How my mother made me want to kill her Watch

Mruczega
Badges: 12
Rep:
?
#1
Report Thread starter 1 week ago
#1
When most people hear the word " mum" they think of a loving and caring woman who took care of a child from birth with great affection. My mother was none of those things.

I can still remember when I was a little girl, no more than 9. I was hiding in the bathroom while petting my beloved cat Alexandra as I cried. Just as usually my mother began shouting, screaming and hitting me as soon as we got back home. "Clean faster," "You did this wrong," she would say. This was a daily occurrence and made me hate her to the point of wanting to kill her from a very young age. She was letting her anger from her job onto me.

On the other hand, she did attempt to get me educated. Every once in a while she would sit me down for a few hours, which felt like an eternity and force me to study things I didn't even need to know. That really made me hate school and education in general. Some of you might be thinking that, oh she was trying to make sure I have a better future but no. Every once in a while she would tell me that I am to get a good job when I grow up and pay for everything for her because she raised me. She still goes about it to this day but now that I'm 17 she also started to tell me to move the **** out and get a job. Began when I was 16. I do plan to leave as soon as I can but I got to live with her till I'm 18 because I need ID and I also need the Brexit thing to get sorted. She ruined my education and doesn't want me to continue it.

This was way before I was 9 (probably 1-3) but I remember how she left me with my dad who was a huge **** just like her. She told me about how when she decided to come and get me I had dirt under my nails. my hair was like a net and I looked like I haven't been bathed for months. Nowadays if I disobey her she tells me to go back to my dad (no passport so even if he wasn't a huge ******* that wouldn't be possible.)

My mum never stops complaining. I babysit her 1-year-old child 24/7. If I try to leave the house for a walk or something she will scream and shout at me. Sometimes she starts shouting "GET THE **** OUT" till I do. Happened today but most of the time is "don't you read the house, I need to rest."

My mum basically dates around a lot, she got a few guys at the moment and often meets with her *****y friend. They go to a party for what's supposed to be a few hours but I'm lucky if they are back the next day by noon. All she does all day long is text her boyfriends.

Let's talk about money. She spends nothing on me. I got one pair of pants that I stole from her and some 3+-year-old shirts and a 1 4-year-old pair of boots that I got as a gift from someone else. I steal from her wallet to buy food and have done so since I was young cuz she won't feed me. She keeps going on rants about she will take everything I have away etc. Like *****, I steal money from you to buy myself food. What you gonna take away?

Oh yeah, if this wasn't clear enough let me let you in on a little something. Her ex-boyfriend's dog attacked me many times. I have scars on my hand and arm. Had to go to the hospital because I needed stitches. It hurt so much. I still have a huge scar. Basically, the dog would "freak out" and become really aggressive from time to time and has decided to make me it's prey. It tried to kill me. If I didn't run for my life and used my arm to cover my neck and keep the dog's teeth I would have been dead.

Her ex-boyfriend who we lived with wasn't any better. He would turn the internet off for me, ban me from eating certain things in the house, screamed at me, insulted me, threatened me with his dog and even played loud music at 3 am when I had school. My mum said nothing. I had to clean the whole house and didn't have much time for school. I was their maid.

I am thinking of writing a whole essay on how she was *****y towards me.

I think she was being abusive towards me. Even nowadays I still find it hard to talk back to her. I have been getting better at it, I will be 18 in October and will finally be free again.
1
reply
Mruczega
Badges: 12
Rep:
?
#2
Report Thread starter 1 week ago
#2
For all I know someday she might cross the line and I might do it
0
reply
Anonymous #1
#3
Report 1 week ago
#3
All I can tell you is to hold in there for these last few months. Your mother will probably realise your intentions for when you turn 18 and she may try her best to stop that. You can almost think of it as a rite of passage into adulthood in the sense that she may be constantly be encouraging you to ruin your adulthood (intentionally or not). The smallest of a silver lining that I can see is that now you have a counter-role model for your life, suppose you do the opposite of those harmful people in your life, that would mean that to the vast majority of people you would be a saint. Imo there are a few people who may want to harm those closest to them but oftentimes the thing that keeps them from doing so is the idea of their success despite their circumstances.
Posted on the TSR App. Download from Apple or Google Play
reply
Royal Oak
Badges: 19
Rep:
?
#4
Report 1 week ago
#4
Errr...
7
reply
MiszShorTea765
Badges: 10
Rep:
?
#5
Report 1 week ago
#5
(Original post by Royal Oak)
Errr...
At least you had some kind of response. I was flabbergasted and didn’t know what to reply.
2
reply
Royal Oak
Badges: 19
Rep:
?
#6
Report 1 week ago
#6
(Original post by MiszShorTea765)
At least you had some kind of response. I was flabbergasted and didn’t know what to reply.
I don't have facebook or any other social media. So when I wake up in the morning I eventually end up checking TSR like others do with their social media. I have now come to expect that one thread I read first thing that will make me facepalm. This is today's thread.
2
reply
Anonymous #2
#7
Report 1 week ago
#7
Hang in there I know it’s hard, because I’m going through the same problem. But you have to be strong so we can get out, don’t let her as you weaken and don’t make her break you.
Posted on the TSR App. Download from Apple or Google Play
reply
squeakysquirrel
Badges: 20
Rep:
?
#8
Report 1 week ago
#8
(Original post by Mruczega)
When most people hear the word " mum" they think of a loving and caring woman who took care of a child from birth with great affection. My mother was none of those things.

I can still remember when I was a little girl, no more than 9. I was hiding in the bathroom while petting my beloved cat Alexandra as I cried. Just as usually my mother began shouting, screaming and hitting me as soon as we got back home. "Clean faster," "You did this wrong," she would say. This was a daily occurrence and made me hate her to the point of wanting to kill her from a very young age. She was letting her anger from her job onto me.

On the other hand, she did attempt to get me educated. Every once in a while she would sit me down for a few hours, which felt like an eternity and force me to study things I didn't even need to know. That really made me hate school and education in general. Some of you might be thinking that, oh she was trying to make sure I have a better future but no. Every once in a while she would tell me that I am to get a good job when I grow up and pay for everything for her because she raised me. She still goes about it to this day but now that I'm 17 she also started to tell me to move the **** out and get a job. Began when I was 16. I do plan to leave as soon as I can but I got to live with her till I'm 18 because I need ID and I also need the Brexit thing to get sorted. She ruined my education and doesn't want me to continue it.

This was way before I was 9 (probably 1-3) but I remember how she left me with my dad who was a huge **** just like her. She told me about how when she decided to come and get me I had dirt under my nails. my hair was like a net and I looked like I haven't been bathed for months. Nowadays if I disobey her she tells me to go back to my dad (no passport so even if he wasn't a huge ******* that wouldn't be possible.)

My mum never stops complaining. I babysit her 1-year-old child 24/7. If I try to leave the house for a walk or something she will scream and shout at me. Sometimes she starts shouting "GET THE **** OUT" till I do. Happened today but most of the time is "don't you read the house, I need to rest."

My mum basically dates around a lot, she got a few guys at the moment and often meets with her *****y friend. They go to a party for what's supposed to be a few hours but I'm lucky if they are back the next day by noon. All she does all day long is text her boyfriends.

Let's talk about money. She spends nothing on me. I got one pair of pants that I stole from her and some 3+-year-old shirts and a 1 4-year-old pair of boots that I got as a gift from someone else. I steal from her wallet to buy food and have done so since I was young cuz she won't feed me. She keeps going on rants about she will take everything I have away etc. Like *****, I steal money from you to buy myself food. What you gonna take away?

Oh yeah, if this wasn't clear enough let me let you in on a little something. Her ex-boyfriend's dog attacked me many times. I have scars on my hand and arm. Had to go to the hospital because I needed stitches. It hurt so much. I still have a huge scar. Basically, the dog would "freak out" and become really aggressive from time to time and has decided to make me it's prey. It tried to kill me. If I didn't run for my life and used my arm to cover my neck and keep the dog's teeth I would have been dead.

Her ex-boyfriend who we lived with wasn't any better. He would turn the internet off for me, ban me from eating certain things in the house, screamed at me, insulted me, threatened me with his dog and even played loud music at 3 am when I had school. My mum said nothing. I had to clean the whole house and didn't have much time for school. I was their maid.

I am thinking of writing a whole essay on how she was *****y towards me.

I think she was being abusive towards me. Even nowadays I still find it hard to talk back to her. I have been getting better at it, I will be 18 in October and will finally be free again.
Well it sounds a pretty awful situation.

You can leave home now but I wouldn't advise it.

Come October move towns. Get any job and rent a room in a shared house. If you haven't got an education get one or get an apprenticeship.

Not every parent is great and your mum sounds awful. My parents weren't great either. I was left alone for weeks at a time while they went abroad. I was 12. I was abused by a family friend at 9. When I told my parents somehow it was my fault. My dad tried to commit suicide so many times and eventually succeeded.

These incidents can break you or make you determined. I left home at 18 and didn't go back. I am now educated with a degree and a profession. I hope you will do the same. As a parent I tried to be everything my parents weren't. I think I did it because I have 3 lovely kids. Good luck
3
reply
MiszShorTea765
Badges: 10
Rep:
?
#9
Report 1 week ago
#9
(Original post by Royal Oak)
I don't have facebook or any other social media. So when I wake up in the morning I eventually end up checking TSR like others do with their social media. I have now come to expect that one thread I read first thing that will make me facepalm. This is today's thread.
It is quite an extraordinary circumstances to be in. Just hope OP doesn’t go on a whim and act according to their desires for a devastating outcome.
0
reply
Mruczega
Badges: 12
Rep:
?
#10
Report Thread starter 1 week ago
#10
(Original post by Anonymous)
All I can tell you is to hold in there for these last few months. Your mother will probably realise your intentions for when you turn 18 and she may try her best to stop that. You can almost think of it as a rite of passage into adulthood in the sense that she may be constantly be encouraging you to ruin your adulthood (intentionally or not). The smallest of a silver lining that I can see is that now you have a counter-role model for your life, suppose you do the opposite of those harmful people in your life, that would mean that to the vast majority of people you would be a saint. Imo there are a few people who may want to harm those closest to them but oftentimes the thing that keeps them from doing so is the idea of their success despite their circumstances.
Yeah, I do plan to stick in there for the next few months. I can't wait to be 18, at 18 I'm gonna go into whatever job I can get. Probably a workhouse cuz I wasn't able to do my A levels. Honestly, I do have some friends that will help me out.
0
reply
Mruczega
Badges: 12
Rep:
?
#11
Report Thread starter 1 week ago
#11
(Original post by MiszShorTea765)
At least you had some kind of response. I was flabbergasted and didn’t know what to reply.
I don't really know how to feel about this either but I'm just going with it an trying to make the best of it.
0
reply
Mruczega
Badges: 12
Rep:
?
#12
Report Thread starter 1 week ago
#12
(Original post by Royal Oak)
I don't have facebook or any other social media. So when I wake up in the morning I eventually end up checking TSR like others do with their social media. I have now come to expect that one thread I read first thing that will make me facepalm. This is today's thread.
I can relate to not having social media. Though I don't really get what made you facepalm at this.
0
reply
Bio 7
Badges: 21
Rep:
?
#13
Report 1 week ago
#13
When I think of the word mum I get uncomfortable and think of a woman that leaves me at school for hours after it ends because she has been p*ssed all day and will be p*ssed still for weeks to come.
I won't go into anymore as this isn't my thread but you aren't the only one with a bad mother OP.
Posted on the TSR App. Download from Apple or Google Play
1
reply
Pathway
Badges: 20
Rep:
?
#14
Report 1 week ago
#14
You should talk to someone. Especially now as you've put this on the internet.
0
reply
Georginio
Badges: 3
Rep:
?
#15
Report 1 week ago
#15
(Original post by Mruczega)
When most people hear the word " mum" they think of a loving and caring woman who took care of a child from birth with great affection. My mother was none of those things.

I can still remember when I was a little girl, no more than 9. I was hiding in the bathroom while petting my beloved cat Alexandra as I cried. Just as usually my mother began shouting, screaming and hitting me as soon as we got back home. "Clean faster," "You did this wrong," she would say. This was a daily occurrence and made me hate her to the point of wanting to kill her from a very young age. She was letting her anger from her job onto me.

On the other hand, she did attempt to get me educated. Every once in a while she would sit me down for a few hours, which felt like an eternity and force me to study things I didn't even need to know. That really made me hate school and education in general. Some of you might be thinking that, oh she was trying to make sure I have a better future but no. Every once in a while she would tell me that I am to get a good job when I grow up and pay for everything for her because she raised me. She still goes about it to this day but now that I'm 17 she also started to tell me to move the **** out and get a job. Began when I was 16. I do plan to leave as soon as I can but I got to live with her till I'm 18 because I need ID and I also need the Brexit thing to get sorted. She ruined my education and doesn't want me to continue it.

This was way before I was 9 (probably 1-3) but I remember how she left me with my dad who was a huge **** just like her. She told me about how when she decided to come and get me I had dirt under my nails. my hair was like a net and I looked like I haven't been bathed for months. Nowadays if I disobey her she tells me to go back to my dad (no passport so even if he wasn't a huge ******* that wouldn't be possible.)

My mum never stops complaining. I babysit her 1-year-old child 24/7. If I try to leave the house for a walk or something she will scream and shout at me. Sometimes she starts shouting "GET THE **** OUT" till I do. Happened today but most of the time is "don't you read the house, I need to rest."

My mum basically dates around a lot, she got a few guys at the moment and often meets with her *****y friend. They go to a party for what's supposed to be a few hours but I'm lucky if they are back the next day by noon. All she does all day long is text her boyfriends.

Let's talk about money. She spends nothing on me. I got one pair of pants that I stole from her and some 3+-year-old shirts and a 1 4-year-old pair of boots that I got as a gift from someone else. I steal from her wallet to buy food and have done so since I was young cuz she won't feed me. She keeps going on rants about she will take everything I have away etc. Like *****, I steal money from you to buy myself food. What you gonna take away?

Oh yeah, if this wasn't clear enough let me let you in on a little something. Her ex-boyfriend's dog attacked me many times. I have scars on my hand and arm. Had to go to the hospital because I needed stitches. It hurt so much. I still have a huge scar. Basically, the dog would "freak out" and become really aggressive from time to time and has decided to make me it's prey. It tried to kill me. If I didn't run for my life and used my arm to cover my neck and keep the dog's teeth I would have been dead.

Her ex-boyfriend who we lived with wasn't any better. He would turn the internet off for me, ban me from eating certain things in the house, screamed at me, insulted me, threatened me with his dog and even played loud music at 3 am when I had school. My mum said nothing. I had to clean the whole house and didn't have much time for school. I was their maid.

I am thinking of writing a whole essay on how she was *****y towards me.

I think she was being abusive towards me. Even nowadays I still find it hard to talk back to her. I have been getting better at it, I will be 18 in October and will finally be free again.
Killing her will do you no good. You'd just go to prison and f*k up ur life. Dont ask anyone else to kill her either as this can be traced back to you. Don't stage a suicide. If anything then just run away but homicide is not worth the risk (unless you don't mind prison of course)
0
reply
Lilligant22
Badges: 19
Rep:
?
#16
Report 1 week ago
#16
If it's true what you say about her not feeding you and that you are starving, you can report this. You are under 18 and therefore a child, and so this is pretty much child abuse. It's up to you whether you report it, but just know that she has a one year old child - who is at the beginning of their lifetime - who is likely going to suffer 17 years of abuse from her before they can be free.

That aside, you're admirable for enduring all of it. Nobody deserves to be treated that way. I just hope that it doesn't encourage you to perceive all people negatively.
2
reply
MiszShorTea765
Badges: 10
Rep:
?
#17
Report 1 week ago
#17
(Original post by Mruczega)
I don't really know how to feel about this either but I'm just going with it an trying to make the best of it.
I’m not implying you’ll do anything silly but please don’t do anything on a whim.

Continuously ponder over your actions as they can have devastating outcomes.

I wish you all the best.
0
reply
Mruczega
Badges: 12
Rep:
?
#18
Report Thread starter 1 week ago
#18
(Original post by squeakysquirrel)
Well it sounds a pretty awful situation.

You can leave home now but I wouldn't advise it.

Come October move towns. Get any job and rent a room in a shared house. If you haven't got an education get one or get an apprenticeship.

Not every parent is great and your mum sounds awful. My parents weren't great either. I was left alone for weeks at a time while they went abroad. I was 12. I was abused by a family friend at 9. When I told my parents somehow it was my fault. My dad tried to commit suicide so many times and eventually succeeded.

These incidents can break you or make you determined. I left home at 18 and didn't go back. I am now educated with a degree and a profession. I hope you will do the same. As a parent I tried to be everything my parents weren't. I think I did it because I have 3 lovely kids. Good luck
Well, I do plan to get out at 18 (once I have my passport) and to rent a small room. I noticed that there are ones in a big city near me for £250 a month and I think they will more than do. I think I will do my A levels after I save up a bit of cash and take care of my health (weight and mental issues.) I am starting to work on them but won't be able to do much about the mental issues part cuz getting to leave the house is very difficult with her around.

Damn, the thing with your dad must have been painful to see. What happened to you when you were 9 wasn't your fault, hope you have no contact with them. I think it's great that you aim to not be like your parents. From what you told me they sounded irresponsible and manipulative.

Well, determination it is for me. I can't let myself be broken and stuff cuz that will be like stabbing myself in the back by getting into what she wants. I keep telling her that I will be out when I can during arguments (screaming matches) but she says that I will be nothing without her. I'm gonna show her. I already did the basic maths on what I can be made on minimum wage (without considering taxes) but on my own with my lack of expenses, just rent food, bills I should be able to save some up. At first, I will have to invest in clothing, a hair cut and all the basic things such as a deposit for the room but after that, it should be going smooth.
0
reply
Mruczega
Badges: 12
Rep:
?
#19
Report Thread starter 1 week ago
#19
(Original post by MiszShorTea765)
It is quite an extraordinary circumstances to be in. Just hope OP doesn’t go on a whim and act according to their desires for a devastating outcome.
Won't do. I mean I might do it a few years in the future where there will be very little reason to think that it's me but not right now. Honestly, she and her ex are the main people I want dead or to **** over.

There are a lot of things I haven't mentioned cuz if I tried to write it all out I would be here for a very long time. But I'm gonna be short and give some extra details.

Her ex - Stole/ bribed/ assaulted/ threatened/ abused etc. other people like his exes or people that he robbed when he was in his 20s. The guy works in a well-known car-related company and makes good money. He does learn fighting techniques and different fighting styles.

My mum - Complete neglect, abuse, mostly stuff I mentioned on here but for each thing there are more examples. Btw she steals **** too and is very self-centered.

There is more but I would rather not say too much cuz this **** isn't something you hear that often and honestly I am living in a certain place I can't talk about.

Both of them pretend to be nice ideal people in front of others. Hosting BBQs, parties and inviting people over. Acting nice even after an argument and stuff in front of others.
0
reply
Professional G
Badges: 22
Rep:
?
#20
Report 1 week ago
#20
(Original post by Mruczega)
Won't do. I mean I might do it a few years in the future where there will be very little reason to think that it's me but not right now. Honestly, she and her ex are the main people I want dead or to **** over.

There are a lot of things I haven't mentioned cuz if I tried to write it all out I would be here for a very long time. But I'm gonna be short and give some extra details.

Her ex - Stole/ bribed/ assaulted/ threatened/ abused etc. other people like his exes or people that he robbed when he was in his 20s. The guy works in a well-known car-related company and makes good money. He does learn fighting techniques and different fighting styles.

My mum - Complete neglect, abuse, mostly stuff I mentioned on here but for each thing there are more examples. Btw she steals **** too and is very self-centered.

There is more but I would rather not say too much cuz this **** isn't something you hear that often and honestly I am living in a certain place I can't talk about.

Both of them pretend to be nice ideal people in front of others. Hosting BBQs, parties and inviting people over. Acting nice even after an argument and stuff in front of others.
How are you gonna get your revenge?
I recommend basically being more successful than her. Find yourself a guy who will support and never cheat on you, get yourself some grades, go to uni or get a well paid job and you’ll already be making her jealous
Posted on the TSR App. Download from Apple or Google Play
0
reply
X

Quick Reply

Attached files
Write a reply...
Reply
new posts
Latest
My Feed

See more of what you like on
The Student Room

You can personalise what you see on TSR. Tell us a little about yourself to get started.

Personalise

Where do you need more help?

Which Uni should I go to? (89)
16.57%
How successful will I become if I take my planned subjects? (55)
10.24%
How happy will I be if I take this career? (96)
17.88%
How do I achieve my dream Uni placement? (81)
15.08%
What should I study to achieve my dream career? (54)
10.06%
How can I be the best version of myself? (162)
30.17%

Watched Threads

View All
Latest
My Feed

See more of what you like on
The Student Room

You can personalise what you see on TSR. Tell us a little about yourself to get started.

Personalise