do the whole "self fulfilling prophecy" thing, but at the same time, hoping for anything else is just delusional.

i know this doesnt help at all, but maybe it'll help by letting you know that you're not alone.
I fantasise about meeting new people and making friends too! I will litterally day dream about it and then dream at night about it.
its quite sad...

i honestly do think something’s wrong with me, I’m awkward but not too shy. I do talk to people and make an effort. Maybe I’m too loud... Or I come across crazy.

Im not sure, I have tried google.
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fideo94
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#7
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(Original post by Anonymous)
Hello

My university has no active societies and I have some friends on my course, but I don’t feel close to any.

Most aren’t allowed out their home and I feel awful when I forget and ask them out. It’s difficult as I commute to uni and I feel so lonely.

I do have a job lined up close to home (lots of free time. So... I made the effort).

I’m worried things won’t change once I get a job. And frankly I’m very lonely now.

Ive got a job locally- part time. There not my age and they have their own families but I do talk to them.

I’m not sure what to do. I hate feeling this way.

My friends from college have moved on with their own friends and never want to hang out.

I feel like it’s just me. Something must be wrong with me as no one want someone to hang out.
i totally understand how you feel.. are you a shy person?
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by fideo94)
i totally understand how you feel.. are you a shy person?
I am kind of an inbetween.

im shy if lots of people are around not so much if I know them or there’s one person.

If that makes sense
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Esi101
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🥺it’s going to be my first year of university this year and and I’m already having panic attacks because I feel like I’m going to end up depressed and alone
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Anonymous #3
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Where is everyone based?
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Esi101
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West Midlands - London
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Anonymous #1
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Funnily- London. Lots of people right? :confused:
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by Esi101)
🥺it’s going to be my first year of university this year and and I’m already having panic attacks because I feel like I’m going to end up depressed and alone
Don’t worry.

ive never felt not lonely. That’s just me.

it may be very different for you!
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Esi101
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I guess
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Anonymous #3
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Me too. London
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Esi101
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(Original post by Anonymous)
Don’t worry.

ive never felt not lonely. That’s just me.

it may be very different for you!
Welp I can relate to u more than u think
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majordarkruler
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(Original post by ibotu020)
Hi there
Firstly there is nothing wrong you mate; this is not your fault neither is it your friends.
I feel like due to obstacles of them unable to freely go out, they are unable hang out with you as they would like to.Here’s the thing, rather than you asking them to go out why don’t you go offer yourself to visit their house and hang out there.With this being ur final year u can offer to do study groups at each person’s house or just simply hang out in the discretion of their guardians that they live there with.

On the terms of the amount of free time you have now, I advice it to you it to explore outside your uni. Since your uni don’t have active societies, it should be best to explore the town/city of your uni and go and find places that share your likes/hobbies as well as try to open to find new things to enjoy.This isn’t always easy to do, but I do believe it could help to encourage to be more sociable outside ur uni life,meet people who are within your age and above as well as to prepare for work life after uni.

I assure things will change for you.Loneliness will not just disappear quickly,it will take time to overcome it. I do hope that you will sooner or later.
If you ever need more advice or help or anything do talk to the members here; They will give u more experienced advice if needed be.
I hope you will do good wherever u go and good luck in your final year
Loneliness is a realism, among family, among friends and among university mates. Sometimes, something else can fill that. An interest in something sublime, a trip to the museum, the guy at the local shop that chats to you. saving for a weekend on a bus tour (maybe you'll meet a companion for the weekend) .... You can venture out on your own and sometimes receive, special company, even if for a moment. Just a couple off ideas, if you want to explore to fill the gap. Good luck
Last edited by majordarkruler; 1 month ago
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majordarkruler
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(Original post by Anonymous)
Funnily- London. Lots of people right? :confused:
Sure, but London has a bad reputation overseas, particularly inn regards towards being socially aware of other people in 'friendliness' , sad as it is
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by majordarkruler)
Sure, but London has a bad reputation overseas, particularly inn regards towards being socially aware of other people in 'friendliness' , sad as it is
Yes I mm aware I’ve lived all my life in London
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majordarkruler
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There is always a place, where everyone is as important as the next and small gestures are comforting. Many of them, maybe in the place you are there are going to be people in an adventure, a silly quilting class a irrelevant tour. There will be some.
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