The Student Room Group

Brother and money issue

Hi,

I need advice on how to take my situation with my brother calmly. Let me start by saying that I am a uni student with thousands worth of debt from student finance. Now my brother who earns about 18-20k a year always borrow money from either me, my parents or my older sister. (I am the youngest of three, brother is the oldest). Now he sends money to his gf and my niece in a different country every month and always says he is running short on money. I lent him money, which is quite big considering I am a student and have bills, books, transport and food to pay at my end. I agreed to lending him money on conditions that he will pay me back on agreed date (took screenshots of amount and our conversation to show him). On said date, he said he will pay me back on next pay day which is today and again he says he hasn’t got any money left to send over to his gf and niece. I found out from my older sister that he used it to buy a very expensive speaker that he doesn’t need! He already has 3 portable speakers. To add to this, he always do it but uses his gf and my niece as an excuse. Now I’m starting to hate him and his gf. His gf is a woman who earned a degree but doesn’t work. Their child is seven years old, my mom trued to give her an upstart on a small business which my mom plans to give to her once she can handle it on her own because my mom is tired if my brother always borrowing money from her and dad. Said GF is not interested and instead always wait for the money my brother sends abd spends her entire day on social media and send her kid to school and pick her up. She could work. She has a degree. I am getting annoyed because I can picture myself, once I graduate and start working, being always asked for money to support them. (This might be shocking to many, but this is an Asian/Western culture clash).

I can’t just come up front to my brother’s gf to tell her to work. It isn’t my job and I am in no place to say that. However, she is 30 years old and my brother 25 and I’m only 20, so they should know better.

How can I fix this? Would really appreciate your help.
Tell them you don’t have the money or need it for something. It’s not your responsibility to provide for your brothers wife and kids. Let him off the hook for this one and don’t lend him money again.

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