my boyfriend wants us to wait two months because of his exams.. Watch

Anonymous #1
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my boyfriends wants to put our relationship on hold for 2 or 3 months and calls it a ‘break’. i’m really not sure how to feel about this. honestly, i’m not happy with the situation nor do i agree with it- but i respect his decision. he decided to do this as he has exams coming up and wants to do well on them, and the relationship is too stressful for him. i am willing to wait two months but what happens when he falls out of love with me. he has reassured me that this will not happen but i’m still worried. we have set rules on the ‘break’: no cheating, kissing or hooking up with other people and nothing which we know we wouldn’t do if the relationship was how it used to be. we have agreed that we can hug, nothing sexual for two months and maybe a quick peck a couple times won’t hurt anyone. we’ve not been saying many ‘i love you’’s or ‘i miss you’’s and that hurts. sexually, i’m not sure i’ll be able to cope and that sounds bad but it’s true. since i met him, i’m used to long kisses and necking when we’re both in the mood. i like pleasing him too. but i just want advice in the whole situation. i understand where he’s coming from but i just want to know how to act. we both do love each other and want each other, but i want him to do amazing in his exams. :/
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Neilos
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It's a relationship, not a business arrangement.

You'll both end up more stressed by consciously not being in a relationship than you would be just being normal but perhaps seeing each other a tiny bit less.
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lucymayturner
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From experience I think you know deep down what you expect/ want to happen here. My boyfriend (ex now) did the same last year. We ended up having an amazing summer together but 5 days into uni he cheated on me and is now with that girl in a relationship! So, I think to save pain, end it now and allow yourself time to yourself or to find someone who is willing to put effort into your relationship and you . The real world outside of exams is hard and so he has a lot to learn if he thinks a relationship now is hard to manage. You deserve someone who makes you feel wanted.
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officialmay
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if he thinks your relationship is too 'stressful' and impacts on his focus on exams, clearly this relationship is at a tipping point. I don't know how your relationship is, but I'm pretty sure dating/relationships are based on liking each other and leaning on each other at all situations be it good or bad. It doesn't have to be that you guys put a 'break' to this relationship in order to get on with exams. Dating is just enjoying each other's company with the official status of being allowed to get intimate, and sure if he doesn't want to get intimate it sounds okay, but putting an official barrier doesn't seem cool.

That's just what I think, you should think it over on the basis of how strong your relationship is and how it has been for the past weeks.
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Johndoeskitty
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What exactly is a relationship? Is it not two people who love each other and therefore want to make some sort of commitment to each other?

If relationships are such a burden, then what is the point of relationships existing in the first place?

The point is, relationships are not meant to be seen as some kind of burden. Good ones are meant to actually benefit your life, not hinder it. If he just feels like he doesn't have time to see you for a couple of months then you can still stay together but just call each other or something similar. Whenever I had exams and needed to study, but I was in a relationship, I would simply occasionally study in the same room as my boyfriend while he did other things instead of going out on dates with him. Regardless of exams everyone needs to eat dinner right? So what's the difference if you just eat dinner with your partner then go back and study? Seriously it sounds like bullsh*t to me, because I have never heard of someone taking a break from a relationship just because of some exams.

I'd rethink about waiting around for this dude. TBH if I were you I'd tell him good luck on his exams and go date someone else.
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doodle_333
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Why is it so stressful? A relationship should be overall more positive than negative.
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fideo94
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(Original post by Anonymous)
my boyfriends wants to put our relationship on hold for 2 or 3 months and calls it a ‘break’. i’m really not sure how to feel about this. honestly, i’m not happy with the situation nor do i agree with it- but i respect his decision. he decided to do this as he has exams coming up and wants to do well on them, and the relationship is too stressful for him. i am willing to wait two months but what happens when he falls out of love with me. he has reassured me that this will not happen but i’m still worried. we have set rules on the ‘break’: no cheating, kissing or hooking up with other people and nothing which we know we wouldn’t do if the relationship was how it used to be. we have agreed that we can hug, nothing sexual for two months and maybe a quick peck a couple times won’t hurt anyone. we’ve not been saying many ‘i love you’’s or ‘i miss you’’s and that hurts. sexually, i’m not sure i’ll be able to cope and that sounds bad but it’s true. since i met him, i’m used to long kisses and necking when we’re both in the mood. i like pleasing him too. but i just want advice in the whole situation. i understand where he’s coming from but i just want to know how to act. we both do love each other and want each other, but i want him to do amazing in his exams. :/
your boyfriend is looking for a shortcut out of the relationship.. he's tired of it.. sad truth
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ebam_uk
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Also, imagine someone said they want to put off their relationship til they are retired... it doesn't work like that..
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Anonymous #2
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I'm honestly surprised you're sort-of ok with this? This is a really immature idea and not normal. Couples go on breaks when they have issues with their relationship, and the vast majority of the time they will never get back together. Having a break because of exam stress is pretty ridiculous -- it's a time when couples can support each other the most.

Maybe you're saying yes too often to your boyfriend? He's either using this as an excuse to break up or he's a complete moron who's coming up with crazier and crazier ideas because nobody is telling him how irrational he's being and just going along with whatever he says.
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Anonymous #3
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He is definitely cheating
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by Neilos)
It's a relationship, not a business arrangement.

You'll both end up more stressed by consciously not being in a relationship than you would be just being normal but perhaps seeing each other a tiny bit less.
we see each other barely anyway, but i guess i just feel like we might become distant?
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by Johndoeskitty)
What exactly is a relationship? Is it not two people who love each other and therefore want to make some sort of commitment to each other?

If relationships are such a burden, then what is the point of relationships existing in the first place?

The point is, relationships are not meant to be seen as some kind of burden. Good ones are meant to actually benefit your life, not hinder it. If he just feels like he doesn't have time to see you for a couple of months then you can still stay together but just call each other or something similar. Whenever I had exams and needed to study, but I was in a relationship, I would simply occasionally study in the same room as my boyfriend while he did other things instead of going out on dates with him. Regardless of exams everyone needs to eat dinner right? So what's the difference if you just eat dinner with your partner then go back and study? Seriously it sounds like bullsh*t to me, because I have never heard of someone taking a break from a relationship just because of some exams.

I'd rethink about waiting around for this dude. TBH if I were you I'd tell him good luck on his exams and go date someone else.
it’s hard to just forget someone like that though, you get me? before the ‘breaK’ we had so so many arguments but always managed to work them out. i think that’s why he wanted to go on a break ehy he thought the relatiknship was stressful but there’s that sense of fear there.
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by doodle_333)
Why is it so stressful? A relationship should be overall more positive than negative.
it’s all the arguments. when we have good days, we REALLY have good days. like they’re amazing. but then comes along the bad days, we argue and they last forever. most of it is about significant things and just small petty issues but they get brought up because we’re both insecure and worried about everything
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by fideo94)
your boyfriend is looking for a shortcut out of the relationship.. he's tired of it.. sad truth
he says that, after the two months he wants to be with me. i don’t feel as though he is keeping me on a string or anything. i believe that he does genuinely love me and wants to be with me, but he just wants to focus on exams and put out relationship second, or at least make sure it’s not the number one priority. i’m just not sure what to do about it like am i being TOO nice or?
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fideo94
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(Original post by Anonymous)
he says that, after the two months he wants to be with me. i don’t feel as though he is keeping me on a string or anything. i believe that he does genuinely love me and wants to be with me, but he just wants to focus on exams and put out relationship second, or at least make sure it’s not the number one priority. i’m just not sure what to do about it like am i being TOO nice or?
follow your heart. whether you regret it or love it.. its all your decision.
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BlackPeopleGood
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(Original post by lucymayturner)
From experience I think you know deep down what you expect/ want to happen here. My boyfriend (ex now) did the same last year. We ended up having an amazing summer together but 5 days into uni he cheated on me and is now with that girl in a relationship! So, I think to save pain, end it now and allow yourself time to yourself or to find someone who is willing to put effort into your relationship and you . The real world outside of exams is hard and so he has a lot to learn if he thinks a relationship now is hard to manage. You deserve someone who makes you feel wanted.
Surely ending it is unfair on the boy if he genuinely likes her
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cherlloydfan
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I don't think that it's a bad thing for him to want to concentrate on his exams, well it's up to you if you want to wait for him or not. I would if I really liked someone
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fideo94
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(Original post by cherlloydfan)
I don't think that it's a bad thing for him to want to concentrate on his exams, well it's up to you if you want to wait for him or not. I would if I really liked someone
i agree.

btw.. what are cherrlloyds best songs.. my fav is turn my swag on
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cherlloydfan
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(Original post by fideo94)
i agree.

btw.. what are cherrlloyds best songs.. my fav is turn my swag on
lol, I like want u back, with ur love, sirens and human
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fideo94
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(Original post by cherlloydfan)
lol, I like want u back, with ur love, sirens and human
thanks fam
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