guy kissed me and my (sort of) bf is mad. what do i do? Watch

Anonymous #1
#1
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around a month ago i got close with this guy from uni who's on my course. we haven't told anyone yet because we wanted to talk first and figure out where we stood: how we felt, where was this going, did we want this, but i really like him and he likes me. we dated for a few months towards the end of college but broke up when it looked like we were going to different unis miles away but we wound up together on this course. yesterday i arranged to meet him before my lecture in the cafe on campus. he texted saying he was going to be late. another guy from my course saw me waiting alone, came over and talked to me. i told him i was waiting for the first guy. we talked for a bit about the course and at some point, out of nowhere, he kissed me. i immediately shoved him off and told him not to do that again and when he pushed me for a reason i told him about the first guy - about how we hadn't put a label on it yet or told anyone, there was something happening between us and that was one of the (many) reasons i didn't want him to kiss me. the second guy stormed off and the first guy never showed, but he rang me later saying the second guy "told him everything", called me a few names and said that he knows we kissed. i tried to explain but he just said "save it" and hung up.
the first guy wasn't in class today and won't answer my phone calls/texts/any form of communication.
is there any way i can fix this?
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Ciel.
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#2
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(Original post by Anonymous)
around a month ago i got close with this guy from uni who's on my course. we haven't told anyone yet because we wanted to talk first and figure out where we stood: how we felt, where was this going, did we want this, but i really like him and he likes me. we dated for a few months towards the end of college but broke up when it looked like we were going to different unis miles away but we wound up together on this course. yesterday i arranged to meet him before my lecture in the cafe on campus. he texted saying he was going to be late. another guy from my course saw me waiting alone, came over and talked to me. i told him i was waiting for the first guy. we talked for a bit about the course and at some point, out of nowhere, he kissed me. i immediately shoved him off and told him not to do that again and when he pushed me for a reason i told him about the first guy - about how we hadn't put a label on it yet or told anyone, there was something happening between us and that was one of the (many) reasons i didn't want him to kiss me. the second guy stormed off and the first guy never showed, but he rang me later saying the second guy "told him everything", called me a few names and said that he knows we kissed. i tried to explain but he just said "save it" and hung up.
the first guy wasn't in class today and won't answer my phone calls/texts/any form of communication.
is there any way i can fix this?
Huh? That was obviously a non consensual kiss then. Tell him to get cctv footage from your uni if he doesn't believe you.
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londonmyst
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Report the loser who sexually assaulted you to the police and let him run off to tell the bf.
I suspect your bf set you up with a honeytrap not realizing that the other guy would take it as far as sexual assault.
Then when your bf contacts you and tells you he knows what happened- tell him to stop acting jealous of a sexual predator that the police are going to arrest.
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Anonymous #2
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I agree with londonmyst, he definitely set you up, the fact that he didn't even show up, and then called you and insulted you about it. You should report the second guy, that is sexual assault and he should not have done that to you. In my opinion, I'd say you should let the first guy go, he is not worth it and wanted an easy way out, making him a coward. Focus on your studies and distance yourself from him. He's only going to bring you trouble.
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by londonmyst)
Report the loser who sexually assaulted you to the police and let him run off to tell the bf.
I suspect your bf set you up with a honeytrap not realizing that the other guy would take it as far as sexual assault.
Then when your bf contacts you and tells you he knows what happened- tell him to stop acting jealous of a sexual predator that the police are going to arrest.
(Original post by Anonymous)
I agree with londonmyst, he definitely set you up, the fact that he didn't even show up, and then called you and insulted you about it. You should report the second guy, that is sexual assault and he should not have done that to you. In my opinion, I'd say you should let the first guy go, he is not worth it and wanted an easy way out, making him a coward. Focus on your studies and distance yourself from him. He's only going to bring you trouble.
I'm going to talk to some other women on the course. If he's done it to other women then it means he's a repeat offender and I'll go to the police but if it's just me then I'll tell campus security.
Me and bf(?) go the same route to uni and get the same train. Yesterday that train was only 2 carriages and I didn't see him on there and it's an hourly train. The girl he dated before me cheated so he's always been sensitive to that but the first time we dated we were together for about 4 months and it took some reassurance but generally he never worried that I would cheat on him. I know we were apart for about 6 months but nothing's really changed there. Neither of us has dated anyone else in the meantime and I have a similar thing about cheating - my ex before him played fast and loose with the term "monogamous".
Honestly, if I had to guess what happened here I'd say that because bf and this guy aren't friends but do know each other that the guy figured I'd tell bf what happened so he decided he should get there first and sell his version of the story before I had a chance, and when bf heard he just turned around and went home. I honestly don't think bf has it in him to set me up like that. Do yall really think he could have done that?
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mgi
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(Original post by Anonymous)
around a month ago i got close with this guy from uni who's on my course. we haven't told anyone yet because we wanted to talk first and figure out where we stood: how we felt, where was this going, did we want this, but i really like him and he likes me. we dated for a few months towards the end of college but broke up when it looked like we were going to different unis miles away but we wound up together on this course. yesterday i arranged to meet him before my lecture in the cafe on campus. he texted saying he was going to be late. another guy from my course saw me waiting alone, came over and talked to me. i told him i was waiting for the first guy. we talked for a bit about the course and at some point, out of nowhere, he kissed me. i immediately shoved him off and told him not to do that again and when he pushed me for a reason i told him about the first guy - about how we hadn't put a label on it yet or told anyone, there was something happening between us and that was one of the (many) reasons i didn't want him to kiss me. the second guy stormed off and the first guy never showed, but he rang me later saying the second guy "told him everything", called me a few names and said that he knows we kissed. i tried to explain but he just said "save it" and hung up.
the first guy wasn't in class today and won't answer my phone calls/texts/any form of communication.
is there any way i can fix this?
yes. dump them both. One is inappropriate and the other is a control freak.
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Anonymous #2
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(Original post by Anonymous)
I'm going to talk to some other women on the course. If he's done it to other women then it means he's a repeat offender and I'll go to the police but if it's just me then I'll tell campus security.
Me and bf(?) go the same route to uni and get the same train. Yesterday that train was only 2 carriages and I didn't see him on there and it's an hourly train. The girl he dated before me cheated so he's always been sensitive to that but the first time we dated we were together for about 4 months and it took some reassurance but generally he never worried that I would cheat on him. I know we were apart for about 6 months but nothing's really changed there. Neither of us has dated anyone else in the meantime and I have a similar thing about cheating - my ex before him played fast and loose with the term "monogamous".
Honestly, if I had to guess what happened here I'd say that because bf and this guy aren't friends but do know each other that the guy figured I'd tell bf what happened so he decided he should get there first and sell his version of the story before I had a chance, and when bf heard he just turned around and went home. I honestly don't think bf has it in him to set me up like that. Do yall really think he could have done that?
That sounds good. Hopefully he's not doing it to other women on campus. As for your bf, I'll say this, the fact that he didn't even hear you out, shows how little trust he has in you. I understand about his past, and that it plays a factor in how he is now, but he also needs to understand that you are someone else. That at least he owes you the chance to explain yourself. How things played out between your bf, the second guy and you just seems too much of a coincidence. That's why it comes off that way to us. I would say that you try and have a chat with him, and if he's still unresponsive, then it's time to move on. Your bf sounds like he may not be in the best position to date right now. He is bringing in quite some luggage with him and it's causing a strain between you guys. That's not a good sign.
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londonmyst
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(Original post by Anonymous)
I'm going to talk to some other women on the course. If he's done it to other women then it means he's a repeat offender and I'll go to the police but if it's just me then I'll tell campus security.
Me and bf(?) go the same route to uni and get the same train. Yesterday that train was only 2 carriages and I didn't see him on there and it's an hourly train. The girl he dated before me cheated so he's always been sensitive to that but the first time we dated we were together for about 4 months and it took some reassurance but generally he never worried that I would cheat on him. I know we were apart for about 6 months but nothing's really changed there. Neither of us has dated anyone else in the meantime and I have a similar thing about cheating - my ex before him played fast and loose with the term "monogamous".
Honestly, if I had to guess what happened here I'd say that because bf and this guy aren't friends but do know each other that the guy figured I'd tell bf what happened so he decided he should get there first and sell his version of the story before I had a chance, and when bf heard he just turned around and went home. I honestly don't think bf has it in him to set me up like that. Do yall really think he could have done that?
I think your boyfriend set a honeytrap, which may have gone too far.
Whether you choose to go to the police or not- notify the uni that you were sexually assaulted by that guy and try to get hold of the relevant cctv.
If the culprit is a calculated liar and sexual predator, he will try to attack your credibility and make himself look like a victim of slander.
Deny him the opportunity.
Get the footage, warn your friends and make sure you have the proof to back it up- cctv or a signed witness statement where you describe in detail what he did to you.
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Hopefully1
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Well.....maybe not what you want to hear but I like the expression: "Rejection is Protection". Your quasi bf has no reason to be mad if what you are describing is actually what happened. I can't believe people would set up someone they supposedly care about up but I have a guy friend who his (now ex) gf set him up so who knows as far as your guy..... it does happen. But, if he can't be understanding of what happened and doesn't even want to hear your version of events you dodged a bullet in the long run being with this guy. Definitely controlling and disrespectful at the very least. I'm sure he seemed to be pretty great but isn't in reality what you thought. I think I'd try one more time to get him to talk to you (if you want) and if he is still unwillingly to hear your side and you know guy 2 truly blindsided you with the kiss then I'd suggest you walk away with your head held high - thankful neither of these guys will be in your life!
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Bio 7
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Since he didn’t show I’d say like the others here that he set it up.

Theres no way the second guy could have told the first one what happened after leaving you if they had no prior connection, it would have taken too long.
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Last edited by Bio 7; 3 weeks ago
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