Guys, do you prefer girls to be clingy or hard to get?

Males. If you had to pick, would you be more likely to stay in a relationship with someone who was a) hard to get or b) clingy? Say they were both good looking and nice personality. Would you prefer a girl who played it slightly cool, or someone who always told you how they felt about you? Mysterious or straight forward? I dont mean dramatically clingy or hard to get, just leaning towards a certain side...
For me, I prefer guys who are more cool, and slightly changing. I dont think I could put up with a boyfriend who is always around in my face saying how much he cares for me and has no social life outside the relationship. Hmm. Thoughts?

(I submitted the post before I typed the main text. Oops.)

Reply 1

ßlαcksωαn

17

no one likes clingy

Reply 2

Crazster

16

I prefer a girl not trying to play games?

Reply 3

Schmokie Dragon

17

I prefer a girl, or guy, to be honest with me.

If I don't like what I'm getting, I'll move on. That process is much less painful if people don't put on a facade aimed at appealing to their lover/date/boyfriend/girlfriend etc.

Reply 4

pendragon

13

thatsjustit

Males. If you had to pick, would you be more likely to stay in a relationship with someone who was a) hard to get or b) clingy? Say they were both good looking and nice personality. Would you prefer a girl who played it slightly cool, or someone who always told you how they felt about you? Mysterious or straight forward? I dont mean dramatically clingy or hard to get, just leaning towards a certain side...

I think I would prefer slightly clingy. If you are really attracted to someone that shouldn't be a problem. Especially as you are suggesting that the alternative is someone who is not completely open with you. I want emotional intimacy in a relationship, not mysterious coolness.

Of course if you weren't really into your partner then even slight clingyness might lead you to find them less attractive and make you want to escape. But when you are really into someone, you want to eventually get to a stage where there isn't any game playing or misunderstanding - I think that is a more adult relationship.

The answer to this question vis a vis a particular partner should tell you whether they are the person you really want as they are, or whether you can only find them attractive when they stay slightly aloof and beyond your full comprehension.

Reply 5

L i b

19

I loathe clingy girls; especially boring clingy girls (which most of them are).

I'd like a girl who has her own life, and is interesting in her own right.

Reply 6

Sugar_Gems

4

Come on now O.P, no-one likes someone who is clingy now do they!

Clingy people just drive others away

Reply 7

thatsjustit

OP

L i b

I loathe clingy girls; especially boring clingy girls (which most of them are).

I'd like a girl who has her own life, and is interesting in her own right.

That's good to hear. I feel the same :smile:

Reply 8

thatsjustit

OP

Sugar_Gems

Come on now O.P, no-one likes someone who is clingy now do they!

Clingy people just drive others away

Yeah but some guys seem to dislike cool girls just as much.

Reply 9

Schmokie Dragon

17

Too true. My ex, and my ex-ex-ex both wanted total and unwavering adoration and affection. Coolness just would not cut it!

Reply 10

thatsjustit

OP

And by clingy I mean more being very open about how they feel about you ("I think about you all the time" etc. (Even if they do, is it really necessary to say it in a new-ish relationship?), ringing you every time they want to speak to you rather than waiting for a while, etc.

Reply 11

thatsjustit

OP

Schmokie Dragon

Too true. My ex, and my ex-ex-ex both wanted total and unwavering adoration and affection. Coolness just would not cut it!

At least they are exes, right? :wink:

Reply 12

pendragon

13

thatsjustit

Yeah but some guys seem to dislike cool girls just as much.

More so, if cool means messing you around and not being emotionally intimate and open.

Reply 13

Schmokie Dragon

17

Well, there are a few reasons why we are not together anymore, and that didn't really feature on the scale of what went wrong, tbh

Reply 14

thatsjustit

OP

pendragon

More so, if cool means messing you around and not being emotionally intimate and open.

No, cool doesnt mean messing you around. Cool =/= lying. Just holding back occasionally.

Reply 15

pendragon

13

thatsjustit

No, cool doesnt mean messing you around. Cool =/= lying. Just holding back occasionally.

Its fine for early in a relationship or when you are young, but I think that ultimately you want things to be open...

I mean think really long term are you going to be "cool" with your husband/father of your kids? I don't mean here that relationships are anything like that level of commitment, but some people prefer full emotional openess with the person they have been sleeping with for more than a short time frame, its just more adult.

Reply 16

Ang|ophi|e

12

Just a question: Do guys prefer a challenge over someone who doesn't challenge you?

edit: major typo :p:

Reply 17

L i b

19

Ang|ophi|e

Just a question: Do guys prepare a challenge over someone who doesn't challenge you?

I wouldn't even show any interest in that sort of person, so no. It's supposed to be exciting!

Reply 18

username149848

1

I prefer more confident and independent women over clingy girls, they usually are more interesting (and worthwhile). I agree with others though, being 'cool' after some time is going to send the message that you're not into them.

Reply 19

thatsjustit

OP

^ Yeah, its all about the fine line between being cool, and seeming completely uninterested. I am quite laid back in relationships, so sometimes when I tell a guy who likes me that I am into him too, he'll be like "I thought I was just a friend to you".

Guys, do you prefer girls to be clingy or hard to get?

Related discussions

Articles for you