Why’s he acting like that?

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Anonymous #1
#1
Report Thread starter 3 years ago
#1
He has said that he had feelings for me. He’s my bestfriend btw and he said despite his feelings, we’ll always remain best friends but yet he don’t text me often as before and he ignores me often too. He is active on social media but doesnt open my messages. I understand he could want to get over me but then he tells me that he’s afraid that I’ll find someone better than him and that he’s scared of losing me.
Yesterday night he messaged me after not replying to me for about a day saying “u ok? U didn’t get back to me?” When I was the last one who replied. He then said that he feels like he’s losing me and is feeling alone. It’s just that I don’t get it...I got pissed and then said I was the last to message him and that we all have a phone, I know if he wanted to he would have. He appologised and we were ok...
I just don’t get it, he’s basically only talking to me whenever he feels like talking to me and replies whenever it suits him but then he ignores me and tells me how he’s scared of losing me. I’m just so confused.
One of my friend said he’s toxic. I’ve met this best friend off online from an app. My friend said he’s toxic when I told him about him keeping on bringing his feelings up for me when ive rejected him many times. He used to use his “ptsd” and said he has anxiety and that’s why he’s scared of losing me. Now he doesn’t talk about his ptsd to me anymore. He said he got that from bullying. He told me after a while we met that he has ptsd and I found that hard to believe and even now I do. I think he just likes to act up..but idk
Can someone give me advice pls and no rude comments pls. I would appreciate it 🙏🏾
He is always using excuses and saying that he’s been sick and etc..and like okayyyy
He said he feels like I have better ppl to talk to but then lool I have been replying to him so I don’t even understand.
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harrysbar
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#2
Report 3 years ago
#2
(Original post by Anonymous)
He has said that he had feelings for me. He’s my bestfriend btw and he said despite his feelings, we’ll always remain best friends but yet he don’t text me often as before and he ignores me often too. He is active on social media but doesnt open my messages. I understand he could want to get over me but then he tells me that he’s afraid that I’ll find someone better than him and that he’s scared of losing me.
Yesterday night he messaged me after not replying to me for about a day saying “u ok? U didn’t get back to me?” When I was the last one who replied. He then said that he feels like he’s losing me and is feeling alone. It’s just that I don’t get it...I got pissed and then said I was the last to message him and that we all have a phone, I know if he wanted to he would have. He appologised and we were ok...
I just don’t get it, he’s basically only talking to me whenever he feels like talking to me and replies whenever it suits him but then he ignores me and tells me how he’s scared of losing me. I’m just so confused.
One of my friend said he’s toxic. I’ve met this best friend off online from an app. My friend said he’s toxic when I told him about him keeping on bringing his feelings up for me when ive rejected him many times. He used to use his “ptsd” and said he has anxiety and that’s why he’s scared of losing me. Now he doesn’t talk about his ptsd to me anymore. He said he got that from bullying. He told me after a while we met that he has ptsd and I found that hard to believe and even now I do. I think he just likes to act up..but idk
Can someone give me advice pls and no rude comments pls. I would appreciate it 🙏🏾
He is always using excuses and saying that he’s been sick and etc..and like okayyyy
He said he feels like I have better ppl to talk to but then lool I have been replying to him so I don’t even understand.
He does sound toxic and like he is projecting his own bad behaviour on to you, sorry
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won.of.a.kind
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#3
Report 3 years ago
#3
It sounds like your best friend is just having a rocky time maybe just tell him how you feel and that your concerned about him and confront him about it - also he doesn't always have to reply to you everyone lives their own lives and clearly this is his way of coping.
It sounds like giving each other space in this situation is the best thing right now; however, I wouldn't recommend cutting each other off entirely just take some distance still talk but don't over-do it. I was in a similar predicament and I regret losing my best friend soo much. Clearly he is just trying to get over you and maybe there is something else at play ask him about it. From here you relationship with him has clearly broken down and you two need to re-build it which I think can be done from the sounds of it but you need to commit and give each other the time, space and support here.

Also cannot stress enough - don't favour and online friend over a real friend it never did me any justice and it might not do you any. I used to trust my online friend wayyyy too much but she wasn't even there witnessing events she was getting a biased- half story and she jumped to conclusions and assumptions giving advice which actually made things worse even though it was in good intention. so just be careful.

From what you have written maybe he has a point - it does sound like you are priortising other people or expecting something of him ..........I dunno its just an observation........

Anyway it sounds like a difficult time for both you and him I understand that loosing someone close to you and fighting with them is/can be stressful so I wish you the best of luck !!!!!! Hope it gets resolved!!!
(Original post by Anonymous)
He has said that he had feelings for me. He’s my bestfriend btw and he said despite his feelings, we’ll always remain best friends but yet he don’t text me often as before and he ignores me often too. He is active on social media but doesnt open my messages. I understand he could want to get over me but then he tells me that he’s afraid that I’ll find someone better than him and that he’s scared of losing me.
Yesterday night he messaged me after not replying to me for about a day saying “u ok? U didn’t get back to me?” When I was the last one who replied. He then said that he feels like he’s losing me and is feeling alone. It’s just that I don’t get it...I got pissed and then said I was the last to message him and that we all have a phone, I know if he wanted to he would have. He appologised and we were ok...
I just don’t get it, he’s basically only talking to me whenever he feels like talking to me and replies whenever it suits him but then he ignores me and tells me how he’s scared of losing me. I’m just so confused.
One of my friend said he’s toxic. I’ve met this best friend off online from an app. My friend said he’s toxic when I told him about him keeping on bringing his feelings up for me when ive rejected him many times. He used to use his “ptsd” and said he has anxiety and that’s why he’s scared of losing me. Now he doesn’t talk about his ptsd to me anymore. He said he got that from bullying. He told me after a while we met that he has ptsd and I found that hard to believe and even now I do. I think he just likes to act up..but idk
Can someone give me advice pls and no rude comments pls. I would appreciate it 🙏🏾
He is always using excuses and saying that he’s been sick and etc..and like okayyyy
He said he feels like I have better ppl to talk to but then lool I have been replying to him so I don’t even understand.
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