Maladaptive Daydreaming help Watch

Anonymous #1
#1
Report Thread starter 3 weeks ago
#1
Hi all,

I was just wondering if anyone here suffers with Maladaptive Daydreaming? I’ve suffered with it for years and have intense bouts of it on and off constantly, usually based around people I find attractive in the media (singers or actors, characters from movies/games/tv shows etc). I know there are other out there but I can’t find any blogs or support groups that are still running. Most seem to have been fairly active a few years ago but not so much now.

I’m currently dealing with an intense bout of MD, to the point where I’m envisioning my created characters and world around me in my waking life, kind of like it’s an overlay on the real world. It’s sounds insane I know.

It’s keeping me awake at night, disrupting my studies and daily routines and affecting me emotionally as I long for my characters to be real. I’m heavily emotionally involved with one of them and I feel an intense sadness all the time because I know he doesn’t exist.

I don’t know what I’m expecting by posting this but I feel like I’m going crazy and I have to get this out.
Posted on the TSR App. Download from Apple or Google Play
reply
TheAnxiousSloth
Badges: 19
Rep:
?
#2
Report 3 weeks ago
#2
Hey, I have the same thing. I'm not diagnosed with it, but I daydream an awful lot. It is my escape. I also feel sad that they're not real.
"She feels more alive in her dreams". I will mention it to my therapist tomorrow if I remember and report back here.
0
reply
Anonymous #1
#3
Report Thread starter 3 weeks ago
#3
(Original post by TheAnxiousSloth)
Hey, I have the same thing. I'm not diagnosed with it, but I daydream an awful lot. It is my escape. I also feel sad that they're not real.
"She feels more alive in her dreams". I will mention it to my therapist tomorrow if I remember and report back here.
Omg I’m so glad someone else has the same thing! I’m not formally diagnosed either because a therapists I’ve seen don’t really think it’s an actual thing. I’ve had it all my life and only sometimes does it consume my everyday life to extreme measures. Most other times I can switch back to reality easily but this is one of the times where it’s a difficult one to leave behind.

Did you talk to your therapist about it?
Posted on the TSR App. Download from Apple or Google Play
reply
Anonymous #2
#4
Report 2 weeks ago
#4
I have this too ! I have these created characters and worlds too but I mainly daydream about myself and the real people around me (almost 'perfect world/life scenarios) and although I enjoy daydreaming, I also think it's ruining a lot of my real life. I'm 16 and doing my A levels at the moment and I just cannot concentrate in lessons. I'll just zone out for the entire 2 hours and daydream and it's ruining my grades. It's also like I have a real life relationship with someone and then an imaginary one with the same person and I sometimes get confused between the two. I probably sound crazy haha
I've never met anyone with the same thing so it's good to know there are others out there
I have mentioned it to my therapist but I don't think she understands the scale of the problem and thinks it's just 'being distracted'. I think you're right that professionals don't really believe it's a real thing so it makes it really difficult to talk about and solve the problem. I'm really sorry that I don't have an answer to this but I'm going to keep an eye on the thread because I'm desperately looking for answers too
I hope this gets better for you and someone out there has some advice!
reply
Anonymous #1
#5
Report Thread starter 2 weeks ago
#5
(Original post by Anonymous)
I have this too ! I have these created characters and worlds too but I mainly daydream about myself and the real people around me (almost 'perfect world/life scenarios) and although I enjoy daydreaming, I also think it's ruining a lot of my real life. I'm 16 and doing my A levels at the moment and I just cannot concentrate in lessons. I'll just zone out for the entire 2 hours and daydream and it's ruining my grades. It's also like I have a real life relationship with someone and then an imaginary one with the same person and I sometimes get confused between the two. I probably sound crazy haha
I've never met anyone with the same thing so it's good to know there are others out there
I have mentioned it to my therapist but I don't think she understands the scale of the problem and thinks it's just 'being distracted'. I think you're right that professionals don't really believe it's a real thing so it makes it really difficult to talk about and solve the problem. I'm really sorry that I don't have an answer to this but I'm going to keep an eye on the thread because I'm desperately looking for answers too
I hope this gets better for you and someone out there has some advice!
OP here.
Yes I’m the same! I’m doing a course to get to uni and it’s vital that my grades are high. I’ve been very focused since starting the course in september and I haven’t had a bout of daydreaming since then, well, I have had 1 or 2 but they have been tame and easy to keep out of my mind until I can daydream at a more convenient time.

I haven’t had a very strong one for a long time and I forgot how consuming it is. It’s not only my grades that suffer (I’m running late on completing 3 assignments before deadline) but my everyday life too. I feel like I walk around in a fog and my daydreams bleed into reality in a way. I can tell the difference between them and I know the characters/world/scenarios I’m “seeing” aren’t really there but it’s very distracting.
I sometimes mouth words or whisper to myself unintentionally while I’m playing out conversations in my head. Do you do this?
Do you ever do research to make your daydreams more realistic? That sounds crazy haha but I do sit and read up on things or google image places/hairstyles/outfits/room layouts etc and things like that in order to make my dreams more vivid. I never mentioned it to my therapist years ago when I had one so I never knew what she would make of it. I’m always too embarrassed to tell anyone in person and I don’t think I ever have.

Today, I’m supposed to be catching up on my assignments and every few minutes my mind will wander back into my daydream and I have to drag myself out of it. Even if I think “Right, ok brain, here is a deal. For the next 4 hours, we will get through this assignment and focus ONLY on this assignment. Once we have got it finished, or very close to finished, you can have your own way and we can sit and daydream. How about that?” My brain goes “Ok deal, lets go”, and then 2 minutes later I’m daydreaming.

Even if we can’t get any answers, I find it lessens the stress when we can talk to others about it. I already felt better after posting the question a few days ago. I’m glad there are others out there I’ve always wanted to hear others’ experiences. Not necessarily the ins and outs of the daydreams themselves because a lot of the time you can’t explain them in a way someone would ‘get’ the same way you do but it’s alwaya interesting to know peoples triggers and behaviours when daydreaming or what the usual structure of them is.
But you definitely don’t sound crazy to me And if it IS crazy, then we’re both crazy
Posted on the TSR App. Download from Apple or Google Play
reply
Anonymous #2
#6
Report 2 weeks ago
#6
(Original post by Anonymous)
OP here.
Yes I’m the same! I’m doing a course to get to uni and it’s vital that my grades are high. I’ve been very focused since starting the course in september and I haven’t had a bout of daydreaming since then, well, I have had 1 or 2 but they have been tame and easy to keep out of my mind until I can daydream at a more convenient time.

I haven’t had a very strong one for a long time and I forgot how consuming it is. It’s not only my grades that suffer (I’m running late on completing 3 assignments before deadline) but my everyday life too. I feel like I walk around in a fog and my daydreams bleed into reality in a way. I can tell the difference between them and I know the characters/world/scenarios I’m “seeing” aren’t really there but it’s very distracting.
I sometimes mouth words or whisper to myself unintentionally while I’m playing out conversations in my head. Do you do this?
Do you ever do research to make your daydreams more realistic? That sounds crazy haha but I do sit and read up on things or google image places/hairstyles/outfits/room layouts etc and things like that in order to make my dreams more vivid. I never mentioned it to my therapist years ago when I had one so I never knew what she would make of it. I’m always too embarrassed to tell anyone in person and I don’t think I ever have.

Today, I’m supposed to be catching up on my assignments and every few minutes my mind will wander back into my daydream and I have to drag myself out of it. Even if I think “Right, ok brain, here is a deal. For the next 4 hours, we will get through this assignment and focus ONLY on this assignment. Once we have got it finished, or very close to finished, you can have your own way and we can sit and daydream. How about that?” My brain goes “Ok deal, lets go”, and then 2 minutes later I’m daydreaming.

Even if we can’t get any answers, I find it lessens the stress when we can talk to others about it. I already felt better after posting the question a few days ago. I’m glad there are others out there I’ve always wanted to hear others’ experiences. Not necessarily the ins and outs of the daydreams themselves because a lot of the time you can’t explain them in a way someone would ‘get’ the same way you do but it’s alwaya interesting to know peoples triggers and behaviours when daydreaming or what the usual structure of them is.
But you definitely don’t sound crazy to me And if it IS crazy, then we’re both crazy
I also mouth words and pull facial expressions whilst daydreaming ! I think people have noticed but nobody says anything
And yes I do research too !!
I honestly thought that was just me haha - I especially look up places so that I get it right when I'm daydreaming about them. Sometimes even laws or rules in certain places so it can be more realistic
I plan out daydreams and when I was younger I would draw out my characters and room designs and their clothes and write about them. I think I've always been a big daydreamer but it's never a problem when you're little because you don't have any major responsibilities and you're just seen as 'imaginative'
Whereas now it's a bit of a bigger deal because I don't have time to be able to daydream and zone out all day.
I've noticed that these daydreams and zoning out correlates with my mental health at the time ? If I'm anxious or upset then my coping mechanism is to just block out the real world and my problems and absorb myself into these imaginative scenarios I create myself and I completely understand the 'fog' you were talking about - for me it almost feels like when ylive just woken up and nothing quite feels real, it's all just a foggy blur.
I've never told anyone close to me about it for the same reason as you (I'm too embarrassed). Maybe it would help if we did but I don't know, it's harder than it sounds !
The way you described wanting to get on with work and then just slipping back into daydream is exactly what happens to me ! Because I'm in sixth form and I'm only taking 3 subjects, I have a lot of free periods that I'm supposed to do homework in. I end up getting nothing done at all because I just sit there and dream, even when I really want to concentrate and be productive. I wish there was a way to just turn my imagination off for a while.
Even I feel so much better after you posted the question and I'm glad you do too ! I think it really does help to share experiences and it's interesting to hear others own stories
Thanks for starting this thread, it's really helpful !
reply
Anonymous #1
#7
Report Thread starter 1 week ago
#7
I feel like everytime I say “omg me too!” it’s like it’s too many coincidences but seriously, I do the laws and rules thing too! I have to apply laws and rules of all kinds of things like you would get in real life. Laws of physics apply too most of the time. Depending on what the dream is about, they can be bent a little bit. But not to unrealistic standards. Or at least, what I feel are unrealistic. I cant even try to bend the rules that much or make crazy things happen because it just doesnt work. Like the if I try to change something in the dreameworld and it’s stupid or unrealistic, it doesnt change. The thing I’m trying to change just stays the same.

If a new character in the dream is foreign, I listen to how that accent sounds when speaking english and if I want them to speak in their own language, I translate a few sentences and use that as a base for words I can make up haha. It souds so crazy and like a lot of work for nothing, but it’s really just a natural progression and i do it without even thinking about it.

My dreams are more frequent when I’m stressed too I have found. But not stresses I know about, like money or a deadline or something. It’s more like things I’m worried about unconsciously but without realising, like worrying I’m going to end up alone all my life or that I wont ever have friends haha It kind of manifests itself in a way where I end up latching on to some character I find attractive and it stems from there. I think that might be my biggest trigger actually, since all my dreams throughout my life have been driven by attraction to someone (apart from 2 dreams) and they only seem to come about where I feel deeply lonely (but dont realise it’s loneliness). If I have a lot of meaningful social interactions over a period of time, I dont tend to dream at all or even think about it.

I actually remember mentioning it very briefly to my mum once but she didnt even pretend to understand and just changed the subject so i never mentioned it again. I dont think anyone really can understand it unless they do it.

Do you ever get times where you have overindulged on daydreaming and you are sick of it and dont want to do it but you also cant seem to get back into reality either? I have times like that where I just cant find the strength to daydream because I feel like all my scenarios are spent and I cant think of any new ones, and I want to just go back into the real world for a bit but when I try to, I still yearn for the daydream world. I hate that limbo.

I’m glad I posted the thread now too! I didnt think it would get any attention. I cant seem to find anyone willing to discuss their experiences. All these other support groups seem to have shut down.
But it’s great to compare with people and I do feel better too. A problem shared is a problem halved so they say
Posted on the TSR App. Download from Apple or Google Play
reply
Anonymous #3
#8
Report 5 days ago
#8
hey im a fifteen year old girl and ive been doing this my whole life but i thought it was just me being weird,
for me, its got to the point where i interact with it (kinda like small words and actions) only in isolated conditions though, its makes my friendships with people quite unhealthy and i can never figure out if i actually like this girl or im just interested with her life and a different version of her as a character in my mind. Do any of you guys have the same sort of issue?
reply
X

Quick Reply

Attached files
Write a reply...
Reply
new posts
Latest
My Feed

See more of what you like on
The Student Room

You can personalise what you see on TSR. Tell us a little about yourself to get started.

Personalise

Where do you need more help?

Which Uni should I go to? (111)
17.51%
How successful will I become if I take my planned subjects? (68)
10.73%
How happy will I be if I take this career? (110)
17.35%
How do I achieve my dream Uni placement? (92)
14.51%
What should I study to achieve my dream career? (63)
9.94%
How can I be the best version of myself? (190)
29.97%

Watched Threads

View All