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How can I hurt him less?

Okay so I have been with my bf for almost 2 years now and I genuinely love him so much, however I have felt for a long while that our relationship isn't right anymore, we have grown into different people, have different needs/levels of maturity etc.

I saw him this weekend and I basically did break up with him, but we then had a chat and I agreed to work things out, because I do still love him but also because I wasn't prepared for how upset he would be. I felt so awful and want things to be all happy, but deep down I am now realising they won't be. He says he has been distant with me these past few days as me breaking up with him did really knock his confidence even though we made up after and I just feel like too much damage has been done.

Is it so awful of me to break up with him again? I understand I will have to mean it this time and I know I've handled the situation really badly but what is the best way to soften the blow now. I really don't want to hurt him more than I already have.
There isn't a way to soften the blow - especially after what's already happened. It's one of those things you just have to get it over and done with.
Original post by Anonymous
Okay so I have been with my bf for almost 2 years now and I genuinely love him so much, however I have felt for a long while that our relationship isn't right anymore, we have grown into different people, have different needs/levels of maturity etc.

I saw him this weekend and I basically did break up with him, but we then had a chat and I agreed to work things out, because I do still love him but also because I wasn't prepared for how upset he would be. I felt so awful and want things to be all happy, but deep down I am now realising they won't be. He says he has been distant with me these past few days as me breaking up with him did really knock his confidence even though we made up after and I just feel like too much damage has been done.

Is it so awful of me to break up with him again? I understand I will have to mean it this time and I know I've handled the situation really badly but what is the best way to soften the blow now. I really don't want to hurt him more than I already have.


Break-ups are hard, they are never easy, but it's something that you have to do. You need to just be honest with him, explain why you're ending things and that you're growing apart as different people. There's no fault on your behalf, but sometimes people change and just because you were good together once doesn't necessarily mean the relationship will be good forever. As long as you're sure you're making the right decision, and this isn't something you're going to regret in a few months time.

Sure, he'll be upset, especially if he doesn't want the relationship to end. But sometimes life's hard. As long as you're both mature about the breakup, and continue to respect each other afterward everything will be okay. Time heals all wounds, and I'm sure you'll both be happier in the long-term :smile:

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