I need help Watch
Sometimes thinking about others and volunteering for something we value can be great for us and help build our confidence and give us the sense of doing something of value.
Also could you seek some counselling to help with this feeling? If you feel you've never truly been authentic to yourself then there are probably reasons for this. A good counsellor could help.
There may be free counselling available in your area if you're under 25. Have a look on Mind and Rethink websites.