Performance issues Watch

Anonymous #1
Report Thread starter 2 weeks ago
Hi all,

So long story short I can achieve an erection but can't keep it, I feel as though I can't please my gf as I feel rushed and not able to enjoy sex.

My only option is to either take Viagra or Cialis but even then they are *****y side effects, which put me off using them. It makes me feel very ashmed and embarrassed.

I've tried talking to my doctor but he has ran all the tests like checking my testosterone and blood tests but it all comes back normal.

I'm really confused wtf is going on my doctor thinks it's related to my anxiety but it's not I can't even masturbate, I just can't even enjoy the small things in life.

Hopefully someone can help as I'm lost on what to do, hopefully Ive posted in the right subreddit.

Badges: 10
Report 2 weeks ago
You have nothing to be ashamed or embarrasses about - you're only human - these things can happen to anyone and no one chooses to have this sort of stuff happen to them.

From what you've said it does sound like it's psychological rather than physiological.

It seems like you are alluding to having poor mental health at the moment. If this is true I'd seek medical support for it and also take some time to do some mental health exercises. Things like: i) eating healthy, ii) exercising, iii) pursuing activities outside of work and the house by joining a club, stating an educational course or volunteering, iv) working on developing positive mental attitude through activities like meditation and positivity.

Where have you left things with your doctor? If my doctor thought I had an anxiety disorder that was harming my quality of life I'd expect to either have some sort of treatment (exercises, medication) or a referral to a psychologist.

Unfortunately, pressure and anxiety can really significantly impact ones libido (it's often the first thing to go so what you're describing is pretty standard). If you start to get stressed or panic your body goes into survival mode, which precludes enjoyable sexual activity and natural function like maintaining an erection. Further, we can create negative associations with things were we have experiences trauma. These can be difficult to unpack but it can be done.

Forcing your body to comply via viagra is likely to deepen the problem as you create a dependency and ignore any root cause.

I'd be open and honest with your partner if you have one. Take a couple months to actively work on your mental wellbeing and try to take the pressure off your sexual expectations. Listen to your body and let it call the shots. I'd also go and see your doctor and discuss how you should progress and how you are feeling.
Last edited by JTfoxlove; 2 weeks ago

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