Family has had a massive falling out with my nan Watch

Anonymous #1
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Report Thread starter 1 week ago
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Just a bit of background info. My uncle lives in London, always has done throughout my life but as a kid I would always see him every two or three months. 15 years ago my grandad died and after that my family and my nan stopped seeing my uncle as often we would only see him every 6 or 7 months or so and then it went to once a year. Eventually my dad had enough and tried to speak to my uncle to sort things out but my uncle just blew him off and now we haven't seen or spoken to him or his family for 12 years now. My nan however still has in that time. My uncle and his family would come up to Manchester once a year and my nan would go down to London once a year on the train. Whenever he came up we would always stay out of the way as my nan would essentially say to my dad "your brother is coming up so don't come round between this day and that day." It hurt that she would speak to us like this but we let it slide.

However, recently my uncle has now stopped coming to visit her and they make her at 80 years of age and with bad arthritis go down on the train to London on her own to visit them. I know she doesn't like doing it so I said to her a few months ago that she shouldn't be going down there she should be making them come to visit her but she wasn't having any of it and told me I was being stupid.

Fast forward to now and my sister has had a baby so it's my nan's first great granchild and it is his first birthday in a few weeks. The only thing is my uncle has invited my nan down to visit him, going on the actual day of my nephew's birthday and she has agreed. Naturally we are annoyed that she has chosen to do this because it is his first birthday and my sister does everything she can to involve my nan in the babies life.

We told my nan we are annoyed and upset because she has chosen to go down on the day of his birthday and it has erupted into a massive row that led to me leaving my nan's house I was that annoyed. It just feels as though my nan is always at my uncle's beck and call and despite everything we do for her she will always put my uncle first even though he does absolutely nothing for her.

Sorry if I'm rambling on but I am still annoyed. What should I do? Should I try and talk to her again or should I stay away for the time being?
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Anonymous #2
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Report 1 week ago
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Why not call your uncle and ask him to change the date your Nan goes to visit him? Don't be accusatory or rude, just be as polite as possible and ask whether it would be possible for him to change the day she visits him. He probably has no idea what's going on with the birthday.
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Anonymous #1
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Report Thread starter 1 week ago
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(Original post by Anonymous)
Why not call your uncle and ask him to change the date your Nan goes to visit him? Don't be accusatory or rude, just be as polite as possible and ask whether it would be possible for him to change the day she visits him. He probably has no idea what's going on with the birthday.
Because we have not spoken to him for 12 years. The last time we called him to try and sort something out he was just rude and arrogant which has then led to us not speaking to him since.
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bones-mccoy
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Honestly to save yourself the trouble I'd be the bigger person and just let it slide. Not worth getting to angry about it. I understand the principle but it's not like the baby is going to miss her not being there.
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The Empire Odyssey
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Be practical and not sentimental. Yes it's important for your sister but it's the baby's first birthday and although it would mean a lot to your sister, there's literally no point. The baby isn't going to remember their birthday so why does it really matter?

Just let it go. You can't reason with the unreasonable.
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