I’m straight but I love my close friend Watch

Anonymous #1
#1
Report Thread starter 3 weeks ago
#1
Okay so here is my story... (I know it’s lkng, please read!!

In The summer of 2018, I practically dated my next door neighbor, who is a male. (I am female) He soon lost interest in October and I was so sad. I was still his friend. In November, I quickly befriended a girl in my class. We’ll call her “Becky”
Recently, (January-February) I’ve been hanging out with Becky and becoming closer with her. My ex has been being very cruel to me, and she has helped me through it. She’s a very touchy person, so she always is hugging me and holding hands. Last night at a sleepover, she wanted to sleep next to me and we did. She cuddled with me and held my hand. We fell asleep like that and kept each other warm.
When I’m with her I feel safe and protected, and overall happier. I know I like boys, and have no sexual feelings towards Becky, but idk what it is. I love her and she always says she loves me but it’s more than just friends.
I just want to be near her. I have never liked girls, or even felt this deep connection, so can someone please try and tell me why I love her so much, and I’ve just recently became close.
She always tells me how funny, sweet, caring, amazing, and pretty I am and I really want to get to the bottom of this. I don’t think of her sexually, and I crave physical affection, so is that it? Am I just emotionally and physically attached to Becky?
Can someone please answer, I am dying to know! Sorry if this is super pong, and by the way I am a straight 14 year old female, who’s had one almost boyfriend in her life.
Thank you, anonymous
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DeathTheSister
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#2
Report 3 weeks ago
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Unfortunately, strangers online can't dictate how you're feeling and what you are. Try to sit down and really think about how you feel when you're around her. Does she make you as happy as you were when you were with your ex-boyfriend? Do you want to walk around holding hands? What about kissing? Will you be jealous if she got into a relationship with someone else? If this is your first time feeling like this, then try to explore these feelings and questions, since you are the only person in this world who can answer them. If you want, let 'Becky' know how you're feeling. If you're afraid of losing a good friendship if you tell her, then you don't have to say anything. Focus more on your feelings first before doing something you might regret.

I had a crush on my female friend, which I didn't even know I had until she got a girlfriend and I got jealous. Like you, I didn't have sexual feelings for my female friend. Instead, I got really jealous and upset whenever she talked about her girlfriend in front of me. It was a sudden epiphany when I realised that I don't really care about gender and could possibly be in a romantic relationship with anyone, despite their gender. But my only regret is the fact that I let my feelings affect our friendship. We kinda grew distant when she was in a relationship and it was my fault. To this day, she doesn't even know that I had a crush on her. I moved on but the epiphany really helped me feel some form of closure, which enabled me to move on.

The thing is, we can label others around us a lot easier than ourselves. I like to term myself as an 'asexual panromantic' since I'm not interested in any gender, sexually, but I feel like I could date any gender, as long as I like their personality. Of course, you don't have to label yourself. As long as you understand what you're feeling and preferences first, then you're already a step ahead towards the right direction. Take it from an asexual, sexual feelings do not always dictate romantic feelings.
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Anonymous #1
#3
Report Thread starter 1 week ago
#3
Thank you, that is really helpful! The answer is no, I don’t want to kiss her, I have no urge to. I just want to give her a hug and be around her. I feel like I belong with her spiritually. She just completes me. I don’t feel as if I’m asexual because no other girl makes me feel this way. It’s only her. I’ve also only had one boyfriend, but we never kissed. I just love her and she always teases that it’s “like I have a crush on her” but then she continues to hold my hand and hug me in school. I really don’t think I have a crush on her, I just love her as a human. Is this possible? Is it possible to just fall in love with someone without wanting to date them. And yes, I would probably get a little jealous if she got a date but I would be happy for her.
(Original post by DeathTheSister)
Unfortunately, strangers online can't dictate how you're feeling and what you are. Try to sit down and really think about how you feel when you're around her. Does she make you as happy as you were when you were with your ex-boyfriend? Do you want to walk around holding hands? What about kissing? Will you be jealous if she got into a relationship with someone else? If this is your first time feeling like this, then try to explore these feelings and questions, since you are the only person in this world who can answer them. If you want, let 'Becky' know how you're feeling. If you're afraid of losing a good friendship if you tell her, then you don't have to say anything. Focus more on your feelings first before doing something you might regret.

I had a crush on my female friend, which I didn't even know I had until she got a girlfriend and I got jealous. Like you, I didn't have sexual feelings for my female friend. Instead, I got really jealous and upset whenever she talked about her girlfriend in front of me. It was a sudden epiphany when I realised that I don't really care about gender and could possibly be in a romantic relationship with anyone, despite their gender. But my only regret is the fact that I let my feelings affect our friendship. We kinda grew distant when she was in a relationship and it was my fault. To this day, she doesn't even know that I had a crush on her. I moved on but the epiphany really helped me feel some form of closure, which enabled me to move on.

The thing is, we can label others around us a lot easier than ourselves. I like to term myself as an 'asexual panromantic' since I'm not interested in any gender, sexually, but I feel like I could date any gender, as long as I like their personality. Of course, you don't have to label yourself. As long as you understand what you're feeling and preferences first, then you're already a step ahead towards the right direction. Take it from an asexual, sexual feelings do not always dictate romantic feelings.
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DeathTheSister
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Report 1 week ago
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Yeah it is. This would be considered platonic love, where it is neither sexual nor romantic. What you have sounds like a very strong bond. Platonic love comes in all forms, from between friends to even family members. They would hold a special place in your heart and some might even be unconditional love. As long as they make you happy, then there is nothing to worry about.

To me, it sounds like your relationship is both completely normal, in the sense that it would be considered to be platonic love, and slightly unique since replicating the closeness would be slightly difficult with another person. Just keep being happy and support each other. There is a large emphasis on sexual and romantic love that often, people forget about the beauty of platonic love. It's like having someone who completes you but in a way where there is no sexual jealousy. What you feel is not only natural but also kinda envious to those who lack it. You have absolutely nothing to worry about with what you're feeling so just keep being happy.
(Original post by Anonymous)
Thank you, that is really helpful! The answer is no, I don’t want to kiss her, I have no urge to. I just want to give her a hug and be around her. I feel like I belong with her spiritually. She just completes me. I don’t feel as if I’m asexual because no other girl makes me feel this way. It’s only her. I’ve also only had one boyfriend, but we never kissed. I just love her and she always teases that it’s “like I have a crush on her” but then she continues to hold my hand and hug me in school. I really don’t think I have a crush on her, I just love her as a human. Is this possible? Is it possible to just fall in love with someone without wanting to date them. And yes, I would probably get a little jealous if she got a date but I would be happy for her.
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