How kind is too kind. Watch

Anonymous #1
#1
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I always always have and still do put others before myself. Someone said to me "do not let your kind nature be exploited by anyone"- I just care a lot about everyone: regardless of whether they're people who I know or just strangers. I cannot help but care about people. I'm at a time in my life right now where I'm putting my parents decision about my future first (even though I personally do not agree with it) but I just genuinely do not want to and cannot possibly see my parents or anyone else hurt.
Sometimes I wish I wasn't so kind and sympathetic but i can't stop myself even from worrying about the tiniest things.

I'd much rather hurt myself then see anyone else hurt! Whether that's a good trait to have or not I really do not know. Someone (a teacher) said to me "you need to do what makes you happiest" but it's really difficult for me.
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Anonymous #1
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PhoenixFortune
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#3
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(Original post by Anonymous)
I always always have and still do put others before myself. Someone said to me "do not let your kind nature be exploited by anyone"- I just care a lot about everyone: regardless of whether they're people who I know or just strangers. I cannot help but care about people. I'm at a time in my life right now where I'm putting my parents decision about my future first (even though I personally do not agree with it) but I just genuinely do not want to and cannot possibly see my parents or anyone else hurt.
Sometimes I wish I wasn't so kind and sympathetic but i can't stop myself even from worrying about the tiniest things.

I'd much rather hurt myself then see anyone else hurt! Whether that's a good trait to have or not I really do not know. Someone (a teacher) said to me "you need to do what makes you happiest" but it's really difficult for me.
What do you want advice about exactly? How not to be so nice or how to get your parents to let you do what you want?
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Tilzwas
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#4
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I've always been someone who will put other people before myself, until I started to realise how much I was holding myself back and was actually becoming quite unhappy with myself and my life. You can still be lovely and kind to people, but never at the expense of your own happiness. You need to put yourself first, and that's not an easy thing to do, trust me I know! But it is possible, you won't be able to keep everyone happy all the time in your life and that's something that you've got to accept, otherwise you're going to be miserable trying. You're the most important person in your life, so focus on what makes you happy!
(Original post by Anonymous)
I always always have and still do put others before myself. Someone said to me "do not let your kind nature be exploited by anyone"- I just care a lot about everyone: regardless of whether they're people who I know or just strangers. I cannot help but care about people. I'm at a time in my life right now where I'm putting my parents decision about my future first (even though I personally do not agree with it) but I just genuinely do not want to and cannot possibly see my parents or anyone else hurt.
Sometimes I wish I wasn't so kind and sympathetic but i can't stop myself even from worrying about the tiniest things.

I'd much rather hurt myself then see anyone else hurt! Whether that's a good trait to have or not I really do not know. Someone (a teacher) said to me "you need to do what makes you happiest" but it's really difficult for me.
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Awais Ahsan
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#5
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#5
Too kind is to the point where you are treated like a doormat.
(Original post by Anonymous)
I always always have and still do put others before myself. Someone said to me "do not let your kind nature be exploited by anyone"- I just care a lot about everyone: regardless of whether they're people who I know or just strangers. I cannot help but care about people. I'm at a time in my life right now where I'm putting my parents decision about my future first (even though I personally do not agree with it) but I just genuinely do not want to and cannot possibly see my parents or anyone else hurt.
Sometimes I wish I wasn't so kind and sympathetic but i can't stop myself even from worrying about the tiniest things.

I'd much rather hurt myself then see anyone else hurt! Whether that's a good trait to have or not I really do not know. Someone (a teacher) said to me "you need to do what makes you happiest" but it's really difficult for me.
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Anonymous #1
#6
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#6
I cannot possibly upset other people and therefore am always a kind person and very empathetic.
I tend to feel to much. If someone (even a stranger) is hurt, I feel it and have to be there for them. If someone insults me i do stand my own feet and preserve my own dignity but I cannot say anything hurtful to anyone.
I've always put others first.
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Anonymous #1
#7
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#7
Also just to add, I wouldn't say I'm a "doormat". Noone at the moment has ever treated me in a disgusting way. For example, I wouldn't be the type to live though an abusive relationship.
I do understand the difference between people who are nice and people who are evil.
Not to say I'd ever hurt those who are evil I'd just know where I stand.
Yet with people such as family who are very lovely- I wouldn't be able to hurt them even if I really do not agree with a decision that they make.
If someone tries to hurt someone else I would stand up for them but i wouldn't go hurting them. I'd try and verbally explain what's wrong and right to them.

Thank you anyways
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Lilligant22
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#8
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I'm usually a caring person and I relate a lot to people I guess like you do, and I tend to support people the most with mental issues (depression and such, but sometimes it's just simplistic things).

Because of this I would be vulnerable to people who try to exploit my empathy. Earlier this year I spoke to a guy who was depressed and said nobody cared and wanted to kill himself, so I offered an ear. He went on to talk about how humans are selfish, how he thinks of killing himself and other people every day, and then went on to talk about some very disturbing things that really caused me some issues for the next week (he, essentially, talked to me about wanting to commit acts of terrorism). I deleted and blocked him immediately.

I think that, after experiencing that, I can't really be bothered for caring that much for people I don't know. It's selfish, but you need to care about yourself, too, because in the end, it's always the person who tends to everyone who ends up hurt. Everybody forgets about your own feelings. Plus, you have no obligation to help these people. It's a morally good thing to do, but you can't help everyone in the world.
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JoshDarnIt
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#9
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#9
Don't let people walk all over you. Be nice but take no sh*t.
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Anonymous #1
#10
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#10
Thank you so much

I am going to try my best now to not be so empathetic, it wont prevent me from being a nice person in general but I guess you're right as much as I'd like to you cant help everyone and their are people who I guess exploit your kind nature.

I need to learn to not let my kindness be misunderstood for my weakness it's about self preservation I guess and and not letting my calmness be misunderstood for acceptance. I need to learn to not be so damn empathetic- which is going to be hars but I'm going to work on it!

Thank you x

Thank you
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larryboy
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#11
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OP don't do this to yourself otherwise you are going to be in a lot of bother and pain when you see how bad the world really is. For every 10 people you meet 9 are going to want to take advantage or use you. For every 10 people you meet 10 of them are going to put themselves first.

You will be used in future relationships
You will be used by future employers
You will be used by future friends and colleagues
You will be used by family

No one on this planet is going to put their needs before yours. Even close friends only need you because you serve a purpose and that purpose is you provide them with company. The point is everyone is trying to get something out of everyone consciously or sub consciously.

Wake up and start thinking about what you can get from everyone and NEVER compromise yourself for any person on this planet.
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Anonymous #1
#12
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#12
Oh my God!!! This has actually made me so so teary!!
But I totally understand where you are coming from.

Thank you I am going to from today try my very best to put my self first. X
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