Do you ever feel like not doing what is expected of you?

This is going to sound like a strange question, but, stubborn people - do you ever feel stubborn towards doing your work or doing what is expected of you or doing what the teachers want? Etc. So you probably end up getting middle of the road or lower grades?

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Reply 1

Max1989

Yes, I literally did not do my Physics A2 mock as I didn't want to, I just sat there arms crossed with the paper on the first page, my teacher just looked at me and walked away. Yet the teacher knows when I do try I can do wonders so they never question it. I am very forward in that I can do what I choose to and that I am wholeheartedly responsible for my actions, it's just who I am. I've never let it harm my grades however, my emotions do that for me :h:

Reply 2

AspiringAccount

I was once like that. I put off revision for maths and law even with the prospect of getting low grades, but when the time came for me to receive results. I regretted being a stubborn dumba*ss.

Reply 3

AspiringAccount

Well I was a loner at secondary school, one thing lead to another and now i'm homeschooled. Looking at what I just said you've got bigger balls than me.

(edited 3 years ago)

Reply 4

Max1989

YEAH! I'm not the best at anything, I'm never the one who's thought about first, the one who is the star...I'm like always the 2nd best but it seems they go from 1st to 3rd and forget about me...This is why I rebel...And also why I do try, as I make it known of what grades I can get, so when I do not get them on purpose they are put in their place :h:

.

It's also come out of a little bit of not really being loved by anyone, it's made me into a cold individual, one that is very independent, and I fight for me in a fantastic fashion as I rarely have others fighting with me.

Totally relatable.

(edited 3 years ago)

Reply 5

gjd800

I routinely ignore things that are expected of me if I don't see a point in them. Not sure how I get away with it in work, but I mostly do.

Reply 6

Notoriety

All the time.

And I do it happily.

Reply 7

Max1989

I also rebelled against parenting...like really bad...maybe slightly worrying...but when I was told off and punished, I would not argue I'd just accept it, this started at a very young age, no one could predict how I would react, as I was too clever for the system, as parents when they tell you off want to give you a worse punishment, or have you apologise, I just accepted that I had done wrong, there was no solution or outcome...They had no leverage over me. I carry this to the vary day, it is how I respond to arguments or anything really, I just accept it, as I know they have gained nothing. Not a great description but yeah...but I know this is about school so sorry for off topic, but this is also kinda of rebelling.

(edited 3 years ago)

Reply 8

Max1989

Thanks

that is one of the kindest things someone has said to me, I unfortunately do not have a person currently I can trust or open up to, but I am slowly getting a positive outlook and hopefully that person will come soon. I do not know who I am, at the moment, but again things are slowly getting better :h:

. I have little self happiness (honestly it's not in me) I feed off everyone elses happiness, everyone has to be happy around me, it's my mission to ensure that, but this is selfish as I'm only making people to be happy so that I can feel happy (not healthy guys don't do it). But yeah I've had everyone taken away from me that I once loved, so I do not have anyone to make happy, so hopefully this goes and I do not need validation...This post has turned into something a lot different, but hey ho there's a time and place for everything, and this is this.

Would Rep but I've already repped you. :frown:

Good luck to you too :smile:

Reply 9

gjd800

There is a point to be made here, for sure, and we have all seen or experienced narky academics. But the wider problem is (and I've seen this from both sides of the fence) that an increasing amount of students now take anything that isn't 'well done, cherub - you are amazing' as harsh. I had a *****y email from a student only a matter of weeks ago accusing me of bias and/or of not knowing my own specialist area because they 'tried really hard' in an assessment and 'only' got a 2:1. They then went to my HoD and complained about the 'harshness' of the marking and the 'abrupt' written feedback. it is crazy. Criticism is what it is, it is there to help you get better. Praising the good only goes so far -- if I tell my student, 'well that was a good introduction' but ignore that their argument is utter shite, it doesn't improve anything at all. You need to balance pointing out strengths with robust criticism of weaknesses.

Reply 10

gjd800

That still only addresses half the point. Try to do xyz, yes fine. Then you need to say why, and the saying why is still criticism. You are there to have your ideas and abilities critiqued. This is a fact.

Reply 11

gjd800

In fact ,on a second read, I don't think you actually addressed any of what I said at all!

Reply 12

gjd800

Here's some constructive criticism -- actually go back and read what I said (especially the first and last sentences) before you reply with 'I disagree'. Everything you just bandied out is implied therein. You suggested working with adult students like we work with dogs, i.e. ignoring bad form and rewarding good. Well, students are not dogs, and consequently, this exact approach does not work -- it should be obvious as to why.

Single word points barely qualify as criticism at all.

Reply 13

gjd800

That was an example, not the point. The point is that for every narky lecturer, there is a precious student that freaks out at feedback tha most other people would consider entirely reasonable. Like i said, there are points to be made re nark lecturers and arsey feedback -- we have all had it -- but it's not the whole story (or the only story). Students are increasingly touchy, it's weird.

Reply 14

It's****ingWOODY

As I was growing up, I feel like I worried too much about disappointing people, so rebelling against what was expected of me wasn't on the agenda, like at all. As an adult, I don't like to feel as though people expect things of me or take liberties with assuming things of me, and I'll find a way to shut that s*** down.

Reply 15

gjd800

Children =/= with university students learning to process/do complex stuff. Try teaching a course where you praise the good bits but completely ignore the poor bits. See how it goes. The poor bits will stay the same, i.e. shite.

Reply 16

awkwardshortguy

I can be stubborn about some things in life, I guess, but I don't go about deliberately disappointing people - doing that is just my nature.

Reply 17

gjd800

Those sort of instances are examples of ******** moves, for sure. But there's a difference between doing that and saying 'look, this part of your argument is really weak because x y z'. If we were to take the dog analogy seriously, we'd ignore the weakness and pat them on the head for managing to do something else reasonably well. That's the other end of the extreme. Instead, a middle ground where you robustly deal with a piece, but fairly. I don't think that this should be too controversial.

Reply 18

Vinny C

God, yes... it is rule no.1 in the Art of War.

Reply 19

gjd800

That is what is involved when you train dogs via +tive reinforcement, mate. They do something bad, you ignore it. They do something better, you reward it. So the dog analogy fails. (Incidentally, training parrots works the same way.)