Do you ever feel like not doing what is expected of you? Watch

blacksheep8
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This is going to sound like a strange question, but, stubborn people - do you ever feel stubborn towards doing your work or doing what is expected of you or doing what the teachers want? Etc. So you probably end up getting middle of the road or lower grades?
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sknudson
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I'm not stubborn because of what people expect of me, but rather what I expect of myself and what I see as being the right path. If something is worth my time, then it'll pursue it properly. Otherwise meh. Passing grades were more than sufficient for what didn't serve me in school. Didn't make a damn bit of difference anyway.
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Max1989
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(Original post by blacksheep8)
This is going to sound like a strange question, but, stubborn people - do you ever feel stubborn towards doing your work or doing what is expected of you or doing what the teachers want? Etc. So you probably end up getting middle of the road or lower grades?
Yes, I literally did not do my Physics A2 mock as I didn't want to, I just sat there arms crossed with the paper on the first page, my teacher just looked at me and walked away. Yet the teacher knows when I do try I can do wonders so they never question it. I am very forward in that I can do what I choose to and that I am wholeheartedly responsible for my actions, it's just who I am. I've never let it harm my grades however, my emotions do that for me .
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AspiringAccount
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(Original post by blacksheep8)
This is going to sound like a strange question, but, stubborn people - do you ever feel stubborn towards doing your work or doing what is expected of you or doing what the teachers want? Etc. So you probably end up getting middle of the road or lower grades?
I was once like that. I put off revision for maths and law even with the prospect of getting low grades, but when the time came for me to receive results. I regretted being a stubborn dumba*ss.
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blacksheep8
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(Original post by Max1989)
Yes, I literally did not do my Physics A2 mock as I didn't want to, I just sat there arms crossed with the paper on the first page, my teacher just looked at me and walked away. Yet the teacher knows when I do try I can do wonders so they never question it. I am very forward in that I can do what I choose to and that I am wholeheartedly responsible for my actions, it's just who I am. I've never let it harm my grades however, my emotions do that for me .
Pretty relatable. Thanks for your response
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blacksheep8
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sknudson, Max1989, AspiringAccount, Lady Jamie At school I wasn't someone who was praised or noticed much so I think I rebelled in this way. It just sort of felt futile? Like I just wasn't one of the chosen kids that all the teachers doted on and I would never be, so what was the point?

Do you guys relate at all?

Or was it more like pressure from parents?
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AspiringAccount
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(Original post by blacksheep8)
sknudson, Max1989, AspiringAccount, Lady Jamie At school I wasn't someone who was praised or noticed much so I think I rebelled in this way. It just sort of felt futile? Like I just wasn't one of the chosen kids that all the teachers doted on and I would never be, so what was the point?

Do you guys relate at all?

Or was it more like pressure from parents?
Well I was a loner at secondary school, one thing lead to another and now i'm homeschooled. Looking at what I just said you've got bigger balls than me.
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Max1989
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(Original post by blacksheep8)
sknudson, Max1989, AspiringAccount, Lady Jamie At school I wasn't someone who was praised or noticed much so I think I rebelled in this way. It just sort of felt futile? Like I just wasn't one of the chosen kids that all the teachers doted on and I would never be, so what was the point?

Do you guys relate at all?

Or was it more like pressure from parents?
YEAH! I'm not the best at anything, I'm never the one who's thought about first, the one who is the star...I'm like always the 2nd best but it seems they go from 1st to 3rd and forget about me...This is why I rebel...And also why I do try, as I make it known of what grades I can get, so when I do not get them on purpose they are put in their place .

It's also come out of a little bit of not really being loved by anyone, it's made me into a cold individual, one that is very independent, and I fight for me in a fantastic fashion as I rarely have others fighting with me.

Totally relatable.
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gjd800
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I routinely ignore things that are expected of me if I don't see a point in them. Not sure how I get away with it in work, but I mostly do.
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Notoriety
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All the time.

And I do it happily.
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Max1989
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(Original post by blacksheep8)
sknudson, Max1989, AspiringAccount, Lady Jamie At school I wasn't someone who was praised or noticed much so I think I rebelled in this way. It just sort of felt futile? Like I just wasn't one of the chosen kids that all the teachers doted on and I would never be, so what was the point?

Do you guys relate at all?

Or was it more like pressure from parents?
I also rebelled against parenting...like really bad...maybe slightly worrying...but when I was told off and punished, I would not argue I'd just accept it, this started at a very young age, no one could predict how I would react, as I was too clever for the system, as parents when they tell you off want to give you a worse punishment, or have you apologise, I just accepted that I had done wrong, there was no solution or outcome...They had no leverage over me. I carry this to the vary day, it is how I respond to arguments or anything really, I just accept it, as I know they have gained nothing. Not a great description but yeah...but I know this is about school so sorry for off topic, but this is also kinda of rebelling.
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blacksheep8
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(Original post by Max1989)
YEAH! I'm not the best at anything, I'm never the one who's thought about first, the one who is the star...I'm like always the 2nd best but it seems they go from 1st to 3rd and forget about me...This is why I rebel...And also why I do try, as I make it known of what grades I can get, so when I do not get them on purpose they are put in their place .

It's also come out of a little bit of not really being loved by anyone, it's made me into a cold individual, one that is very independent, and I fight for me in a fantastic fashion as I rarely have others fighting with me.

Totally relatable.
Yes me too, totally relatable. I guess I was lucky in a way because I knew my family still loved me even if they weren't really that interested in my life (which sucked so much tbh). I'm sorry you've had to go through what you have. I know what it feels like. You deserve a medal for it - take it from me! I knkw I deserve one too. But, try not stay cold. Or at least try to let yourself be emotional in yourself. Honestly you deserve that much, and it really helps you. I guess the most difficult thing is letting down your walls to other people. I know you haven't asked for advice, but since I relate to you, I'll say anyway: get to know yourself (you're already on track), learn to love yourself, find what you value, and then you'll find someone right for you. Then trusting isn't nearly as difficult. I don't trust other people much, but I trust this person who I found as we could open up to each other completely. There was nothing to fear with him.

Good luck, my friend Give yourself first place in your heart (keep rebelling by not getting others' validation, it's actually way healthier)
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blacksheep8
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(Original post by AspiringAccount)
Well I was a loner at secondary school, one thing lead to another and now i'm homeschooled. Looking at what I just said you've got bigger balls than me.
You're beating yourself up too much. This actually has nothing to do with being 'ball-sy'. I personally don't like using that term but I'm sure you're 'ball-sy' plenty You had to be pretty 'ball-sy' to say no to doing what you didn't want to. But you should probably just think of it this way: it was a difficult situation and there are probably reasons for that (like why you didn't want to do that stuff, I doubt it's incidental) and you're allpwed to go through that. Not everyone will, or some people will deal with it in a different way. They're just different, not right or wrong. Yes, wrong, by society's standard, but society isn't necessarily right. Keep focusing on you, try to get to the bottom of why you just didn't want to do that stuff.
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Max1989
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(Original post by blacksheep8)
Yes me too, totally relatable. I guess I was lucky in a way because I knew my family still loved me even if they weren't really that interested in my life (which sucked so much tbh). I'm sorry you've had to go through what you have. I know what it feels like. You deserve a medal for it - take it from me! I knkw I deserve one too. But, try not stay cold. Or at least try to let yourself be emotional in yourself. Honestly you deserve that much, and it really helps you. I guess the most difficult thing is letting down your walls to other people. I know you haven't asked for advice, but since I relate to you, I'll say anyway: get to know yourself (you're already on track), learn to love yourself, find what you value, and then you'll find someone right for you. Then trusting isn't nearly as difficult. I don't trust other people much, but I trust this person who I found as we could open up to each other completely. There was nothing to fear with him.

Good luck, my friend Give yourself first place in your heart (keep rebelling by not getting others' validation, it's actually way healthier)
Thanks that is one of the kindest things someone has said to me, I unfortunately do not have a person currently I can trust or open up to, but I am slowly getting a positive outlook and hopefully that person will come soon. I do not know who I am, at the moment, but again things are slowly getting better . I have little self happiness (honestly it's not in me) I feed off everyone elses happiness, everyone has to be happy around me, it's my mission to ensure that, but this is selfish as I'm only making people to be happy so that I can feel happy (not healthy guys don't do it). But yeah I've had everyone taken away from me that I once loved, so I do not have anyone to make happy, so hopefully this goes and I do not need validation...This post has turned into something a lot different, but hey ho there's a time and place for everything, and this is this.

Would Rep but I've already repped you.

Good luck to you too
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Lady Jamie
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(Original post by blacksheep8)
sknudson, Max1989, AspiringAccount, Lady Jamie At school I wasn't someone who was praised or noticed much so I think I rebelled in this way. It just sort of felt futile? Like I just wasn't one of the chosen kids that all the teachers doted on and I would never be, so what was the point?

Do you guys relate at all?

Or was it more like pressure from parents?
Kinda...I've never been seen as very 'academic', I didn't fail or anything but I was just the girl that was 'never in class' :rolleyes:

I understand the feeling though, my mum told me the other week that "it's okay if you fail, just take care of yourself"...she meant well but it still kinda hurt. No one expects me to excel in uni or in academia, but I really do wish people would have a little more faith in me at times. The idea of proving them wrong really incentivises me to study tho, it is also why I can be a little too fixated on that first-class.

In regards to ur original question - Yes. Like I said in my previous comment (which contained some behaviour I do not condone), I decided to 'self-study' random A2 modules for all my subjects instead of the ones my teachers chose for the class. Why? Because I didn't like the topics and felt the teacher didn't take my suggestion into consideration, so I 'rebelled'. Pretty immature in hindsight tbh.
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blacksheep8
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(Original post by Lady Jamie)
Kinda...I've never been seen as very 'academic', I didn't fail or anything but I was just the girl that was 'never in class' :rolleyes:

I understand the feeling though, my mum told me the other week that "it's okay if you fail, just take care of yourself"...she meant well but it still kinda hurt. No one expects me to excel in uni or in academia, but I really do wish people would have a little more faith in me at times. The idea of proving them wrong really incentivises me to study tho, it is also why I can be a little too fixated on that first-class.

In regards to ur original question - Yes. As I said in my previous comment (which contained some behaviour I do not condone), I decided to 'self-study' random A2 modules for all my subjects instead of the ones my teachers chose for the class. Why? Because I didn't like the topics and felt the teacher didn't take my suggestion into consideration, so I 'rebelled'. Pretty immature in hindsight tbh.
Funny you should say that! This has been happening to me too. My dad told my my mum he didn't think I'd get a place at uni, and she told me! -_- He's more than once asked me what would happen if I didn't pass my assessments too. So I completely understand the feeling of just wanting those people who are supposed to believe in you, to believe in you. I have too used that technique a little bit, but not as much. Rather I've been rebellious at uni by writing about what I like instead of trying to get the marks and doing what they want. I just feel a huge sense of frustration at the system and can't help but often feel like it's just set up all wrong and discourages students.

Btw you don't sound dumb at all, quite the contrary But I completely understand. People mix up a lot of things. They think for example that if one does not get good grades that it means they're stupid. There's all sorts of different intelligence. Also I believe getting good grades at school is most likely an environmental case; everyone can get there, just at different times. A handful of us had to retake core science in year 11 and we all got the highest grade on the paper that you could achieve after just repeating the year again and being taught by good teachers.
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Lady Jamie
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(Original post by blacksheep8)
Funny you should say that! This has been happening to me too. My dad told my my mum he didn't think I'd get a place at uni, and she told me! -_- He's more than once asked me what would happen if I didn't pass my assessments too. So I completely understand the feeling of just wanting those people who are supposed to believe in you, to believe in you. I have too used that technique a little bit, but not as much. Rather I've been rebellious at uni by writing about what I like instead of trying to get the marks and doing what they want. I just feel a huge sense of frustration at the system and can't help but often feel like it's just set up all wrong and discourages students.

Btw you don't sound dumb at all, quite the contrary But I completely understand. People mix up a lot of things. They think for example that if one does not get good grades that it means they're stupid. There's all sorts of different intelligence. Also I believe getting good grades at school is most likely an environmental case; everyone can get there, just at different times. A handful of us had to retake core science in year 11 and we all got the highest grade on the paper that you could achieve after just repeating the year again and being taught by good teachers.
I think parents and teachers/lecturers don't register how hurtful they can be, even if it is unintentional.

Saw my academic advisor last week and she went on the computer in front of me to confirm I was relaying the correct grades. People on my committee were also very shocked when I declined an invite because I wanted to bump up my grade to a first...It's like...I do have a brain sometimes tyvm

The system is a killer, but I don't think rebelling against it is going to get us very far . My best advice is to learn the structure and exam-techniques, it is the grades that matter at the end of the day. Uni and esp postgrad would allow you to focus on a niche area of your choice. That should be more interesting...(I hope)
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JohanGRK
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(Original post by Lady Jamie)
No one expects me to excel in uni or in academia, but I really do wish people would have a little more faith in me at times. The idea of proving them wrong really incentivises me to study tho, it is also why I can be a little too fixated on that first-class.
It's okay to end up with a 2:1 at a Silver Circle firm. Happens to the best of us

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Lady Jamie
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It's okay to end up with a 2:1 at a Silver Circle firm. Happens to the best of us

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Stop making me sound so cocky and insatiable. SC would be a dream.

2:1 just means bye bye postgrad.
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blacksheep8
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(Original post by Lady Jamie)
I think parents and teachers/lecturers don't register how hurtful they can be, even if it is unintentional.

Saw my academic advisor last week and she went on the computer in front of me to confirm I was relaying the correct grades. People on my committee were also very shocked when I declined an invite because I wanted to bump up my grade to a first...It's like...I do have a brain sometimes tyvm

The system is a killer, but I don't think rebelling against it is going to get us very far . My best advice is to learn the structure and exam-techniques, it is the grades that matter at the end of the day. Uni and esp postgrad would allow you to focus on a niche area of your choice. That should be more interesting...(I hope)
I agree. I've gotten some really harsh criticism throughout my time so far and I have really broken down at times. Recently this happened and I just thought... god, I'd hate to be a lecturer and know that I've done this to someone. They forget that their feedback can seriously affect students. I don't think harsh criticism is the right way to go, even if it does work for some people, becayse it's just not worth sacrificing your mental health. Praising the good is better than punishing the bad. That's a technique used in dog-training and raising children healthily, and there's a reason for that! Not saying we shouldn't know what areas need improvement, but lecturers should definitely strive to be gentle.

Gosh, I can't believe that lecturer did that to you! That's actually really mean? Talk about unreflective too. Reflection is an important part of being a good academic and yet I swear this is seriously lacking in the education world. That's why I actually think rebellion is good. I'm not saying to completely shove away all that has been taught and every rule. There's definitely value in some things. But, there is also something to be said about improvement. The realm of education, be it school or uni should always be open to new changes and ways that could make learning better for everyone, but that doesn't really seem to be the case in my experience. There's too much of a focus on doing things they way they've always been done, and to me that's the opposite of what learning/ education is supposed to be standing for. I think if students challenge more, you will inevitably get teachers and lecturers etc reflecting on the way we do things, which will probably lead to better results.
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