How do I go forward in my situation? Not get friend zoned Watch

Risster
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#1
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I was talking to a girl for about a month and things were going really well and I we made it clear that we had a mutual attraction. Some things started to go wrong in her life and her mental state started to deteriorate to the point where she really needed time to focus on her own well being (I know it sounds kinda quiche and she just doesn’t want to go further with me but I do fully believe her as I know a lot of the detail) she said that she’s not blocking off the idea of us in the future.
I guess my question is how I go about my situation going forward. I really like her a lot and respect her decision as I want her to be as happy as possible.
How do I make sure I don’t get friend zoned in the time and so she still knows that when she’s ready I’ll be happy to try again?
I’m worried that when she’s ready she’ll see me as too close of a friend as we still talk almost every day
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Old Skool Freak
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(Original post by Risster)
I guess my question is how I go about my situation going forward. I really like her a lot and respect her decision as I want her to be as happy as possible.
How do I make sure I don’t get friend zoned in the time and so she still knows that when she’s ready I’ll be happy to try again?
Basically, don't act like her friend, and you won't be.

Live your own life in the meantime, give her the space she needs to sort out whatever is going on and don't be constantly there at her beck and call.

Having said that, don't cut contact with her completely, instead limit contact to once in a while (e.g. a short catch-up chat or text once every 1-2 weeks). That way, you've given her the space, but she knows you're still there in the background. In fact, that may even work in your favour, because then every time you see her, it becomes an "event" (as opposed to "routine")

I’m worried that when she’s ready she’ll see me as too close of a friend as we still talk almost every day
You can't really stop that from happening,,, if it's going to happen it's going to happen. When someone is attracted to you, you have a "Use-by" date stamped on your ass (I say your ass because you never know how long you've got; sometimes it's only a couple of week, other times a few years).

It's less likely to happen if you limit the contact, like I described above. Another thing that may help is to cut off a conversation when it's going well. Obviously not in a rude way, but just make some excuse about how you have to do something urgently; that way her parting memory will be a good one and shows that you have a life away from her.
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Risster
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(Original post by Old Skool Freak)
Basically, don't act like her friend, and you won't be.

Live your own life in the meantime, give her the space she needs to sort out whatever is going on and don't be constantly there at her beck and call.

Having said that, don't cut contact with her completely, instead limit contact to once in a while (e.g. a short catch-up chat or text once every 1-2 weeks). That way, you've given her the space, but she knows you're still there in the background. In fact, that may even work in your favour, because then every time you see her, it becomes an "event" (as opposed to "routine")



You can't really stop that from happening,,, if it's going to happen it's going to happen. When someone is attracted to you, you have a "Use-by" date stamped on your ass (I say your ass because you never know how long you've got; sometimes it's only a couple of week, other times a few years).

It's less likely to happen if you limit the contact, like I described above. Another thing that may help is to cut off a conversation when it's going well. Obviously not in a rude way, but just make some excuse about how you have to do something urgently; that way her parting memory will be a good one and shows that you have a life away from her.
I see what you mean but if I start doing this now it would be really out of character. When we were talking we were basically best friends and kept in contact all the time and she actually said to me she doesn’t want anything to change between us when she decided she needed a break.
She’s still one of my best friends and we just sort of have a connection, that’s why it was so good in the first place.
Plus we do all the same things so i just end up being with her a lot anyway
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Old Skool Freak
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(Original post by Risster)
I see what you mean but if I start doing this now it would be really out of character. When we were talking we were basically best friends and kept in contact all the time and she actually said to me she doesn’t want anything to change between us when she decided she needed a break.
She’s still one of my best friends and we just sort of have a connection, that’s why it was so good in the first place.
Plus we do all the same things so i just end up being with her a lot anyway
It's up to you how you choose to play the game.

By all means, you can carry on as you have been; but there's every chance you'll end up calling yourself 'Chandler' cause you're in the friend zone. As I said in my previous post, there's always a risk of it happening unless you make some real changes. I would have suggested you do some light flirting so she'll know you're still interested (e.g. telling her she looks nice, some light touching etc.), but as she's said she needs space, that may just irritate her. Instead, save that for the time if / when she gives you the "Green Light".

I guess you can try and gradually cutting down time you're spending together?
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Nikkkkkk
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(Original post by Risster)
I was talking to a girl for about a month and things were going really well and I we made it clear that we had a mutual attraction. Some things started to go wrong in her life and her mental state started to deteriorate to the point where she really needed time to focus on her own well being (I know it sounds kinda quiche and she just doesn’t want to go further with me but I do fully believe her as I know a lot of the detail) she said that she’s not blocking off the idea of us in the future.
I guess my question is how I go about my situation going forward. I really like her a lot and respect her decision as I want her to be as happy as possible.
How do I make sure I don’t get friend zoned in the time and so she still knows that when she’s ready I’ll be happy to try again?
I’m worried that when she’s ready she’ll see me as too close of a friend as we still talk almost every day
Make her level of interest high. Dont act in desperate way. Dont show intentions and never put her on the first place but dont be rude or mean. You can be still cute whilst flirty. She has to pursue you and honestly check some you tube videos and red pill articles
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ChickenMadness
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Forget about her and focus on yourself. Then ask her again in a few months if you haven't already found someone else by then lol.
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