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Sex before marriage.. dilema
Ok, can this please be kept anon or deleted immediately, as i think there are people on here who i know and i dont want them knowing for certain reasons...
my boyfriend and i have been together for nearly a year and a half now.
he's a christian, i am an agnostic (not sure about the whole god thing, my local community church that my bf goes to seems a bit corrupt to be honest...but that's another issue..)
we haven't had sex during our entire relationship.
done everything but, but not sex.
recently it's been an issue in our relationship.
i really want to sleep with him...we are really in love, close as ever, talk about everything, he's my best friend.
he thought about it, came to me and said ok, he's thought/prayed about it and thought it was ok. so we set a date.
then he came to me last week and said that he didnt want to do it on that date anymore. i was upset. thought it was personal and it was because he wasnt sure about me etc. but apparently its not, hes not sure because of his faith. something that i dnt personally understand, i cant seem to get to grips with it.
weve done everything but...why not go all the way? oral sex surely, is more intimate than real sex...oral sex same as real sex, all sex at the end of the day.
dont believe in the whole notion of sb4m, but respect his views.
i dont believe u have to wear a big dress and get married in a church to have sex.
we're in love, so why is it so bad? yeah i can understand the whole people-sleeping-around-recklessly being unmoral etc. but if you're in love? why do you need to wear a ring and get married to have sex?
and if you get divorced...how does the whole sex before marriage thing work then?
i dont want to push him into this, because i will feel terrible. but am i being a bitch by being honest with him? i think its good i feel like this. because i would be worried if i didnt want to sleep with him...might as well be best friends! i dont want to at all push him into it...and i know stereotypically, this sitch is the other way round, normally guys pushing girls into it. but after a year and a half... i know people will only say its sex, blablabla, and im not being pressured into doing it or anything by friends. i just want to do it for myself. ok granted, he hasnt said no to it before marriage. he said it might be a bit longer. but its irritating me, getting excited only to be let down.
its frustrating me so much
can anyone help me
or know of anyone they know who's been in this situation
what i could do etc
thanks.. x
my boyfriend and i have been together for nearly a year and a half now.
he's a christian, i am an agnostic (not sure about the whole god thing, my local community church that my bf goes to seems a bit corrupt to be honest...but that's another issue..)
we haven't had sex during our entire relationship.
done everything but, but not sex.
recently it's been an issue in our relationship.
i really want to sleep with him...we are really in love, close as ever, talk about everything, he's my best friend.
he thought about it, came to me and said ok, he's thought/prayed about it and thought it was ok. so we set a date.
then he came to me last week and said that he didnt want to do it on that date anymore. i was upset. thought it was personal and it was because he wasnt sure about me etc. but apparently its not, hes not sure because of his faith. something that i dnt personally understand, i cant seem to get to grips with it.
weve done everything but...why not go all the way? oral sex surely, is more intimate than real sex...oral sex same as real sex, all sex at the end of the day.
dont believe in the whole notion of sb4m, but respect his views.
i dont believe u have to wear a big dress and get married in a church to have sex.
we're in love, so why is it so bad? yeah i can understand the whole people-sleeping-around-recklessly being unmoral etc. but if you're in love? why do you need to wear a ring and get married to have sex?
and if you get divorced...how does the whole sex before marriage thing work then?
i dont want to push him into this, because i will feel terrible. but am i being a bitch by being honest with him? i think its good i feel like this. because i would be worried if i didnt want to sleep with him...might as well be best friends! i dont want to at all push him into it...and i know stereotypically, this sitch is the other way round, normally guys pushing girls into it. but after a year and a half... i know people will only say its sex, blablabla, and im not being pressured into doing it or anything by friends. i just want to do it for myself. ok granted, he hasnt said no to it before marriage. he said it might be a bit longer. but its irritating me, getting excited only to be let down.
its frustrating me so much
can anyone help me
or know of anyone they know who's been in this situation
what i could do etc
thanks..
xScroll to see replies
please...?
If you cant cope without sex, break up with him. You (probably) knew what his stance on sex was before you got together and to want/force him to give up his morals/choices/religions is unfair on him. Its not like he's saying no sex ever, just till marriage (as hard as it sounds).
If you love him enough, you'd wait blah blah blah...
If you love him enough, you'd wait blah blah blah...
OK, I'm going to try not to be glib, because you're obviously very torn up about this, and I think I can help. I grew up going to church and I know a lot of Christian guys and how messed up they get about this issue. I would say that I feel really bad for you, this guy, despite obviously loving you very much, isn't being very fair to you at all. He's struggling with issues that have nothing to do with you, and hurting you in the process - even making you feel like a bitch for just being honest!
So at the moment, he wont sleep with you because of his faith, right? Now, let's just say that he changes his mind or gives in or whatever and says that he will sleep with you. What about afterwards? I dated this Christian guy once before I had any kind of faith, and we got intimate because we loved each other and he gave in. Afterwards, he broke up with me a few days later, because he felt so guilty. I'm just telling you this to warn you, I'd hate to see anyone go through what I did, because it really sucked. My advice would be to tread carefully and be patient for now. Wait for him to bring up the subject, and then talk about it before doing anything. Make sure he's comfortable and he understands the implications of getting intimate with you.
So at the moment, he wont sleep with you because of his faith, right? Now, let's just say that he changes his mind or gives in or whatever and says that he will sleep with you. What about afterwards? I dated this Christian guy once before I had any kind of faith, and we got intimate because we loved each other and he gave in. Afterwards, he broke up with me a few days later, because he felt so guilty. I'm just telling you this to warn you, I'd hate to see anyone go through what I did, because it really sucked. My advice would be to tread carefully and be patient for now. Wait for him to bring up the subject, and then talk about it before doing anything. Make sure he's comfortable and he understands the implications of getting intimate with you.
be honest with him, sure, but don't pressure him. at the end of the day it's completely his decision and if you really do love him as much as you say you do, you'll be happy to wait for him...
it sounds like he isn't ready and is scared of what it means for him spiritually, and that has been a factor in his life far longer than 18 months. speaking from experience, i made the decision to have sex with a long term gf *having believed in no sex before marriage prior to it* and i now regret it more than anything i've ever done. to be honest, he has to be utterly sure, and the only way he'll be sure is if you're supportive of him, whatever he wants...
it sounds like he isn't ready and is scared of what it means for him spiritually, and that has been a factor in his life far longer than 18 months. speaking from experience, i made the decision to have sex with a long term gf *having believed in no sex before marriage prior to it* and i now regret it more than anything i've ever done. to be honest, he has to be utterly sure, and the only way he'll be sure is if you're supportive of him, whatever he wants...
You really shouldn't, ever, EVER, pressure him in to anything. Like someone else said, you could wind up losing him. Basically, you've got to decide if waiting (maybe until marriage, but maybe he'll feel more comfortable after more time has passed, you don't know) is a deal-breaker, and take it from there. You can't MAKE someone have sex, and you're right, if a boy was saying this about a girl, everyone would think he was a bastard.
Anonymous
Ok, can this please be kept anon or deleted immediately, as i think there are people on here who i know and i dont want them knowing for certain reasons...
my boyfriend and i have been together for nearly a year and a half now.
he's a christian, i am an agnostic (not sure about the whole god thing, my local community church that my bf goes to seems a bit corrupt to be honest...but that's another issue..)
we haven't had sex during our entire relationship.
done everything but, but not sex.
recently it's been an issue in our relationship.
i really want to sleep with him...we are really in love, close as ever, talk about everything, he's my best friend.
he thought about it, came to me and said ok, he's thought/prayed about it and thought it was ok. so we set a date.
then he came to me last week and said that he didnt want to do it on that date anymore. i was upset. thought it was personal and it was because he wasnt sure about me etc. but apparently its not, hes not sure because of his faith. something that i dnt personally understand, i cant seem to get to grips with it.
weve done everything but...why not go all the way? oral sex surely, is more intimate than real sex...oral sex same as real sex, all sex at the end of the day.
dont believe in the whole notion of sb4m, but respect his views.
i dont believe u have to wear a big dress and get married in a church to have sex.
we're in love, so why is it so bad? yeah i can understand the whole people-sleeping-around-recklessly being unmoral etc. but if you're in love? why do you need to wear a ring and get married to have sex?
and if you get divorced...how does the whole sex before marriage thing work then?
i dont want to push him into this, because i will feel terrible. but am i being a bitch by being honest with him? i think its good i feel like this. because i would be worried if i didnt want to sleep with him...might as well be best friends! i dont want to at all push him into it...and i know stereotypically, this sitch is the other way round, normally guys pushing girls into it. but after a year and a half... i know people will only say its sex, blablabla, and im not being pressured into doing it or anything by friends. i just want to do it for myself. ok granted, he hasnt said no to it before marriage. he said it might be a bit longer. but its irritating me, getting excited only to be let down.
its frustrating me so much
can anyone help me
or know of anyone they know who's been in this situation
what i could do etc
thanks.. x
my boyfriend and i have been together for nearly a year and a half now.
he's a christian, i am an agnostic (not sure about the whole god thing, my local community church that my bf goes to seems a bit corrupt to be honest...but that's another issue..)
we haven't had sex during our entire relationship.
done everything but, but not sex.
recently it's been an issue in our relationship.
i really want to sleep with him...we are really in love, close as ever, talk about everything, he's my best friend.
he thought about it, came to me and said ok, he's thought/prayed about it and thought it was ok. so we set a date.
then he came to me last week and said that he didnt want to do it on that date anymore. i was upset. thought it was personal and it was because he wasnt sure about me etc. but apparently its not, hes not sure because of his faith. something that i dnt personally understand, i cant seem to get to grips with it.
weve done everything but...why not go all the way? oral sex surely, is more intimate than real sex...oral sex same as real sex, all sex at the end of the day.
dont believe in the whole notion of sb4m, but respect his views.
i dont believe u have to wear a big dress and get married in a church to have sex.
we're in love, so why is it so bad? yeah i can understand the whole people-sleeping-around-recklessly being unmoral etc. but if you're in love? why do you need to wear a ring and get married to have sex?
and if you get divorced...how does the whole sex before marriage thing work then?
i dont want to push him into this, because i will feel terrible. but am i being a bitch by being honest with him? i think its good i feel like this. because i would be worried if i didnt want to sleep with him...might as well be best friends! i dont want to at all push him into it...and i know stereotypically, this sitch is the other way round, normally guys pushing girls into it. but after a year and a half... i know people will only say its sex, blablabla, and im not being pressured into doing it or anything by friends. i just want to do it for myself. ok granted, he hasnt said no to it before marriage. he said it might be a bit longer. but its irritating me, getting excited only to be let down.
its frustrating me so much
can anyone help me
or know of anyone they know who's been in this situation
what i could do etc
thanks..
xThis is a first....the girl wants to push the boy into doing it.
My immaturity aside, I don't think you should force him into it. If you love him, then you;d respect his wishes.
If he really is your best friend, then you two should still be happy without the sex.
Though, I think his stance on 'no sex before marriage' would have some more substance if he hadn't taken part in sexual activity with you already. He seems to have missed the point.
So it's no wonder you feel so frustrated, and you have the right to be in this circumstance. But that doesn't mean you should take it out on your boyfriend. Like some have said already, it will only push him away.
Who knows? Maybe if you began to show an acceptance of no sex before marriage, he would feel more inclined to have sex with you, although I wouldn't use this as a trick to make him change his mind.
Though, I think his stance on 'no sex before marriage' would have some more substance if he hadn't taken part in sexual activity with you already. He seems to have missed the point.
So it's no wonder you feel so frustrated, and you have the right to be in this circumstance. But that doesn't mean you should take it out on your boyfriend. Like some have said already, it will only push him away.
Who knows? Maybe if you began to show an acceptance of no sex before marriage, he would feel more inclined to have sex with you, although I wouldn't use this as a trick to make him change his mind.
thankyou for all your replies!
i know i risk losing him if i keep going on about this. i try to internalise these feelings, and occasionally i get a bit quiet if i get down about it and then my boyfriend asks me whats wrong..and the whole cycle starts again.
he says a month longer...though i dont understand what can be achieved in this extra month.
i do show an acceptance of the whole notion...i have done for the last 18 months. i feel like it's becoming a bit of a block in our relationship. it's the thing that always gets bought up. he's frustrated and wnats to but doesn't want to sacrifice his faith. but tbh, waiting a little extra.. i dont see hwo that is any less sin than it was before. its still sex before marriage essentially. agreed?
i get p*ssed off because i just dont see the line between sex and all the other stuff, (you know what im talking about) i dont see how it is anything less. ive read the bible myself and dont see the evidence explicitly. the song of sommes or whatever it is called was about 2 UNMARRIED lovers. but the thing that made what they were doing holy was their love. i went into this relationship knowing his morals, and i was ok with it. but i don't know if anyone can really appreciate how hard my situation is without being in it, which makes it so frustrating as there seems to be a lack of similar cases
i know i risk losing him if i keep going on about this. i try to internalise these feelings, and occasionally i get a bit quiet if i get down about it and then my boyfriend asks me whats wrong..and the whole cycle starts again.
he says a month longer...though i dont understand what can be achieved in this extra month.
i do show an acceptance of the whole notion...i have done for the last 18 months. i feel like it's becoming a bit of a block in our relationship. it's the thing that always gets bought up. he's frustrated and wnats to but doesn't want to sacrifice his faith. but tbh, waiting a little extra.. i dont see hwo that is any less sin than it was before. its still sex before marriage essentially. agreed?
i get p*ssed off because i just dont see the line between sex and all the other stuff, (you know what im talking about) i dont see how it is anything less. ive read the bible myself and dont see the evidence explicitly. the song of sommes or whatever it is called was about 2 UNMARRIED lovers. but the thing that made what they were doing holy was their love. i went into this relationship knowing his morals, and i was ok with it. but i don't know if anyone can really appreciate how hard my situation is without being in it, which makes it so frustrating as there seems to be a lack of similar cases
Anonymous
thankyou for all your replies!
i know i risk losing him if i keep going on about this. i try to internalise these feelings, and occasionally i get a bit quiet if i get down about it and then my boyfriend asks me whats wrong..and the whole cycle starts again.
he says a month longer...though i dont understand what can be achieved in this extra month.
i do show an acceptance of the whole notion...i have done for the last 18 months. i feel like it's becoming a bit of a block in our relationship. it's the thing that always gets bought up. he's frustrated and wnats to but doesn't want to sacrifice his faith. but tbh, waiting a little extra.. i dont see hwo that is any less sin than it was before. its still sex before marriage essentially. agreed?
i get p*ssed off because i just dont see the line between sex and all the other stuff, (you know what im talking about) i dont see how it is anything less. ive read the bible myself and dont see the evidence explicitly. the song of sommes or whatever it is called was about 2 UNMARRIED lovers. but the thing that made what they were doing holy was their love. i went into this relationship knowing his morals, and i was ok with it. but i don't know if anyone can really appreciate how hard my situation is without being in it, which makes it so frustrating as there seems to be a lack of similar cases
i know i risk losing him if i keep going on about this. i try to internalise these feelings, and occasionally i get a bit quiet if i get down about it and then my boyfriend asks me whats wrong..and the whole cycle starts again.
he says a month longer...though i dont understand what can be achieved in this extra month.
i do show an acceptance of the whole notion...i have done for the last 18 months. i feel like it's becoming a bit of a block in our relationship. it's the thing that always gets bought up. he's frustrated and wnats to but doesn't want to sacrifice his faith. but tbh, waiting a little extra.. i dont see hwo that is any less sin than it was before. its still sex before marriage essentially. agreed?
i get p*ssed off because i just dont see the line between sex and all the other stuff, (you know what im talking about) i dont see how it is anything less. ive read the bible myself and dont see the evidence explicitly. the song of sommes or whatever it is called was about 2 UNMARRIED lovers. but the thing that made what they were doing holy was their love. i went into this relationship knowing his morals, and i was ok with it. but i don't know if anyone can really appreciate how hard my situation is without being in it, which makes it so frustrating as there seems to be a lack of similar cases
I do appreciate how hard it must be. When I said you should show acceptance, I actually don't just mean 'acceptance', because of course you have already done a fair job of it for over 12 months now. But in fact, what I meant to say was that perhaps it might be worth actually encouraging him to not have sex before marriage.
Sounds odd? Yes. But think about it. This will make sense.
He wants to stand by the principle of no sex before marriage. I think he is just putting it off having sex with you for now that is why he's asked to wait for another month. Now think about how much you love him. He doesn't really feel comfortable about having sex. He wants to abstain from sex. So help him achieve this because you love him. He will love you more for it. You will both be even closer as a result. Wouldn't you rather get married to him and have all the sex you want thereafter? Or would you rather have sex now and risk damaging the relationship and losing him?
You will feel better about it if you realise that you could be supportive of him.
Does this make sense? Or is it a load of crap? Be honest! I don't mind criticism.
Christianity is a complicated religion because it's relevance to society has changed as society has changed. Anyone who takes everything the Bible says entirely literally, especially some of the more obscure parts, will find that contradictions arise almost every other line. Don't use the Bible as the guidance over sex before marriage etc. From what i gather, marriage is meant to reflect the marriage of the Church to Christ *read ephesians* and, just as you are only supposed to have one God, you are only supposed to have one sexual partner...remembering that the term marriage is embedded in a concept which did just used to mean union, the physical act of sex. What i'm really trying to say here is that don't try and rationalise his values as far as sex goes, because they won't make sense either way. It's very difficult for a modern male to harmonise Christianity with the expectations and urges current in our society...his doing everything BUT sex is his way of legitimising it and making a sort of compromise between what he wants and what he thinks is right. he just needs time.
Anonymous
we haven't had sex during our entire relationship.
done everything but, but not sex.
recently it's been an issue in our relationship.
i really want to sleep with him...we are really in love, close as ever, talk about everything, he's my best friend.
done everything but, but not sex.
recently it's been an issue in our relationship.
i really want to sleep with him...we are really in love, close as ever, talk about everything, he's my best friend.
If you were that close, and both wanted to have sex, he'd presumably have asked you to marry him...
he thought about it, came to me and said ok, he's thought/prayed about it and thought it was ok. so we set a date.
Hehe.
people-sleeping-around-recklessly being unmoral etc. but if you're in love? why do you need to wear a ring and get married to have sex?
Basically, because sex should be a procreative act. Or, at least, if you give into temptation, it shouldn't take the form of rampant fornication, but should be only with one other person.
and if you get divorced...how does the whole sex before marriage thing work then?
Real Christians don't get divorced. Anything with anyone other than your spouse is simple adultery.
Anonymous
dont believe in the whole notion of sb4m, but respect his views.
i dont believe u have to wear a big dress and get married in a church to have sex.
we're in love, so why is it so bad? yeah i can understand the whole people-sleeping-around-recklessly being unmoral etc. but if you're in love? why do you need to wear a ring and get married to have sex?
dont believe in the whole notion of sb4m, but respect his views.
i dont believe u have to wear a big dress and get married in a church to have sex.
we're in love, so why is it so bad? yeah i can understand the whole people-sleeping-around-recklessly being unmoral etc. but if you're in love? why do you need to wear a ring and get married to have sex?
I'm in kind of the same situation as you, in that I'm agnostic and my bf is Christian, and he refuses to have sex before marriage for religious reasons. We've been going out for nearly 15 months.
What you need to understand is that it isn't because your boyfriend doesn't find you attractive. I've asked my bf to explain his stance before and he says that it isn't just because the Bible says that you shouldn't have sex before marriage, it's because for Christians sex has a spiritual dimension to it in addition to the physical and emotional. Also, for obvious reasons marriage for a Christian is much more than a big dress and a ring! It too has a spiritual dimension to it, and is a sign of ultimate, loving commitment.
I'm paraphrasing and haven't gone into much detail (and I daresay I've forgotten parts of the explanation), so for a better answer it might be an idea to try asking in the religion sub-forum!
I think after 18 months with this guy that you must be pretty emotionally involved. You have to think about whether or not you can last however long until you get married (if you do) without having sex.
Does sex mean more to you than your boyfriend? In my opinion it's a natural part of a relationship, have you discussed the issue in detail with your boyfriend?
Luckily I haven't been in this situation before, but if I was and I really thought I'd loved him, I'd probably wait.
I'm assuming you are a virgin? If so, I can understand why it would be hard to not take that next natural step in your relationship. Being a virgin, you are probably curious about what sex is like etc, which is only natural. But a lot of non-virgins, myself included, will say that sex is not everything. Yes it can be great, but there are other aspects of relationships which are more important.
Anyway, I think you need to talk to him. And you need to get your thoughts together. Do you think you'll regret ending things with him if you do break-up? Or do you think the regret of not having sex earlier will be bigger? Imagine if you do decide to support him, and then you break-up in a couple of years. Will you be annoyed that you "missed out" on however many years of sex? If you think you can cope, and that you really care about this guy, then do your best to support him. Good luck
Does sex mean more to you than your boyfriend? In my opinion it's a natural part of a relationship, have you discussed the issue in detail with your boyfriend?
Luckily I haven't been in this situation before, but if I was and I really thought I'd loved him, I'd probably wait.
I'm assuming you are a virgin? If so, I can understand why it would be hard to not take that next natural step in your relationship. Being a virgin, you are probably curious about what sex is like etc, which is only natural. But a lot of non-virgins, myself included, will say that sex is not everything. Yes it can be great, but there are other aspects of relationships which are more important.
Anyway, I think you need to talk to him. And you need to get your thoughts together. Do you think you'll regret ending things with him if you do break-up? Or do you think the regret of not having sex earlier will be bigger? Imagine if you do decide to support him, and then you break-up in a couple of years. Will you be annoyed that you "missed out" on however many years of sex? If you think you can cope, and that you really care about this guy, then do your best to support him. Good luck
Anonymous
Ok, can this please be kept anon or deleted immediately, as i think there are people on here who i know and i dont want them knowing for certain reasons...
my boyfriend and i have been together for nearly a year and a half now.
he's a christian, i am an agnostic (not sure about the whole god thing, my local community church that my bf goes to seems a bit corrupt to be honest...but that's another issue..)
we haven't had sex during our entire relationship.
done everything but, but not sex.
recently it's been an issue in our relationship.
i really want to sleep with him...we are really in love, close as ever, talk about everything, he's my best friend.
he thought about it, came to me and said ok, he's thought/prayed about it and thought it was ok. so we set a date.
then he came to me last week and said that he didnt want to do it on that date anymore. i was upset. thought it was personal and it was because he wasnt sure about me etc. but apparently its not, hes not sure because of his faith. something that i dnt personally understand, i cant seem to get to grips with it.
weve done everything but...why not go all the way? oral sex surely, is more intimate than real sex...oral sex same as real sex, all sex at the end of the day.
dont believe in the whole notion of sb4m, but respect his views.
i dont believe u have to wear a big dress and get married in a church to have sex.
we're in love, so why is it so bad? yeah i can understand the whole people-sleeping-around-recklessly being unmoral etc. but if you're in love? why do you need to wear a ring and get married to have sex?
and if you get divorced...how does the whole sex before marriage thing work then?
i dont want to push him into this, because i will feel terrible. but am i being a bitch by being honest with him? i think its good i feel like this. because i would be worried if i didnt want to sleep with him...might as well be best friends! i dont want to at all push him into it...and i know stereotypically, this sitch is the other way round, normally guys pushing girls into it. but after a year and a half... i know people will only say its sex, blablabla, and im not being pressured into doing it or anything by friends. i just want to do it for myself. ok granted, he hasnt said no to it before marriage. he said it might be a bit longer. but its irritating me, getting excited only to be let down.
its frustrating me so much
can anyone help me
or know of anyone they know who's been in this situation
what i could do etc
thanks.. x
my boyfriend and i have been together for nearly a year and a half now.
he's a christian, i am an agnostic (not sure about the whole god thing, my local community church that my bf goes to seems a bit corrupt to be honest...but that's another issue..)
we haven't had sex during our entire relationship.
done everything but, but not sex.
recently it's been an issue in our relationship.
i really want to sleep with him...we are really in love, close as ever, talk about everything, he's my best friend.
he thought about it, came to me and said ok, he's thought/prayed about it and thought it was ok. so we set a date.
then he came to me last week and said that he didnt want to do it on that date anymore. i was upset. thought it was personal and it was because he wasnt sure about me etc. but apparently its not, hes not sure because of his faith. something that i dnt personally understand, i cant seem to get to grips with it.
weve done everything but...why not go all the way? oral sex surely, is more intimate than real sex...oral sex same as real sex, all sex at the end of the day.
dont believe in the whole notion of sb4m, but respect his views.
i dont believe u have to wear a big dress and get married in a church to have sex.
we're in love, so why is it so bad? yeah i can understand the whole people-sleeping-around-recklessly being unmoral etc. but if you're in love? why do you need to wear a ring and get married to have sex?
and if you get divorced...how does the whole sex before marriage thing work then?
i dont want to push him into this, because i will feel terrible. but am i being a bitch by being honest with him? i think its good i feel like this. because i would be worried if i didnt want to sleep with him...might as well be best friends! i dont want to at all push him into it...and i know stereotypically, this sitch is the other way round, normally guys pushing girls into it. but after a year and a half... i know people will only say its sex, blablabla, and im not being pressured into doing it or anything by friends. i just want to do it for myself. ok granted, he hasnt said no to it before marriage. he said it might be a bit longer. but its irritating me, getting excited only to be let down.
its frustrating me so much
can anyone help me
or know of anyone they know who's been in this situation
what i could do etc
thanks..
xI think tbh you are going to have to respect his views. Surely you knew this would happen before you got into anything? I think at the end of the day you have to decide whether you can cope with not having sex, or whether you need to end the relationship (or wait until he decides he is ready, if he does that is).
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