Boyfriend can't come during intercourse

Yes I realise this is a not very common and some people may think that I should be grateful but trust me it's slightly annoying after a while.

Basically I'm in a long term relationship although due to still being at school and still living with parents and what not we have only and sex a handful of times. In each of these times it has been great for me but my boyfriend can't seem to orgasm during intercourse and sometimes even foreplay too...it stresses me out cause I feel I'm doing something wrong. We could try for ages and climaxed already and quite sometime later he still isn't there, and it can become slightly painful after a prolonged period. We have tried different positions, one said to be specifically for male pleasure but this hasn't worked ether...and the other very embarrasing problem is...he often slides out quite easily in these positions and then gets frustrated. Nether of us has been with many other people before, so I guess we're not the most experienced and a bit of advice is probably all we need! Thanks

Reply 1

Reue

20

Its actually rather common. Google it, there are some advice websites.

Reply 2

Anonymous #1

OP

Ah I see..I shall get on it. Any advice for the other little problem I mentioned?

Reply 3

Anonymous #1

OP

Any help at all? :frown:

Reply 4

super jay182

right i've heard, that sometimes a guy who masturbates a lot finds it harder to climax whilst having intercourse. this is because the guy is so used to climaxing using his hand, and with his hand being dryer means a lot more force being used. so when he is having intercourse, with it being easy because the vagina is wet it takes a lot more for him to climax.

so maybe it could be the fact that your boyfriend masturbates alot.

hope that made sense.

Reply 5

username186742

have you talked to him about it?

Reply 6

Anonymous #2

Anonymous

Yes I realise this is a not very common and some people may think that I should be grateful but trust me it's slightly annoying after a while.

Basically I'm in a long term relationship although due to still being at school and still living with parents and what not we have only and sex a handful of times. In each of these times it has been great for me but my boyfriend can't seem to orgasm during intercourse and sometimes even foreplay too...it stresses me out cause I feel I'm doing something wrong. We could try for ages and climaxed already and quite sometime later he still isn't there, and it can become slightly painful after a prolonged period. We have tried different positions, one said to be specifically for male pleasure but this hasn't worked ether...and the other very embarrasing problem is...he often slides out quite easily in these positions and then gets frustrated. Nether of us has been with many other people before, so I guess we're not the most experienced and a bit of advice is probably all we need! Thanks

100% Ditto. Geez, this is the EXACT situation i'm in.

Seriously guys, any advice?

Reply 7

Cj-Tj

15

super jay182

right i've heard, that sometimes a guy who masturbates a lot finds it harder to climax whilst having intercourse. this is because the guy is so used to climaxing using his hand, and with his hand being dryer means a lot more force being used. so when he is having intercourse, with it being easy because the vagina is wet it takes a lot more for him to climax.

so maybe it could be the fact that your boyfriend masturbates alot.

hope that made sense.

Thats true is that, you sort of have to "re-sesitive" him. Tell him to not pleasure himself at all, and then it will be easier. Also, try without condoms if you can (ie are safe) . You might try alcohol as well..... in small doses.

Reply 8

Aesop

11

Try lying down on your front and letting him enter you from behind. If you keep your legs closed there will be greater pressure for him and the weight of his body on yours will help him climax.

Reply 9

Frodz

11

It's very common, so don't worry about that.

Perhaps he's nervous. He might not necessarily show it but he could be, especially if this has gone on for a while. I expect he feels the need to prove himself so puts pressure on himself which ultimately will make things worse. Perhaps try and get him to relax more.

I agree with the advice to get him to masturbate less. It really can desensitize you to sex.

Reply 10

suicidal_dream

1

yup less masturbation should help.

Also, just keep trying - practice makes perfect - maybe he literally gets 'so' excited, that he cant come - kind of... gets overwhelmed with needing to perform.

Reply 11

skinnyblackjeans

9

Anonymous

Yes I realise this is a not very common and some people may think that I should be grateful but trust me it's slightly annoying after a while.

Basically I'm in a long term relationship although due to still being at school and still living with parents and what not we have only and sex a handful of times. In each of these times it has been great for me but my boyfriend can't seem to orgasm during intercourse and sometimes even foreplay too...it stresses me out cause I feel I'm doing something wrong. We could try for ages and climaxed already and quite sometime later he still isn't there, and it can become slightly painful after a prolonged period. We have tried different positions, one said to be specifically for male pleasure but this hasn't worked ether...and the other very embarrasing problem is...he often slides out quite easily in these positions and then gets frustrated. Nether of us has been with many other people before, so I guess we're not the most experienced and a bit of advice is probably all we need! Thanks

I think what you need to do is create a clam scene for him. guys can get nervous, therefore cant come.
Touch each other, stroke lots of foreplay beofre. DONT RUSH. Also, tell him how good it feels, that'll let him no that he's doing ok, and not to be so nervous.

Take things slow. Doggy is a good position for guys. Also, what about spooning, maybe he get self-consious?? That way he can still hug you.

Reply 12

TrentEnd

2

Practise makes perfect. He's probably just nervous due to lack of experience.

Reply 13

Anonymous #1

OP

Thanks for all the advice guys have noted all your tips and will def try them. :smile:

Im not sure its the relaxation thing because we always take our time, foreplay and get in the mood, and i always let him know when hes hitting the right spots, so he has no reason to feel nervous especially since it isnt a new relationship. We talk about it pretty openly as well so thats luckily not a problem, im gonna tell him some of the advice and see what he says about less masterbation..not sure how that will go down haha!

I am the only one that doesnt find doggy a really easy position? :s-smilie:

Reply 14

mangomaz

14

Maybe you take so much time that he just wont come? Sometimes when my bf and I are having sex and we are doing it for ages but with lots of breaks (theres only so much I can handle sometimes lol) he can keep going but just doesnt ever quite get there. And once its in your head that you probably wont come then you wont come. Sometimes you just need to get in there and build it up very quickly and dont let the pace slow down. Sure it might not last as long but right now probably better you have something to build on!

re: doggy style - yes it can be a tough position! I find in terms of both comfort sometimes as my legs ache lol and also it can be very very intense as it seems to bypass all the 'mmmm feels goooood' feelings to just 'omgomgomgomgomgomgomg'. I can only do it for so long before I collapse in a mess of giggles and euphoria on the bed lol.

Reply 15

ciara

13

Hmm. Are you always trying to do it when your parents in the house? Sounds like it might be a stress thing. Definitely don't build it up and make it a big thing. It's still early days anyway and it's never perfect early on, so give it time. It's also possible he's so worried about coming early that he holds back and then can't do it at all!Banning him from masturbating might well work, but actually asking him to do it would just flag up the issue, put more pressure on him and ultimately probably not give good results.

Reply 16

Anonymous #3

I wouldn't say my current boyfriend has a problem with this as such, but it does happen. But, we know why, and it's not the end of the world when it does. Usually it's any one of these or a combination :smile:

1 - He's circumcised, and generally experiences a bit less sensitivity than other guys might, so whilst this has obvious benefits ( :wink:

) it does mean he has to work a bit harder to start with.
2 - It happens on err.. particularly busy days, ahem. So if he's already climaxed a few times that day. (A good sleep seems to reset the counter :P)
3 - He's overly concerned with my pleasure, so subconsciously holds back until sometimes he just hits a mental block, so even after I have finished, he's not always able.

A combination of 1 & 2 comes from being a bit more tired too.

And number 3 just takes time really, to get that bit more comfortable with one another (still a relatively new relationship). Consciously he KNOWS that it's not the end of the world to me if I don't climax every time, but there's just that little bit that still holds him back. And even when I do, he still can't finish coz of that block. So for example one time when that was the issue, a bit later, I made sure he knew that the whole thing was all just for him, really going to town I guess and spoiling him etc, worked a treat :wink:

Reply 17

Monto_Christe

I had this, tell him to stop ******* all together and see if he doesn't start popping his cap.

Reply 18

Anonymous #1

OP

We're gonna try the no masturbation thing and see how it goes!

And and anon 3, thanks for your post it made sense, I def agree with your point 3, he always puts me first so maybe we need to focus on him a bit more. Advice is great thanks :smile:

Mangomaz...I agree, it can tire my legs out, also the fact somes he slides out, and its nothing to do with size as he is more than above average

Reply 19

Anonymous #3

Yeah for #3 you just gotta try and get him into the frame of mind that it's all about him really, which I think is the most important thing. When I say it "worked a treat" for us, we talked a bit about it afterward, and him being him he apologised because I didn't finish. I was like, no, well the whole point was that I wanted to do stuff that worked for him! And he said "Well I kinda figured :wink:

"

I think our main issue is a combination though personally - it only happens the 3rd or 4th :redface:

time in a day (it's an LDR :wink:

), which means there's more effort needed from both of us which can mean it takes longer for me so his mental block kicks in etc.

It's all pretty new to me though since I've never climaxed from intercourse until now, or from anything that a guy has done! And it's not such a bad issue to need to overcome; the opposite end being the guy who comes too early and believe me, that's NO fun at ALL.

Boyfriend can't come during intercourse

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