Short intro piece Watch

Shannon132001
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Report Thread starter 1 week ago
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Hello,
So this is my friends piece and she has given me permission to share this. She did this for her year 12 creative writing in English language. Now obviously she knows she's not going to be the most perfect writer at what was basically her first start in writing. She has two teachers one loves it, the other one not so much. The one who does not like it so much suggested her to write a new piece whereas the other is fighting her corner. This has set her back and she knows there will be flaws in her piece but i believe this is great for her level and needs to stick to this piece. Please give a read and honest opinnion she is now in year 13 and aware she will and can be criticised in certian areas.
Here is a link to read:
https://justpaste.it/Our_unnamed_home
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esralled
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The idea is good. The writing is trash. It's like someone who has never read a book wanted to write a story. Can I ask what makes you think it's great?
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Shannon132001
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Report Thread starter 2 days ago
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I didn't mean great as in like best sellinh author great. Like i said she did this at the start of year 12 and has since improved. My point was that it's good enough to get a good grade. However, thank you for you're honest opinion.
(Original post by esralled)
The idea is good. The writing is trash. It's like someone who has never read a book wanted to write a story. Can I ask what makes you think it's great?
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