Am i being too sensitive or is he a jerk?

Basically I have been with my bf for nearly a year. Hes a bit older than me (Me 22 him 36) and never been the particularly lovey-dovey type and sometimes hes quite inconsiderate at times, but I know he has it in him to be when he wants.But we do have good times together and I believe we do love each other.

But I had an abortion this week, the hardest thing ive ever done- and I dont think he could have been there for me any less if he tried.
He didnt go with me to the appointment because he was working. When I said this to him he said that I never asked him and that if I had he would have cancelled his appointments and meetings , which he didnt offer till after the fact (but does he really need to be told that I might need him there for support, isnt it obvious?) On the morning, he didnt send me a text, i got nothing from him before during or after, even just to say he was thinking of me. And I was feeling lonely and quite distraught so I really needed someone. Especially as he is the only one that knows about it and he knows that. I messaged him saying we needed to talk that night , a couple hours after I got home. And he called multiple times as soon as I sent that text and I said I was tired and upset but nothing to worry about, Could we speak later? He kept calling and eventually i picked up - he said I was cruel to him because I was 'leaving him in suspense' and the phone call was basically him blaming me for being upset. That I couldnt be upset about being on my own because I didnt ask him to come, that I put 'barriers up' and blame him for them. But 2 days later, Ive had no contact or anything barely an acknowledgement of what ive even gone through. The only phonecall we had was him asking if I was going to work that night and when I said I wasnt rotad in he said he thought I was, not thinking for a secind that I might in no way be up for it. But am i being sensitive here or unreasonable. I mean do I really need to tell him what I need in a situation like this. If someone loves you shouldnt they just know you need love and support.What are your thoughts?