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Why does it hurt when I finger myself?

I'm a virgin who has recently began to finger myself. I've always just rubbed my clit and it's felt good, but I've always been afraid to have sex in case it hurts, so decided I would use a dildo/finger myself so I'm not so tight when it happens. I bought a dildo, but it was just too big to go in. A few weeks ago I inserted two fingers inside of my vagina for the first time, all the way in, and I bled a bit but not for long. This was the first time I got my fingers all the way in, and felt like I was breaking through some sort of barrier, so I assume I broke my hymen. I tried fingering myself a second time today, and used lube, and my finger went in all the way again with no difficulty or no bleeding. But when I insert my second finger, it just feels uncomfortable and painful to begin with. When my fingers are finally in, it just feels super tight and there's no pleasure. Is this normal? I'm afraid to try my dildo if it's painful with two fingers, and I don't know what to do to make it better. Please help!

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that's normal and eventually you'll be able to use two and it won't be painful etc

just take your time :smile:
be gentle
Yeah its difficult at first and uncomfortable but eventually it will get better...its just your vagina hasnt been used to stretching like that
Original post by Anonymous
I'm a virgin who has recently began to finger myself. I've always just rubbed my clit and it's felt good, but I've always been afraid to have sex in case it hurts, so decided I would use a dildo/finger myself so I'm not so tight when it happens. I bought a dildo, but it was just too big to go in. A few weeks ago I inserted two fingers inside of my vagina for the first time, all the way in, and I bled a bit but not for long. This was the first time I got my fingers all the way in, and felt like I was breaking through some sort of barrier, so I assume I broke my hymen. I tried fingering myself a second time today, and used lube, and my finger went in all the way again with no difficulty or no bleeding. But when I insert my second finger, it just feels uncomfortable and painful to begin with. When my fingers are finally in, it just feels super tight and there's no pleasure. Is this normal? I'm afraid to try my dildo if it's painful with two fingers, and I don't know what to do to make it better. Please help!
Reply 4
thank you to all the people that responded..I'm a virgin and recently inserted 2 fingers and it hurt kinda but now I know its normal...thx
oof when u single be like
Oof I’m virgin too. A couple days ago I started fingering myself, and I stuck in two fingers...well it felt like nothing, but when I tried doing it yesterday it hurt and I was like “oop never mind **** this I’ll just hump my plushie”. Now that I know why I’ll just get my vagina use to the stretching and stuff.
1. You just made yourself bleed. Usually when you have an accident you should leave it for a bit.

2. Arouse yourself along with using the lube. You'll know when your vagina is aroused as opposed to not so much when it starts to excrete and the inside feels super "silky and soft" and just cushiony. You can't really find arousing areas before this point. Anyway, start making slow strokes and eventually you should be able to detect pleasurable areas to rub or hit. "Hit" because sometimes you can find a spot at the end you thrust towards versus closer to the entrance which you rub.

3. If you struggle to find pleasure through insertion atm or fingers feel uncomfortable, it's already great you can fit one and barely 2 atm tbh. But my advice is to spend time on a regular basis just using lube and leaving your finger inside for as long as you can. This will allow your muscles to get used to external entry and the feeling of your fingers. Eventually you can build up the number of fingers. One way to do this is in a neutral and relaxed setting, another way is when you're masturbating clitoraly and using that state of arousal plus lube to enter a finger. Not to finger yourself, but to do what I described in this suggestion.

4. Dialators are a good option if you just cant stand the feeling of your fingers. They look a bit medical and scary when you google them but you can find an affordable and non threatening pink set on stressnomore. You're already way ahead if you can put *some* fingers in. Gradually building up in size can get you to fit your dildo eventually as well.

Also ik this is an old post, so how are you with this? Hope my comments helps others. :smile:)
What's the point of going anonymous when you reply using your account OP.
I have never had sex but I wanted to know how it would feel to get fingered in my private’s so I tried to finger myself but I could get my finger in it hurt too much please help give me advice on what I could do so I can get my finger in easy without it hurting to much
This happened to me when I was 24 living on my own and well it did hurt. It is very normal. I have realized doing it a lot is not comfortable. My question is if you do this are you still a virgin?
The first time I used two fingers, I wasn't even able to walk properly for the rest of the day and my lower body would hurt a lot to the point of my legs kinda trembling and struggling to look like nothing's wrong with me in front of the others. I don't understand this. After fapping with one finger for some time, the other finger easily went in and yeah it did feel a bit uncomfortable. But then why did it hurt so much after that? .
Original post by Anonymous
I'm a virgin who has recently began to finger myself. I've always just rubbed my clit and it's felt good, but I've always been afraid to have sex in case it hurts, so decided I would use a dildo/finger myself so I'm not so tight when it happens. I bought a dildo, but it was just too big to go in. A few weeks ago I inserted two fingers inside of my vagina for the first time, all the way in, and I bled a bit but not for long. This was the first time I got my fingers all the way in, and felt like I was breaking through some sort of barrier, so I assume I broke my hymen. I tried fingering myself a second time today, and used lube, and my finger went in all the way again with no difficulty or no bleeding. But when I insert my second finger, it just feels uncomfortable and painful to begin with. When my fingers are finally in, it just feels super tight and there's no pleasure. Is this normal? I'm afraid to try my dildo if it's painful with two fingers, and I don't know what to do to make it better. Please help!

When I first started fingering my self for the first time it didn’t hurt at all. Is it normal to not feel pain the first time a person fingers themselves?
Original post by Anonymous
When I first started fingering my self for the first time it didn’t hurt at all. Is it normal to not feel pain the first time a person fingers themselves?

How many fingers did u fap with, for your "first time"?
Original post by Anonymous
I'm a virgin who has recently began to finger myself. I've always just rubbed my clit and it's felt good, but I've always been afraid to have sex in case it hurts, so decided I would use a dildo/finger myself so I'm not so tight when it happens. I bought a dildo, but it was just too big to go in. A few weeks ago I inserted two fingers inside of my vagina for the first time, all the way in, and I bled a bit but not for long. This was the first time I got my fingers all the way in, and felt like I was breaking through some sort of barrier, so I assume I broke my hymen. I tried fingering myself a second time today, and used lube, and my finger went in all the way again with no difficulty or no bleeding. But when I insert my second finger, it just feels uncomfortable and painful to begin with. When my fingers are finally in, it just feels super tight and there's no pleasure. Is this normal? I'm afraid to try my dildo if it's painful with two fingers, and I don't know what to do to make it better. Please help!

Finger your ******* instead
same idk what to do it hurts so bad , me and my bf wanted to like do something but i keep declining as i’m scared i’ll just ruin it for him by it being painful
Use only one finger one time i did it and it didn’t hurt trust me ohhh but you have to get your vagina wet first to be able to stick it in
Original post by Anonymous
I'm a virgin who has recently began to finger myself. I've always just rubbed my clit and it's felt good, but I've always been afraid to have sex in case it hurts, so decided I would use a dildo/finger myself so I'm not so tight when it happens. I bought a dildo, but it was just too big to go in. A few weeks ago I inserted two fingers inside of my vagina for the first time, all the way in, and I bled a bit but not for long. This was the first time I got my fingers all the way in, and felt like I was breaking through some sort of barrier, so I assume I broke my hymen. I tried fingering myself a second time today, and used lube, and my finger went in all the way again with no difficulty or no bleeding. But when I insert my second finger, it just feels uncomfortable and painful to begin with. When my fingers are finally in, it just feels super tight and there's no pleasure. Is this normal? I'm afraid to try my dildo if it's painful with two fingers, and I don't know what to do to make it better. Please help!


Might be vaginismus I would go to the doctors if I were you.
I am having this same issue, too, but it isn’t related to stretching!!

I’m not a virgin (tho it’s been so long I I might as well be...), and this issue has always plagued my masturbation.

With dildos, or during actual sex, I don’t have this pain.. only when it is my own finger, there is one particular spot inside just near the opening that feels like an uncomfortable scratch or even a burn. It has been a problem since I was a virgin (so over 10 years ago now) and it only happens when I do it to myself. It’s on the finger-side (as opposed to the nail-side) and frankly I’ve never been able to figure it out. :frown: i feel that spot matter how gentle.

90% of the time I give up on that & just go for the clit, but if anyone has had a similar experience & knows how to stop it, I’m all ears.
To the op, this is perfectly normal. It took me a long time before I was comfortable with 2 fingers. Just make sure you are relaxed and well aroused. Oh, and enjoy yourself.

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