First year at uni becoming a drag Watch

Pizzabomb
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Was in accommodation for a little while but left as I had made no real social connections and I didn’t really like that many people I got to know. It felt very false and going out sucked cause I didn’t know anyone well enough to have a good time. Moved back home and mentally it made me a lot happier at first but I’m starting to wonder why I’m even still coming to uni.

I’m doing 4 modules and only 1 relates to my chosen area of study, the other 3 I feel are pointless time sinks and I’m not enjoying them and knowing they have no bearing on my degree it’s hard to motivate myself. Everyone in my classes is antisocial. More time is spent on phones than talking to each other and I don’t really care for anyone and I feel like the feelings are reciprocated. People I actually liked have also dropped out.

Feel like I’ve been cheated. All my mates from high school and college have great accommodation and great friends and I was put in a dump and don’t feel like I’ve made any connections. A few have girlfriends and I can’t remember the last time I even flirted with a girl. Hard to get a girlfriend when you have no friends and can’t meet their friends for example.

I’m waiting for the summer so I can spend time with my guys, I found it incredibly easy to make friends in high school and college but in uni I feel like a shell of myself and I’m not enjoying my course. I can’t drop out but really don’t know what to do in the meantime. Any help or if you’ve experienced this it’d be Nice to hear from you thanks
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velvethopes
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Tried joining societies? Chatting to people outside of your course?
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That'sGreat
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a) moved back home presumably before christmas, you only gave it 2-3 months
b) Societies
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liquidconfidence
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(Original post by Pizzabomb)
Was in accommodation for a little while but left as I had made no real social connections and I didn’t really like that many people I got to know. It felt very false and going out sucked cause I didn’t know anyone well enough to have a good time. Moved back home and mentally it made me a lot happier at first but I’m starting to wonder why I’m even still coming to uni.

I’m doing 4 modules and only 1 relates to my chosen area of study, the other 3 I feel are pointless time sinks and I’m not enjoying them and knowing they have no bearing on my degree it’s hard to motivate myself. Everyone in my classes is antisocial. More time is spent on phones than talking to each other and I don’t really care for anyone and I feel like the feelings are reciprocated. People I actually liked have also dropped out.

Feel like I’ve been cheated. All my mates from high school and college have great accommodation and great friends and I was put in a dump and don’t feel like I’ve made any connections. A few have girlfriends and I can’t remember the last time I even flirted with a girl. Hard to get a girlfriend when you have no friends and can’t meet their friends for example.

I’m waiting for the summer so I can spend time with my guys, I found it incredibly easy to make friends in high school and college but in uni I feel like a shell of myself and I’m not enjoying my course. I can’t drop out but really don’t know what to do in the meantime. Any help or if you’ve experienced this it’d be Nice to hear from you thanks
What university do you go to ?
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999tigger
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(Original post by Pizzabomb)
Was in accommodation for a little while but left as I had made no real social connections and I didn’t really like that many people I got to know. It felt very false and going out sucked cause I didn’t know anyone well enough to have a good time. Moved back home and mentally it made me a lot happier at first but I’m starting to wonder why I’m even still coming to uni.

I’m doing 4 modules and only 1 relates to my chosen area of study, the other 3 I feel are pointless time sinks and I’m not enjoying them and knowing they have no bearing on my degree it’s hard to motivate myself. Everyone in my classes is antisocial. More time is spent on phones than talking to each other and I don’t really care for anyone and I feel like the feelings are reciprocated. People I actually liked have also dropped out.

Feel like I’ve been cheated. All my mates from high school and college have great accommodation and great friends and I was put in a dump and don’t feel like I’ve made any connections. A few have girlfriends and I can’t remember the last time I even flirted with a girl. Hard to get a girlfriend when you have no friends and can’t meet their friends for example.

I’m waiting for the summer so I can spend time with my guys, I found it incredibly easy to make friends in high school and college but in uni I feel like a shell of myself and I’m not enjoying my course. I can’t drop out but really don’t know what to do in the meantime. Any help or if you’ve experienced this it’d be Nice to hear from you thanks
Then dont go back and leave. Do another course when you have some idea of what you want to do you have one chance.
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Pizzabomb
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(Original post by 999tigger)
Then dont go back and leave. Do another course when you have some idea of what you want to do you have one chance.
Just wanna get out and get earning at this point, the uni experience is passing me by but I need the degree so I’m just gonna stick it out and grin and bear it. Only issue is I’m not getting the uni experience I wanted.
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Pizzabomb
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(Original post by velvethopes)
Tried joining societies? Chatting to people outside of your course?
Yeah I signed up for 3 of them but 1 falls on a day I’m not in, 1 I wasn’t really interested in but felt like I should and the one I wanted to do the most never sent me any follow up emails and I don’t even think it exists anymore
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Pizzabomb
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(Original post by That'sGreat)
a) moved back home presumably before christmas, you only gave it 2-3 months
b) Societies
Saved me a lot of money and worry cause I was starting to get depressed and isolated, feelings I’d never had before.
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Duncan2012
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(Original post by Pizzabomb)
not getting the uni experience I wanted.
It’s up to you to create the uni experience you want. As above - have you joined any societies or sports teams?
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lcdnoisesystem
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(Original post by Pizzabomb)
Saved me a lot of money and worry cause I was starting to get depressed and isolated, feelings I’d never had before.
youre going to have to deal with feelings of depression and isolation throughout ur life, avoidance is a bad and unsustainable defense mechanism.
you can make living at home work, but its harder. it will be fake the first few months before everyone in halls properly gets to know each other. i'd recommend getting a part time job and/or joining a society or multiple societies just to trial it.
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Idrissian
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Pizzabomb I'm sorry to hear that man, I hope it gets better. Also, may I ask what Uni you go to?
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999tigger
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(Original post by Pizzabomb)
Just wanna get out and get earning at this point, the uni experience is passing me by but I need the degree so I’m just gonna stick it out and grin and bear it. Only issue is I’m not getting the uni experience I wanted.
Sounds like a car crash, but your life. Just get a good grade then.
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harrysbar
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(Original post by Pizzabomb)
Was in accommodation for a little while but left as I had made no real social connections and I didn’t really like that many people I got to know. It felt very false and going out sucked cause I didn’t know anyone well enough to have a good time. Moved back home and mentally it made me a lot happier at first but I’m starting to wonder why I’m even still coming to uni.

I’m doing 4 modules and only 1 relates to my chosen area of study, the other 3 I feel are pointless time sinks and I’m not enjoying them and knowing they have no bearing on my degree it’s hard to motivate myself. Everyone in my classes is antisocial. More time is spent on phones than talking to each other and I don’t really care for anyone and I feel like the feelings are reciprocated. People I actually liked have also dropped out.

Feel like I’ve been cheated. All my mates from high school and college have great accommodation and great friends and I was put in a dump and don’t feel like I’ve made any connections. A few have girlfriends and I can’t remember the last time I even flirted with a girl. Hard to get a girlfriend when you have no friends and can’t meet their friends for example.

I’m waiting for the summer so I can spend time with my guys, I found it incredibly easy to make friends in high school and college but in uni I feel like a shell of myself and I’m not enjoying my course. I can’t drop out but really don’t know what to do in the meantime. Any help or if you’ve experienced this it’d be Nice to hear from you thanks
If you're that unhappy, have you thought about transferring into Year 2 of the same course at a different Uni? That could be worth exploring
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PQ
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(Original post by Pizzabomb)
Yeah I signed up for 3 of them but 1 falls on a day I’m not in, 1 I wasn’t really interested in but felt like I should and the one I wanted to do the most never sent me any follow up emails and I don’t even think it exists anymore
You can go into university on days you aren’t scheduled to have teaching. Most people aren’t in lectures on Wednesday afternoons - that’s why a lot of social activities are arranged for that time.

Have you tried speaking to people on your course who always sit on their own looking at their phone? They could well be feeling exactly the same as you but you’re all too nervous to break the ice.

Working is a great way to make friends. A couple of shifts in the union bar will help you meet a whole bunch of other students.

If the society you really wanted doesn’t exist anymore - set it up again yourself. Your SU will have information on what you need to do that.

It sounds a bit like you’re expecting a great experience to land in your lap instead of putting in a bit of effort. It’s tough if you’re feeling lonely and demotivated but that’s even more reason to fight for what you want instead of settling for unhappiness.
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nintysixthousand
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can you not transfer to a different uni? its a lot of money to settle for something that doesnt make you happy.
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Durhamgirl96
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I was in the same position, almost. Your first port of call should be the accommodation office at your university, or the landlord of a private hall. They could potentially relocate you to a different flat. You might want to think about talking to the head of your course as well. Second year tends to be more specific, though. So, keep that in mind.

If you really can't see a way out, try looking at other universities.
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Edminzodo
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(Original post by Pizzabomb)
Was in accommodation for a little while but left as I had made no real social connections and I didn’t really like that many people I got to know. It felt very false and going out sucked cause I didn’t know anyone well enough to have a good time. Moved back home and mentally it made me a lot happier at first but I’m starting to wonder why I’m even still coming to uni.

I’m doing 4 modules and only 1 relates to my chosen area of study, the other 3 I feel are pointless time sinks and I’m not enjoying them and knowing they have no bearing on my degree it’s hard to motivate myself. Everyone in my classes is antisocial. More time is spent on phones than talking to each other and I don’t really care for anyone and I feel like the feelings are reciprocated. People I actually liked have also dropped out.

Feel like I’ve been cheated. All my mates from high school and college have great accommodation and great friends and I was put in a dump and don’t feel like I’ve made any connections. A few have girlfriends and I can’t remember the last time I even flirted with a girl. Hard to get a girlfriend when you have no friends and can’t meet their friends for example.

I’m waiting for the summer so I can spend time with my guys, I found it incredibly easy to make friends in high school and college but in uni I feel like a shell of myself and I’m not enjoying my course. I can’t drop out but really don’t know what to do in the meantime. Any help or if you’ve experienced this it’d be Nice to hear from you thanks
I didn't really make any friends in my accommodation which felt weird, but I made friends through other ways - sports, societies and my course more generally. Try going to events and putting yourself out there a bit more. I know it's hard but perseverance really helps.
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Retired_Messiah
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How long did you actually spend in halls before you moved out of them?
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username4515112
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All my mates from high school and college have great accommodation and great friends

yeah thats just an assumption on how it appears. i was on halls it was alright but a flat mate posted stuff on social media and made it look like it was one massive party and we were all great friends. but in truth we went out a couple times a month and were only friends cos we happened to live together. no one was really tight nit in fact i never saw at least half after first year

i think the advice then is uni isnt as great as social media or instagram like prospectuses say. its all abit chit really i met about 250 ppl over 4 years and dont recall meeting anyone that had time of their life. come second year u just wanna leave lol
and ur not entitled to anything so if u want friends etc u have to go to them
Last edited by username4515112; 1 year ago
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SomeWelshGuy123
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Complains about not having made friends in accommodation and the course, yet only gave it a few months. Also people rarely speak in lecturers and seminars unless they are good friends with other people there, that's perfectly normal.
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