Girlfriend tries making me jealous of her guy 'best friend'

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Anonymous #1
#1
Report Thread starter 1 year ago
#1
Hi,

A bit of background, I've been going out with my girlfriend since July 2018 (almost 8 months), and over the past month or so, she has been saying about how much she loves her new guy 'best friend', she does it subtly enough so that if I confront her about it, I will seem ridiculous.
Just yesterday, she was telling me about a trip to a theme park that she is going on with her friends and made a point of saying "I'll probably have to share a bed with him" as they are staying overnight in a hotel ('him' being the guy best friend). I could tell she was trying to make me jealous, and she says things like this all the time now, another example is her saying "He messages me all the time" and "We talk so much". My sixth sense is telling me she's purposefully trying to make me feel jealous (it's not working, it just annoys me that she would do something so malicious and hypocritical, as she is insecure about my female friends), however, before I confront her about this, I wanted to get some advice.

Am I being ridiculous? Or is she purposefully trying to make me jealous, why would she do that and what should I do about it?

Thanks for any responses
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Anonymous #2
#2
Report 1 year ago
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Sounds really weird. I’m someone who’s a little prone to jealousy (though I recognise this as a fault in myself, not my boyfriend’s fault) whereas my boyfriend doesn’t have a jealous bone in his body. I can understand her logic I think, though what she’s doing is pretty irritating. It sort of seems like she’s worried that you’re NOT jealous, because she IS. maybe she sees her jealousy as ‘proof’ that she really likes/loves you, and she’s worried that, because you’re not jealous, you don’t feel the same way. Obviously this is a silly thought process- jealousy is not a sign of love at all. But yeah I think she’s trying to tease some jealousy out of you so she can prove to herself that you love her in the same, intense/possessive way she seems to love you, though clearly you’re not a possessive person (which is a good thing). The fact that she would go this far with that logic though is pretty odd. Maybe you should let her know that you’re finding it weird and that jealousy isn’t a good thing, she shouldn’t encourage it. I don’t think you’re being ridiculous at all, it sounds super annoying.
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Anonymous #3
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Report 1 year ago
#3
I think you hit the nail on the head when you said "insecure", and yeah I think by the sounds of it she's trying to make you jealous.

It's out of order for her to even be considering sharing a bed with any other guy when she has a boyfriend as well.
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jesswilson612
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#4
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Sounds very weird. I’m someone who’s a little prone to jealousy, a fault which I’m trying to work on. My boyfriend, however, doesn’t have a jealous bone in his body. So, being in a similar (though toned-down) situation as her, I think I can sort of understand her logic, though I don’t think what she’s doing is right or healthy. It sounds like she’s worried that you’re NOT jealous, because she IS jealous. She sees her jealousy as ‘proof’ that she loves you, so the fact that you’re not jealous may make her think that you don’t love her in the same way. So I think she’s trying to tease some jealousy out of you so she can prove to herself that you’re as intense/possessive/in love as she is, maybe to help her justify and normalise her own jealousy to herself, but mainly to prove to herself that you really do love her. It’s not great behaviour, I’d let her know that you find it odd and that you don’t think jealousy should be seen as a sign of love. I hope this helps!
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jesswilson612
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P.S- I’d make it absolutely clear to her that her tactics aren’t working and that you’re not jealous at all, that could nip it in the bud before you even have to confront her about why she’s doing this on a wider level
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Anonymous #4
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Report 4 months ago
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I would’ve broken up with her just to see her reaction, because talking about a male like that in front of your boyfriend is very wrong, but it’s been a year and things might’ve changed already. Hope it went well.
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