How to make friends when you're feeling down? Watch

velvethopes
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#1
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I'm at uni, and I've made a few friends, however my friendships seem to be nowhere as close as other peoples', as I'm still establishing these friendships and getting to know them because I find it very difficult to maintain friendships due to, a lot of the time, finding it difficult to make myself be social even though I want to be.

Even my flatmates. I've become so exhausted from forcing myself to be social that I've stopped trying and drifted off and avoid everyone so I don't get in their way or dampen their moods when I'm zombie-ing around the flat. But I really like these people! I really want to be closer with them and have fun with them but lately it's very rare I feel like I'd be up for it so I seem to have ruined the friendships I had with them.

I've spoken to doctors and counsellors over the years for my depression but I stopped trying a year-ish ago so I'm considering going back to the doctors now I'm in a different city and different gp's.

But that could take a while to come to fruition or for anything beneficial to come out of it, so for the meantime I just wanna keep trying to make friends. It's been so long that I've managed to make a solid friend (we're talking years here) that I've forgotten how to do it, as daft as that may sound.

So does anyone have any tips for making friends/strengthening friendships, whether feeling down or not?

Thank you
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Rhythmical
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(Original post by velvethopes)
I'm at uni, and I've made a few friends, however my friendships seem to be nowhere as close as other peoples', as I'm still establishing these friendships and getting to know them because I find it very difficult to maintain friendships due to, a lot of the time, finding it difficult to make myself be social even though I want to be.

Even my flatmates. I've become so exhausted from forcing myself to be social that I've stopped trying and drifted off and avoid everyone so I don't get in their way or dampen their moods when I'm zombie-ing around the flat. But I really like these people! I really want to be closer with them and have fun with them but lately it's very rare I feel like I'd be up for it so I seem to have ruined the friendships I had with them.

I've spoken to doctors and counsellors over the years for my depression but I stopped trying a year-ish ago so I'm considering going back to the doctors now I'm in a different city and different gp's.

But that could take a while to come to fruition or for anything beneficial to come out of it, so for the meantime I just wanna keep trying to make friends. It's been so long that I've managed to make a solid friend (we're talking years here) that I've forgotten how to do it, as daft as that may sound.

So does anyone have any tips for making friends/strengthening friendships, whether feeling down or not?

Thank you
There's no formula for making friends or establishing closeness with friends, I think it is all about spending time with them and maintaining contact yes, but also really trying to strengthen the relationship by not letting things become stagnant. Offer to get lunch or meet up after lectures/seminars etc or on the weekend. It really does take time and although people claim to have found their best friends at university by November, it is really different for everyone and you could even be meeting new people every year. Sometimes it will take time, but just try to make sure you have a relationship outside of uni, be it going or or whatever and see where things go. It is still so early, some of our friendships at home probably took longer than university ones.
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velvethopes
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(Original post by Rhythmical)
There's no formula for making friends or establishing closeness with friends, I think it is all about spending time with them and maintaining contact yes, but also really trying to strengthen the relationship by not letting things become stagnant. Offer to get lunch or meet up after lectures/seminars etc or on the weekend. It really does take time and although people claim to have found their best friends at university by November, it is really different for everyone and you could even be meeting new people every year. Sometimes it will take time, but just try to make sure you have a relationship outside of uni, be it going or or whatever and see where things go. It is still so early, some of our friendships at home probably took longer than university ones.
Thank you for the advice, I'll keep it in mind over the next few weeks and see how it goes!
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