Being Muslim and gay Watch

Anonymous #2
#41
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#41
(Original post by Anonymous)
hold your tongue and try not to get angry. the only reason i didn't reply back to this person is because there are many people who won't open their minds to understand things, and no amount of words will get them to see reason. allah will help those who want to be helped, allah swt guides whomever he wills. refrain from insulting and getting angry, it's what fuels their fire and gives them even more reason to dislike islam.
i’m not even mad tbh 😂😂😂 but thanks for the advice 💯
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StaffsUniGee
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#42
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Hi there,

First of all, I wanted to let you know that I am really sorry you're going through this. I am not a religious person, so I may not be able to understand fully what you're going through and can't imagine how difficult this must be for you, but I do empathise with you and I understand how hard it is to struggle with your sexual/gender identity.

You've made it very clear that you've tried to repress these feelings and nothing has come of it. I, personally, have never heard of anyone managing to 'stop' being gay. Even people who go through conversion therapy have their feelings resurface over time in every examples I've read - and are then left literally traumatised from being put through this 'therapy' and have nothing to show for it. These feelings and attractions aren't going to go away - this is who you are and there is absolutely nothing wrong with that.

What you need to remember is that being Muslim and being gay are not mutually exclusive things. I may be speaking out of term here, so I sincerely apologise if I've misunderstood your (or anyone else's) faith, but from what I've read and experienced, Allah is a being of love! From excerpts I've found, time and time again, it is said that Allah loves those who love him and do good by others. Don't you think that an all-powerful and merciful being would want you to spread love by being yourself and settling down with someone you truly love, regardless of their gender? If you continue to bury your feelings, you'll only become resentful (particularly towards any female partners you may have), and this could lead to you hurting people because you are hurt.

You falling in love and being in a happy, compassionate relationship with a man hurts no one. Do you think Allah is going to focus on you being in a consenting gay relationship when there are people out there abusing, raping and murdering innocent people? You wanting to pursue a happy relationship is only a positive thing, and I think Allah would be proud of that.

And remember, you're not the only one feeling this way! I, personally, know three LGBT+ Muslims. They all still love Allah and are - in my opinion - good Muslims! You can find a community of gay Muslim people on Imaan (a community for LGBT Muslims in the UK). I'll pop the link here - imaanlondon.wordpress.com

Just a final note - you mentioned you have 'felt like a girl'. Is there any chance you could be transgender? It might be something to think about.

Again, I'm so sorry you're going through this, and I hope you find the best solution for you soon. If you ever need to talk about this, you're welcome to message me privately on here!

Good luck!

- Gee
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BlueIndigoViolet
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#43
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there was a good QT episode on this - understand both sides imo

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mgi
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(Original post by PauI Pogba)
Because we believe the one who practises such acts is committing a major sin which should be looked down upon and not promoted.
They are not promoting anything- thatsxwhat they are! Are you promoting your heterosexuality?And then these so called pious muslim hypocrites confuse the so called major 'sin' with the required compassion for the so called 'sinner' . Some of you haram muslims have almost decided that you are gods! Tell us what the 99 attributes of Allah are and why the homophobic muslim never mentions them.
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mgi
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(Original post by PauI Pogba)
Because we believe the one who practises such acts is committing a major sin which should be looked down upon and not promoted.
They are not promoting anything- thatsxwhat they are! Are you promoting your heterosexuality?And then these so called pious muslim hypocrites confuse the so called major 'sin' with the required compassion for the so called 'sinner' . Some of you haram muslims have almost decided that you are gods! Tell us what the 99 attributes of Allah are and why the homophobic muslim never mentions them.
(Original post by Anonymous)
i'm a muslim, and am still in the process of becoming firm in faith. it's been difficult, and i'll be honest - there was a stage in my life where i truly believed i was bisexual, and closeted. i guess i'm not, as if i was ever interested in a girl, it was only sexual fantasies.

i'll tell you honestly - it IS a test. probably one of the hardest ones from allah. my advice to you is to remain strong in your faith, and don't let this become too much for you. however controversial this might seem - i'm sure your feelings about women will change as time passes on. i suggest reading quran and understanding more about islam - it'll really open your mind and heal you spiritually, wallahi. all i can say to you is to pray to allah to guide you, and help you restrain and control your feelings. inshallah things get better. don't feel condemned because of your feelings - there are any people in the same position as you. don't let it drive you away from islam.

i know two girls who are bisexual and muslim, and unfortunately it seems like they've both turned away from islam, feeling attacked by other muslims and what people say about homosexuality. don't let that be you. the only advice i can give you, without making it seem like i'm condemning you and forcing you to be straight, is to pray to allah. he is all forgiving and the most merciful. and remember: no one is punished for their thoughts. allah swt does not punish anyone for thinking sinful things - it's human nature to have nafs. inshallah, you will be rewarded for your struggle.
the best way is to put aside Islam for a while and look for support from the lgbt community.
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mgi
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#46
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#46
It is not a test. That's who you are: gay!
(Original post by Anonymous)
I dont understand what you mean. Sorry
(Original post by Anonymous)
Thanks for your answer. I understand what you’re trying to say but I suppose having to deal with something for 21 years is a phenomenon that’s not going to change. The thing is that i am not bisexual. Cause that gives a much better choice. I have been thinking for years


I
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lm15
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#47
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(Original post by Anonymous)
I am a practicing Muslim and I love my faith and tend to be good and do good as much as I can. I have been dealing with tough family problems for quite long along with another factor. I am gay and closeted. People say that it’s ones own choice. But how can it be if I felt like a girl since I was 2 or had my first crush when I was 4. Didn’t know what was happening until later. I have tried to abstain from everything but can’t anymore. I still force myself but am unable to. There is no one I can discuss this with. I am on mental health medication as well. People say it’s a test as I’ve read on discussions and one must try to curb desires. But those who are not going through it don’t know. Sometimes it’s as little as having someone to embrace. I would much appreciate a Muslim opinion as it means a lot to me.
Thanks
Hey, I know what your going through. Although I personally don't believe in God, I come from a Muslim family and I am gay. This has been causing me a lot of pain these past months and I have fallen into a dark hole of depression and anxiety. I've been trying so hard to 'fight the gay away' but its just caused me to feel even worse. I know that being gay and Muslim is awful and its not just because of the faith it self but mainly because of family, culture and the community we come from. I have told my mum I'm gay only because it was driving me crazy, and luckily she doesn't hate me but she also doesn't accept it. My mum is under the belief that it is something that I can be fixed and every time I try to talk about it, we just end up arguing with hurtful things being said. I know that if my dad ever found out I would kicked out or disowned, probably both. As for the rest of my family, if I came out I know that will be the end of me. It sucks big time. Right now I'm at school and all this angst is causing my to fall really behind, life is ****. But hey, all I can say is being gay is who you are, don't try to deny it or fight it because that will just make things so much worse. Message me if you like, wouldn't mind talking to someone going through something similar.
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username2524473
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#48
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#48
this is a white washing of what Islam actually teaches. while I appreciate the kindness and the move to reform Islam to a more liberal Islam this is not a representation of what the vast (99%) of Muslims believe. it's a disrortation of reality and it stinks of white liberal privilege.
(Original post by StaffsUniGee)
Hi there,

First of all, I wanted to let you know that I am really sorry you're going through this. I am not a religious person, so I may not be able to understand fully what you're going through and can't imagine how difficult this must be for you, but I do empathise with you and I understand how hard it is to struggle with your sexual/gender identity.

You've made it very clear that you've tried to repress these feelings and nothing has come of it. I, personally, have never heard of anyone managing to 'stop' being gay. Even people who go through conversion therapy have their feelings resurface over time in every examples I've read - and are then left literally traumatised from being put through this 'therapy' and have nothing to show for it. These feelings and attractions aren't going to go away - this is who you are and there is absolutely nothing wrong with that.

What you need to remember is that being Muslim and being gay are not mutually exclusive things. I may be speaking out of term here, so I sincerely apologise if I've misunderstood your (or anyone else's) faith, but from what I've read and experienced, Allah is a being of love! From excerpts I've found, time and time again, it is said that Allah loves those who love him and do good by others. Don't you think that an all-powerful and merciful being would want you to spread love by being yourself and settling down with someone you truly love, regardless of their gender? If you continue to bury your feelings, you'll only become resentful (particularly towards any female partners you may have), and this could lead to you hurting people because you are hurt.

You falling in love and being in a happy, compassionate relationship with a man hurts no one. Do you think Allah is going to focus on you being in a consenting gay relationship when there are people out there abusing, raping and murdering innocent people? You wanting to pursue a happy relationship is only a positive thing, and I think Allah would be proud of that.

And remember, you're not the only one feeling this way! I, personally, know three LGBT+ Muslims. They all still love Allah and are - in my opinion - good Muslims! You can find a community of gay Muslim people on Imaan (a community for LGBT Muslims in the UK). I'll pop the link here - imaanlondon.wordpress.com

Just a final note - you mentioned you have 'felt like a girl'. Is there any chance you could be transgender? It might be something to think about.

Again, I'm so sorry you're going through this, and I hope you find the best solution for you soon. If you ever need to talk about this, you're welcome to message me privately on here!

Good luck!

- Gee
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StaffsUniGee
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#49
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(Original post by punkdilla)
this is a white washing of what Islam actually teaches. while I appreciate the kindness and the move to reform Islam to a more liberal Islam this is not a representation of what the vast (99%) of Muslims believe. it's a disrortation of reality and it stinks of white liberal privilege.
Hi!

I'm really sorry. I never intended for it to come across that way! I completely understand and recognize that I come from a place of privilege and I seriously apologize for speaking out of term.

I am aware that the way I portrayed Islam was unrealistic and idealistic, and I know how much a Muslim person can stand to lose in a situation like this (I have a friend going through this exact thing and it breaks my heart).

I noticed a lot of negativity (which is totally expected and understandable) in this thread and wanted to offer a positive thought, as well as coming from the perspective of an LGBT+ person (I'm trans).

Again, I'm sorry for speaking out of term, and it was never my intention to offend.

- Gee
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username2524473
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#50
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that's ok. you sound very really kind and positive and I think that's a really good approach. I also feel it's important not to paint Islam as good as you describe it. because for the vast majority of Muslims it is not that.
(Original post by StaffsUniGee)
Hi!

I'm really sorry. I never intended for it to come across that way! I completely understand and recognize that I come from a place of privilege and I seriously apologize for speaking out of term.

I am aware that the way I portrayed Islam was unrealistic and idealistic, and I know how much a Muslim person can stand to lose in a situation like this (I have a friend going through this exact thing and it breaks my heart).

I noticed a lot of negativity (which is totally expected and understandable) in this thread and wanted to offer a positive thought, as well as coming from the perspective of an LGBT+ person (I'm trans).

Again, I'm sorry for speaking out of term, and it was never my intention to offend.

- Gee
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Lvaz
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#51
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#51
(Original post by StaffsUniGee)
Hi there,

First of all, I wanted to let you know that I am really sorry you're going through this. I am not a religious person, so I may not be able to understand fully what you're going through and can't imagine how difficult this must be for you, but I do empathise with you and I understand how hard it is to struggle with your sexual/gender identity.

You've made it very clear that you've tried to repress these feelings and nothing has come of it. I, personally, have never heard of anyone managing to 'stop' being gay. Even people who go through conversion therapy have their feelings resurface over time in every examples I've read - and are then left literally traumatised from being put through this 'therapy' and have nothing to show for it. These feelings and attractions aren't going to go away - this is who you are and there is absolutely nothing wrong with that.

What you need to remember is that being Muslim and being gay are not mutually exclusive things. I may be speaking out of term here, so I sincerely apologise if I've misunderstood your (or anyone else's) faith, but from what I've read and experienced, Allah is a being of love! From excerpts I've found, time and time again, it is said that Allah loves those who love him and do good by others. Don't you think that an all-powerful and merciful being would want you to spread love by being yourself and settling down with someone you truly love, regardless of their gender? If you continue to bury your feelings, you'll only become resentful (particularly towards any female partners you may have), and this could lead to you hurting people because you are hurt.

You falling in love and being in a happy, compassionate relationship with a man hurts no one. Do you think Allah is going to focus on you being in a consenting gay relationship when there are people out there abusing, raping and murdering innocent people? You wanting to pursue a happy relationship is only a positive thing, and I think Allah would be proud of that.

And remember, you're not the only one feeling this way! I, personally, know three LGBT+ Muslims. They all still love Allah and are - in my opinion - good Muslims! You can find a community of gay Muslim people on Imaan (a community for LGBT Muslims in the UK). I'll pop the link here - imaanlondon.wordpress.com

Just a final note - you mentioned you have 'felt like a girl'. Is there any chance you could be transgender? It might be something to think about.

Again, I'm so sorry you're going through this, and I hope you find the best solution for you soon. If you ever need to talk about this, you're welcome to message me privately on here!

Good luck!

- Gee
Dear Gee, I’m grateful for taking out time and writing you have been very kind and gracious and I do think I’m transgender, but dont show the obvious effeminate signs due to suppressing those for so long. I admire your willingness to explain things and some things even though you know, it feels good when someone reassured you.
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Johndoeskitty
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#52
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I come from a Muslim family, and am secretly bisexual (although I lean more towards men than to other women). Even my mother told me, gays are not against Islam. It is supposed to be accepted because a person cannot help how their sexuality is. If your family disagrees just know it does not mean you are a bad Muslim at all, they are just narrow minded. I know how Muslim families can be, so it is better to not say anything to them and live your own life when you move out.
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Johndoeskitty
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(Original post by punkdilla)
this is a white washing of what Islam actually teaches. while I appreciate the kindness and the move to reform Islam to a more liberal Islam this is not a representation of what the vast (99%) of Muslims believe. it's a disrortation of reality and it stinks of white liberal privilege.
Actually you are incorrect lol. Islam does indeed teach acceptance such as this, it's not whitewashing whatsoever. My entire family is Muslim and I have a couple of scholar relatives who dedicated their life to studying Islam as well. They all say homosexuality should be accepted. What a lot of 'Muslims' believe is an incorrect interpretation of the Qu'ran which the Saudis and certain other countries had adapted to suit themselves. There are a lot of incorrect versions of the Qu'ran out there. If any so called Muslim believes that it should not be accepted they are simply following extremist rules set by certain countries as a 'precedent' for Islam when the reality is it is all bullsh*t. I'm not white and agree completely with what the poster you quoted previously has said, because they understand the fundamental concept of Islam.
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Anonymous #8
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being gay and being muslim aren’t two separate things, if you can be strong in your faith then why can you not be gay? i believe that as long as you’re a good person morally (eg you try to minimise harm you do to others, be kind, be helpful, be a good human being really) then your sexuality and who you love shouldn’t affect your religion. everything about it being a “test” is bs, many people who say being gay is wrong in the muslim faith with also drink/do drugs or other things that are “banned” in the quran. all in all times have changed since the quran was given to us, and so that mean we can adapt the quran for modern day ( i know many many people will disagree with this) sticking to the core principals of being a good person, being. good muslim but allowing yourself to be who you are also. religion and your own personal happiness work hand in hand, there is no way you can expect yourself to live a life of lies just because people have told you to. and to people who will saying being gay is a sin, then so be it, i can’t imagine falling in love with someone of the same gender is equivalent to murder, rape or even abuse that goes on in typical heterosexual arranged muslim marriages but we are all entitled to our opinion. overall, be true to yourself x
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hunfilm
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#55
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Stick firm to your faith, pray istikhara and make sincere dua for more ease on this test. If you just give in and say "fine I'm gay" "I like girls" the shaytaan has won you over. It's going to be a tough battle, one that will probably last your entire life, but remember, Allah swt bears hardships on people He knows can get through them. I'm personally not homophobic or anything but I'm obviously aware of it's placing in Islam. Try fasting sunnah days to help! Wish you the best, may Allah swt make it easy on you. Ameen.
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Anonymous #9
#56
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(Original post by Anonymous)
I am a practicing Muslim and I love my faith and tend to be good and do good as much as I can. I have been dealing with tough family problems for quite long along with another factor. I am gay and closeted. People say that it’s ones own choice. But how can it be if I felt like a girl since I was 2 or had my first crush when I was 4. Didn’t know what was happening until later. I have tried to abstain from everything but can’t anymore. I still force myself but am unable to. There is no one I can discuss this with. I am on mental health medication as well. People say it’s a test as I’ve read on discussions and one must try to curb desires. But those who are not going through it don’t know. Sometimes it’s as little as having someone to embrace. I would much appreciate a Muslim opinion as it means a lot to me.
Thanks
I will be praying for you, it isn’t easy! I think you need to try and accept how you feel and with that acceptance of yourself it will make it easier to refrain from sinning. We are all sinners at the end of the day but there is power in prayer that makes the impossible, possible! 😊
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Anonymous #10
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I once asked my mum how being gay is haram if God made u like that and she told me that it's shaitaan that's responsible for making people feel that way
I'm not sure if thats true or not but it wud be reasonable I guess
I wud also agree with someone else's comment that it's a test, and for u it wud be the most difficult becuz if u absolutely cannot change and be with girls, then it may mean ull have to be by urself (trying to be as gentle as possible cuz I don't want to hurt feelings or offend anyone)
But think about it, it's a great sin to be with men/women if ur lgbt (story about prophet lut) and if u restrain urself, u will be greatly rewarded in the next life

Sorry we can't rly help u much...wish u the best (and hope u haven't got any hate over this) ❤
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EyestriX
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(Original post by yotsr123)
Tell God to take away the gay within 24 hours and if he can't take away the gay then the gay is here to stay.
Why should those gay people not be given a chance to repent/change?
If you're alive you can change - if you couldn't you'd be dead
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username2524473
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#59
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they say homosexuality should be accepted but homosexual sex is a sin. this is homophobic.
(Original post by Johndoeskitty)
Actually you are incorrect lol. Islam does indeed teach acceptance such as this, it's not whitewashing whatsoever. My entire family is Muslim and I have a couple of scholar relatives who dedicated their life to studying Islam as well. They all say homosexuality should be accepted. What a lot of 'Muslims' believe is an incorrect interpretation of the Qu'ran which the Saudis and certain other countries had adapted to suit themselves. There are a lot of incorrect versions of the Qu'ran out there. If any so called Muslim believes that it should not be accepted they are simply following extremist rules set by certain countries as a 'precedent' for Islam when the reality is it is all bullsh*t. I'm not white and agree completely with what the poster you quoted previously has said, because they understand the fundamental concept of Islam.
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Plantagenet Crown
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(Original post by PauI Pogba)
You should read about the people of Lut and how Allah dealt with such people.
That never happened.
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