'Domestic abuse happens to men too' Watch

Burton Bridge
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#41
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(Original post by Just my opinion)
I remember from the Guardian a couple of years ago that 60% of DV sufferers are women and 40% are men, but in non reciprocal violence, where one partner gets hit but doesn't hit back, 70% of victims are men.
Whoever gets hit it's totally wrong.
The real disparity though is the places of safety for men and women to go to.
Men that stay with abusive women often do it because they know that if they leave their children will get the abuse.
There aren't enough places of safety for women but they massively out strip the number of places for men, and places that men can go to and take their children are all but unheard of.
Places men can go for safety are unheard of as well.

I know of two victims of DV one controlling and the other violent and both male, one wont admit. Excluding my partner whom was in a abusive relationship in the part who is female.

Speaking of the controlling one he is still on the relationship because of his children and trying to lie to himself and everyone around that it's just women you know what they are like, diva, high maintenance, etc. But in reality it stay with her or lose his children and home because the country gifts women the privilege of custody and the financial benefits from divorce.

The other has just recently had the courage to speak out about it, however being 6 foot and 18 stone unfortunately he was not taken seriously. Currently he is locked in a bitter divorce deal where he is fighting for... Wait for it .... A 50-50 financial split and joint custody.

As for me, I will never get married again, it was one of the things I told my lovely partner in the early stages of the relationship, who said romance is dead eh?
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iAngely
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#42
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(Original post by hannxm)
"Alex Skeel was repeatedly abused by his girlfriend Jordan Worth, who has become the first woman in the UK to be imprisoned for controlling and coercive behaviour.

He spoke to the BBC about the violence he suffered, and what he wants to be done."

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/av/uk-472...ens-to-men-too


I think this is such an important story. There needs to be more awareness about abuse against men and to reduce the stigma surrounding it. There is nothing to be embarrassed about and it doesn't make you any less of a man for being the victim of abuse. Guys need to be just as aware of abusive red flags in women, just like women are aware of them in men!
Male domestic abuse is used for laughs and that is truly worrying. There are many men out there who are victims of domestic abuse yet have nowhere to go, and no one to talk to, and then feminists try to discredit these claims due to lack of statistics, statistics that can't exist because no one is taking the issue seriously. I've heard some horrible stories about men who were victims of domestic abuse and couldn't do anything about their situation, couldn't even fight back, because their wives would take their kids away from them or lie to the police saying they were victims of sexual assault by their husbands if there was even one small mark on them. Women can be such vile creatures yet we are lead to believe that only men can be the abusive one in a relationship.
Last edited by iAngely; 3 weeks ago
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Bang Outta Order
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#43
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i know a guy who was depressed with mild autism who got pounded by his girl and then some. she'd scream at him, throw things, push him around, damage his stuff as a bribe, sell his stuff, really cruel vile girl. i didnt think nothing of it at the time like she'd torture him in front of us. he'd be helpless but i didnt think it was for real. just thought it was another couple arguing lol. then she got him beat up by thugs cos she lied on him to them...she isnt serving for "domestic abuse" but she did get done for assault lol. his mum got her arrested.

i say lol only because Im happy she got arrested btw. :rolleyes:
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Royal Oak
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#44
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(Original post by Bang Outta Order)
i know a guy who was depressed with mild autism who got pounded by his girl and then some. she'd scream at him, throw things, push him around, damage his stuff as a bribe, sell his stuff, really cruel vile girl. i didnt think nothing of it at the time like she'd torture him in front of us. he'd be helpless but i didnt think it was for real. just thought it was another couple arguing lol. then she got him beat up by thugs cos she lied on him to them...she isnt serving for "domestic abuse" but she did get done for assault lol. his mum got her arrested.
Please tell me you're joking about all this...
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Burton Bridge
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(Original post by Bang Outta Order)
i know a guy who was depressed with mild autism who got pounded by his girl and then some. she'd scream at him, throw things, push him around, damage his stuff as a bribe, sell his stuff, really cruel vile girl. i didnt think nothing of it at the time like she'd torture him in front of us. he'd be helpless but i didnt think it was for real. just thought it was another couple arguing lol. then she got him beat up by thugs cos she lied on him to them...she isnt serving for "domestic abuse" but she did get done for assault lol. his mum got her arrested.
Must be his fault somehow :littleangel:
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Bang Outta Order
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#46
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(Original post by Royal Oak)
Please tell me you're joking about all this...
no. joking that we sat and watched??? because we didnt realise how bad it was till she was arrested and he wrote a police report. the neighbours said enough was enough or something and rung the police so his mum finally made him.


we think she was dating him for money and bullied him for it all the time, as well as just getting off on it


(Original post by Burton Bridge)
Must be his fault somehow :littleangel:
what?? how is it my mate's fault, did you see me say he's autistic and depressed...she was clearly like taking advantage of him, come on. it was an awful dynamic between them.
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Royal Oak
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(Original post by Bang Outta Order)
no. joking that we sat and watched??? because we didnt realise how bad it was till she was arrested and he wrote a police report. the neighbours said enough was enough or something and rung the police so his mum finally made him.


we think she was dating him for money and bullied him for it all the time, as well as just getting off on it
And you though that was ok? If you thought what was going on was normal or at least didn't raise any suspicion then I despair for you.
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Bang Outta Order
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(Original post by Royal Oak)
And you though that was ok? If you thought what was going on was normal or at least didn't raise any suspicion then I despair for you.
What! I wasn't in their household 24/7 was I? Just got to see into their relationship on that odd single occasion when she was showing off for us at his expense, but I thought it was just another lover's tiff. You would have, too.
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Royal Oak
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#49
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(Original post by Bang Outta Order)
What! I wasn't in their household 24/7 was I? Just got to see into their relationship on that odd single occasion when she was showing off for us at his expense, but I thought it was just another lover's tiff. You would have, too.
" i didnt think nothing of it at the time like she'd torture him in front of us."

I don't think I would consider seeing my friend being 'tortured' or shown up in front of me as a lovers tiff. If you do, I question whether your stance on the behaviour people are allowed to exhibit in relationships is similar to hers.
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Bang Outta Order
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(Original post by Royal Oak)
" i didnt think nothing of it at the time like she'd torture him in front of us."

I don't think I would consider seeing my friend being 'tortured' or shown up in front of me as a lovers tiff. If you do, I question whether your stance on the behaviour people are allowed to exhibit in relationships is similar to hers.
ok. torment instead of torture. you're visualising him being whipped and chained or burnt with wax candles or something?!

just tormenting like yelling at him. as i said, a lover's tiff. my girl yells at me all the time. :indiff: how was i meant to know.

lol are you implying i'm an abuser...
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PureHeroine
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Im glad we're watching this documentary in registration. Its really good to understand these issues and take them seriously. I dont understand why anyone wouldn't tbh. Its heartbreaking and scary to see how manipulative abusers can be.
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Bang Outta Order
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and you know theres the thing where...your girl claps you on the head and you just take it cos you dont wanna hurt her? thought that's what was going on. apparently, when we left, she let him have it according to the police and his mum. but how would we have known. anyways. it's over. she's done for.
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Royal Oak
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#53
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(Original post by Bang Outta Order)
ok. torment instead of torture. you're visualising him being whipped and chained or burnt with wax candles or something?!

just tormenting like yelling at him. as i said, a lover's tiff. my girl yells at me all the time. :indiff: how was i meant to know.

lol are you implying i'm an abuser...
Nope, I'm imagining him being emotionally abused and humiliated in front of me. I assume if she had started beating him you would have done something but maybe not.

I'm not implying you are an abuser but if the behaviour she exibited didn't even make you raise an eyebrow, I'd probably be put off dating you because it would make me question if you think casual emotional abuse is ok for the bantz as long as you say sorry after.

But anyway, as long as your friend is away from that piece of trash, that's all that matters.
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Bang Outta Order
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(Original post by Royal Oak)
Nope, I'm imagining him being emotionally abused and humiliated in front of me. I assume if she had started beating him you would have done something but maybe not.

I'm not implying you are an abuser but if the behaviour she exibited didn't even make you raise an eyebrow, I'd probably be put off dating you because it would make me question if you think casual emotional abuse is ok for the bantz as long as you say sorry after.

But anyway, as long as your friend is away from that piece of trash, that's all that matters.
clearly it did stick out to me because i can recognise that uncomfortable moment in hindsight...and hindsight is really all i have. most abuse is behind closed doors but it's not like im scratching my head wondering what ever happened. i recognise now that he was abused, but not because he was being yelled at. the yelling was nothing compared to the other stuff so thats why i dont seem that bothered. but i was a witness, so...i was a good friend. i did what i could. i dont care if you dont wanna date me lol. thought you were a male the entire time anyways.
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Royal Oak
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(Original post by Bang Outta Order)
clearly it did stick out to me because i can recognise that uncomfortable moment in hindsight...and hindsight is really all i have. most abuse is behind closed doors but it's not like im scratching my head wondering what ever happened. i recognise now that he was abused, but not because he was being yelled at. the yelling was nothing compared to the other stuff so thats why i dont seem that bothered. but i was a witness, so...i was a good friend. i did what i could. i dont care if you dont wanna date me lol. thought you were a male the entire time anyways.
Ok then.
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Bang Outta Order
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omd...what now
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Burton Bridge
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(Original post by Bang Outta Order)
what?? how is it my mate's fault, did you see me say he's autistic and depressed...she was clearly like taking advantage of him, come on. it was an awful dynamic between them.
I was being sarcastic, it's the default stance of society.
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Burton Bridge
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(Original post by Royal Oak)
Nope, I'm imagining him being emotionally abused and humiliated in front of me. I assume if she had started beating him you would have done something but maybe not.

I'm not implying you are an abuser but if the behaviour she exibited didn't even make you raise an eyebrow, I'd probably be put off dating you because it would make me question if you think casual emotional abuse is ok for the bantz as long as you say sorry after.

But anyway, as long as your friend is away from that piece of trash, that's all that matters.
It doesn’t at all, it shows how inheritance for female privilege. I doubt anyone would of looked at this as 'bantz' as you put it if it were male abusing a female because of the absence of this privilege. Furthermore I'd bet in this circumstance the police would of took action against male abuser and protected the victiim which didn't happen because of prejudice towards males and a privilege towards females.
Last edited by Burton Bridge; 2 weeks ago
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Royal Oak
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(Original post by Burton Bridge)
It doesn’t at all, it shows how inheritance for female privilege. I doubt anyone would of looked at this as 'bantz' as you put it if it were male abusing a female because of the absence of this privilege. Furthermore I'd bet in this circumstance the police would of took action against male abuser and protected the victiim which didn't happen because of prejudice towards males and a privilege towards females.
Could you please rephrase what you just wrote? i don't know what you're replying to or what you're trying to say.
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Andrew97
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Anyone remember an episode on Friends, can’t remember the title. But the plot revolves around a girl that hit Joey (Matt Le Blanc). This was played for laughs, I can’t help at think that the reaction would have been very different if Joey was the one doing the hitting. Double standards.
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