Very upset, want to drop out of course? Watch

Karina0x
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I’m going to try and keep this as short as possible, but I’ve been studying Chinese and Linguistics since last September.

Languages was just my “thing” and I’ve been so passionate about Chinese since I was 14. I went through hell in secondary school, being diagnosed with Auditory Processing Disorder, doing GCSEs I didn’t like and retaking maths in my first year of college, doing something not *particularly* interesting, but with the aim that I’d get to go to university and do Chinese.

Wanting to stay in London, I more-or-less had to pair Chinese with something (I know SOAS does Chinese alone, but they rejected me) and I chose linguistics - it’s bearable.

I fell behind so badly in Chinese during my first semester and my semester grade wasn’t the best, so I really wasn’t surprised and knew I’d straighten up during my second semester, and I did.

It’s now my reading week and I’ve got *so* much to study, especially as I have to study Chinese every single day (writing), and yesterday I sat down, wrote a couple of characters and I just... stopped. I became extremely overwhelmed because I knew that I needed to also study character recognition by reading text, study grammar and memorise the characters. I cried for hours and have said that I wanted to drop out.

Having APD and dyslexia really puts all the odds against me, but Chinese is my passion. I can’t help but feel like I need to drop out because it’s so much overwhelming stress that is demanded of me, and my lack of memory due to my learning disabilities really puts even more pressure on me. And yes, I’ve been in the loop with learning disability support and it’s nothing related to at home study.

After a day at uni, I’ll normally come home and practice characters only because I’m so tired, but I know I need to do grammar, reading, etc... it’s just so damn stressful. I really can’t help but feel that I have to drop out. I haven’t stop crying.

I know I said I’d keep it short, I’m really really sorry but I’m so desperate. Thank you.
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999tigger
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(Original post by Karina0x)
I’m going to try and keep this as short as possible, but I’ve been studying Chinese and Linguistics since last September.

Languages was just my “thing” and I’ve been so passionate about Chinese since I was 14. I went through hell in secondary school, being diagnosed with Auditory Processing Disorder, doing GCSEs I didn’t like and retaking maths in my first year of college, doing something not *particularly* interesting, but with the aim that I’d get to go to university and do Chinese.

Wanting to stay in London, I more-or-less had to pair Chinese with something (I know SOAS does Chinese alone, but they rejected me) and I chose linguistics - it’s bearable.

I fell behind so badly in Chinese during my first semester and my semester grade wasn’t the best, so I really wasn’t surprised and knew I’d straighten up during my second semester, and I did.

It’s now my reading week and I’ve got *so* much to study, especially as I have to study Chinese every single day (writing), and yesterday I sat down, wrote a couple of characters and I just... stopped. I became extremely overwhelmed because I knew that I needed to also study character recognition by reading text, study grammar and memorise the characters. I cried for hours and have said that I wanted to drop out.

Having APD and dyslexia really puts all the odds against me, but Chinese is my passion. I can’t help but feel like I need to drop out because it’s so much overwhelming stress that is demanded of me, and my lack of memory due to my learning disabilities really puts even more pressure on me. And yes, I’ve been in the loop with learning disability support and it’s nothing related to at home study.

After a day at uni, I’ll normally come home and practice characters only because I’m so tired, but I know I need to do grammar, reading, etc... it’s just so damn stressful. I really can’t help but feel that I have to drop out. I haven’t stop crying.

I know I said I’d keep it short, I’m really really sorry but I’m so desperate. Thank you.
Have you talked with your tutor?
Are you getting adequate help from the disability team?


You could ask for a suspension of studies?
You could retake the year?
You could find a different course or just a different uni?

You do nee to talk to someone even if its just to get it out and lessen the stress.
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Karina0x
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I emailed my tutor last night asking what the procedure of dropping out is, he hasn’t answered.

The disability team have done what I needed them to do, which was extra time in exams and use a computer. It has nothing to do with at home study unfortunately.

I’d rather not retake the year or suspend it, as I’ll forget the Chinese I’ve learned, and it’s been a lot.

I thought about a different course, but Chinese is my thing. It’s the only thing I’ve ever wanted to do. It’s either Chinese or nothing.
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Molseh
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Why did you fall behind in the first place?

From reading this it would seem alot of your stress and worry is due to your workload. If this is the case then a proper, well thought out study plan to get you back on track seems like the best course of action. Try and reach out to someone who can help you with this.
It isn't too late to catch up, concentrate on passing this year and then you have the entire summer break to really get to grips with anything you feel you have missed out on, to best prepare you for year 2 onwards.
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Karina0x
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I fell behind in the first semester because It shocked me so much how fast it moved and before I knew it, it was week 11 and I had no idea what was even happening. But I got it together slightly in the second semester, studying everyday and such, only writing though. I’m too tired to do anything else. Is that something I just have to suck up or is there something I can do about that?
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hello_shawn
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讲华语比较重要。(if you know what that means)
Honestly, there's a lot more value in being able to hold a decent conversation in any language, something I find a lot of dyslexics are good at. Those with Asperger's have the opposite problem, being able to understand languages better through written communication and unable to speak to save their lives. I'm an ethnic Chinese from Singapore who's had a lot of the language taken out of me after moving to the UK aged 6, in terms of the language I only ever get by with the ability to type Chinese on a phone nowadays.
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Molseh
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(Original post by Karina0x)
I fell behind in the first semester because It shocked me so much how fast it moved and before I knew it, it was week 11 and I had no idea what was even happening. But I got it together slightly in the second semester, studying everyday and such, only writing though. I’m too tired to do anything else. Is that something I just have to suck up or is there something I can do about that?
As I mentioned before I feel a good structured plan would really help here, focussed on all areas of your study (not just writing). Make sure you leave yourself some free time in there.
From the sleep point of view, I am probably not the best person to ask given my Army background tells me to just suck it up buttercup, but perhaps a better diet, some exercise and the structured plan will help you destress and help you sleep better (if not longer).
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Karina0x
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That’s really helpful, I understand. Thank you
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Molseh
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(Original post by Karina0x)
That’s really helpful, I understand. Thank you
Hope you manage to sort yourself out! Try and resist the urge to drop out like I did!
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Helloworld_95
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Go on leave, slowly learn Chinese at your own pace, try to go to China (do it by yourself or with other western friends), come back next year with a greater advantage.

It seems like you've just been shellshocked by university and that has created a setback for you, you need time to reset.

During the time away you might also want to consider other options. Moving away from London to another university which could have a more manageable workload might be one of them, some Chinese teaching departments which are more Confucius dominated will follow the Chinese method of teaching and learning more strictly, and as a Westerner and particularly as a Brit this is not an enjoyable or helpful environment, certainly not at the beginning. Changing from linguistics to something else could be another, or even changing from Chinese then learning Chinese as a minor or on the side via a Confucius institute.

I would also consider that just because Chinese is the only thing you've ever wanted to do doesn't mean it's the right thing for you to do, or at least it's not the right thing for you to do as a degree.

I also have APD and learn Chinese, I enjoy it, I find it easier to understand in environments where my APD would normally be worse, and my girlfriend is Chinese. When I learn in the classroom environment or try to study Chinese too much I find that my brain just shuts down and stops understanding other languages. When I'm in China or other Chinese majority places, or I take a day and say I'm only using Chinese, chat through hellotalk, etc. and just learning by osmosis then I learn much, much, much better with far fewer setbacks. Take it at your own pace and push yourself rather than being pushed.
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petertyerman
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you said you had been given 25% in exams have you also given in the 25% extra time on all assignments. In learning something written based clearly includes a language you should be getting 25% extension in the length of the course to allow for the extra work you need to do related to having dyslexia and learning new methods of learning on a continuous basis. You also need to ensure that your having one-to-one support in organisational and learning skills to support your disability. I do not know what teaching methods are using but with audio processing disorder and dyslexia you may well need teaching to be done in a different method by a different method. I would go back to disability support and suggest a complete reassessment of your support plan is required before you decide to give up on something you want to do.
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Rabbit2
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You might consider getting a 'walking dictionary' - a native speaker you could befriend [perhaps provide help in english to] in exchange for help in Mandarin. You also might want to consider what your career path is going to be, once you get your degree. Can you earn a living with the degree? Does it set you up for something that will support you? Since you do have some learning disabilities, another path might suit you better. Best of luck!! Cheers.
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doodle_333
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Speak to your uni about struggling to cope with the workload. You might get deadline ex tensions or a study mentor.
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Dannyboy2015
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Do I know that feeling, but apparently 3rd year is a little late to drop out I'm told. Waste of money or something along those line. Complain to whomever you need to for extra time, you should be able to get it (I think they have a legal responsibility bcos of your mental health).

If it really comes down to it, take a year out. Even if you think you won't come back, you'd have the option to.

Good luck. : )
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