The Student Room Group
Uni students - Complete our survey >>
Uni students - Complete our survey >>
Uni students - Complete our survey >>

Why Does He Blackmail And Call Me?

Hi, I’m not sure how this works but I’m really confused and need help😭

My boyfriend of 2 years recently started to call me names, he calls me an ugly c*nt, puts me down, says no one will want me, says I have nothing, I’m useless. He black mails me saying he will go with other people, he will get someone better than me, he says I’m the ugliest of all he’s Exs and this isn’t even half of the names he calls me either. He left me alone on valentines night said he hated me! He says I make hes skin crawl, that every time he comes near me he can’t bare to touch me I make him feel sick. When all I do is try make him happy!
I try to cuddle him he pushes me away he pushes me out my own bedroom and shuts the door to.
Sometimes says he wishes I was dead and wishes I’d crawl up in a ball and die. I feel like I’m at my whits end I’m constantly crying, I feel like I’m not good enough no matter what I do.
Why won’t he just love me💔
It’s this emotional abuse? What should I do,
I still love him and I don’t know why😭😭😭!!
(edited 5 years ago)
Reply 1
Avatar for _Nyx_
_Nyx_
8
It is emotional abuse. And you should leave him. He has no excuse to treat you like dirt, and you should never allow a partner to treat you that way. Problem is, you probably already know that, yet can't make yourself give him up. That's why abusive relationships are like addictions. Can you imagine a better version of him? You can right? A kinder, more respectful version. If you can imagine him as a better version, then you don't love him, simply the man you wish him to be. You should be with a man who is already the best version of himself from your perspective. That is true love.

Think of yourself in the future. Do you want a lifetime of being bullied by this man? If you marry him, he would only get worse. If you had his children, worse still and they would suffer with you. If you cannot see a future with him - why let him bully you in the present? Sure, he makes you feel good sometimes. These type of people always have a mix of both aspects. You can take your mind off him by keeping it busy, the pain will lessen and you will begin to feel good that you put yourself first. Don't accept his mistreatment.
He does it because he is a horrible, bullying, controlling git.

Read this thread: https://www.thestudentroom.co.uk/showthread.php?t=4773096

You have done nothing wrong ciw1993xxx - apart from staying with him too long now.

Cut him out of your life completely. Tonight.

You will find far better men than him. Start you search for one tomorrow. And enjoy your new found freedom in the meantime.
Read your own post, but imagine one of your friends had written it, not you.

That might make it easier to remove him from your life.
Reply 4
Avatar for ciw1993xxx
ciw1993xxx
OP
2
I find it so hard to picture me moving on, I find it quite impossible to picture being wit someone else...
He makes me feel as if I can’t move on bcos I have ended up with only him, relying on him in so many ways...

We sleep in seperate rooms I walk in my main bedroom and he tells me to get out. Then you can guarantee the next morning he says ‘don’t talk to me you slept in the other room’ but he made me!!! He tells me I have to.
I need to get away but it’s easier said than done when you love someone, but I know it isn’t right the way I am being treated.

Sometimes he can be lovely tho that’s the confusing thing!! But tosses everything in my face, if he buys me something without me asking and we argue he goes ‘well I bought you that’ ‘I’ve took you there’

I’m just so low to have the confidence to move on
Read this and follow the links to get help now:
https://www.lwa.org.uk/understanding-abuse/abusive-relationships/emotional-and-psychological-abuse.htm#

This is a time for you to get as much help as you can. From helplines, relatives, friends, even your GP. But at the end of the day, it will be down to you to take the actual steps to leave him and get out of this abusive relationship.

If I were one of your real life friends, I would be giving you lots of genuine compliments to try to rebuild / maintain your self esteem to counter the onslaught that your self-esteem is suffering at the hands of your boyfriend.

And because I hate overbearing bullies so much I would take every opportunity to give him a dose of his own medicine by taking the mickey out of him relentlessly whenever I saw him.

Quick Reply

Related discussions

Latest

Trending

Trending

Articles for you