I wish I could just give up Watch
But I only feel like this on some bad days. I think I understand what you mean when you say it never really bothered you. Like we have a remarkable tolerance for being alone without drowning in loneliness or going insane. Even though I’m so alone, in general I feel fine most of the time.
I can’t know exactly how you feel or what helps you. For me I find that writing helps. When things get overwhelming, and I struggle to see a point or purpose of carrying on, I try to define exactly what it is that’s making me feel like this. Idk, when you write down exactly the things that are giving you anxieties they stop being so overwhelming big. And you realise there are plenty of things in this life that you enjoy and love. And there’s plenty of time to work on yourself. And you have the capacity to be much greater than you already are.
Force yourself to imagine yourself with a future. One where you are happy. It may feel out of reach now but work towards it step by step and you’ll get there before you know it. Don’t give up on yourself just yet 🙂
I am currently in my third and final year of university and my mental health is at an all time low. Despite the fact that I love my course I have made zero friends at this university and have been virtually alone since I started. I have made no happy memories while I have been here and every day I am reminded of that fact particularly as I am a finalist (yearbook stuff, post exam plans etc). I have always been extremely shy and introverted and have always found it hard to talk to/ connect with people. For a while it never really bothered me. I didn’t mind in the beginning that my weekends and evenings would be spent alone and that the only conversation I would really have with people would be about my course. However it has now gotten to the point where I have realised that I can no longer see myself having a future and that it would make things much easier if I just ended it.
I honestly think that the best thing you could do is try to speak to someone close to you about how you're feeling? Apart from that, you could speak to a therapist maybe? Trust me, i know how hard it is, and you might feel like it just wouldn't solve anything. I was in a similar situation, and i'm also a really closed person and not the kind of person who feels like it might benefit, but it really really helped me way more than i expected and i just think that you should definitely try it because you never know!
Not everyone loves uni (or school) and sometimes you feel like you just don't fit in somewhere, but that doesn't mean you don't fit in anywhere! it's so hard to see past the tricky times, but once you're past them you don't look back! I know how you feel about not seeing a future, but the thing is so many exciting things are waiting for you that you can't imagine right now. maybe a post-uni gap year might be a good idea? sometimes a completely different environment to shake you up (in a good way) helps you get back on track and gives you a bit of perspective.
best wishes, i really hope things get better for you and you feel better
but in reality its not at all. it might feel like that on freshers week, but it really is 3/4 years of hard work slogging it out everyday until the job is done. many of us socialise but what once or twice a week at best doing the same old stuff the same clubs etc and the rest is dull. i must of met about 200 ppl over 4 years and i only met 1 dude who seemed to have the time of his life but i always felt something was off about this dude. there is a quote that is similar to the happiest person is the loneliest or saddest. i reckon that would apply to him