I am intensely negative and over-sensitive Watch

Anonymous #1
#1
Report Thread starter 1 week ago
#1
It doesn't sound that deep but it's really interfering with my day to day life, it makes me feel so down. I read once that happiness may be genetic and if that's the case, I must have whatever gene causes the opposite. I think that my negativity stems from my over-sensitivity; I notice absolutely everything; people's intentions, their emotions, it's like everything is exaggerated. Although it seems like a good thing, being overly perceptive is actually terrible and it's put me in really depressive moods. I used to go to therapy for anxiety and depression, but it never helped. I felt like it was so superficial, talking to someone about my problems, this person who was getting paid to sit there and listen to me rant. I would always catch her glancing at the clock to see when her next appointment was, and it made me so self-conscious. This is going to sound really horrible, but I genuinely believe that you must be some level of dense to actually be helped by therapy. I quit after about 5 months.

Today, I had a really bad day. Over the past few months, my best friend has sort of been sucking up to my crush and despite arranging to go into lecture together with her, I walked in and the two of them were already sitting together, laughing away, didn't even save a seat for me, so I had to sit 3 rows behind. I felt embarrassingly jealous and frustrated. In fact, I get jealous even when my friends are talking with each other and leaving me out. It's very unfounded, and it's very petty, but I don't know how to change my mindset. Of course I don't own my crush, and I could have made a move sooner, but it's already very obvious that he feels something for my friend. There are some people I know who could just laugh this off. I want to be like that.

It's so easy to say "just take deep breaths, remind yourself that you're just overreacting " but that does not help. Consoling myself in my head does not change the chemical rush of "unhappy hormone." This is why I want to take some kind of drug, but I am scared of the crashes. It's easy for people to spew out phrases like "love yourself," but simply telling yourself in the mirror "yeah, I love you" does absolutely nothing.

Please help me.
reply
tashkent46
Badges: 15
Rep:
?
#2
Report 1 week ago
#2
First off I apologise on behalf of the whole human race, and at the very least this website, for being a sack of ****. I don't quite understand why threads like yours where you are clearly struggling are ignored but untold nonsense is spammed with never ending replies.

I don't have anything to say apart from I suffer from exactly the same thing and wanted to acknowledge that I had listened.
1
reply
Anonymous #1
#3
Report Thread starter 1 week ago
#3
(Original post by tashkent46)
First off I apologise on behalf of the whole human race, and at the very least this website, for being a sack of ****. I don't quite understand why threads like yours where you are clearly struggling are ignored but untold nonsense is spammed with never ending replies.

I don't have anything to say apart from I suffer from exactly the same thing and wanted to acknowledge that I had listened.
Thank you so much, I don't know why but it's a small comfort to know that somebody has actually bothered to read about my troubles. I feel that if there is over one paragraph, nobody can be asked to read it...
reply
tashkent46
Badges: 15
Rep:
?
#4
Report 1 week ago
#4
(Original post by Anonymous)
Thank you so much, I don't know why but it's a small comfort to know that somebody has actually bothered to read about my troubles. I feel that if there is over one paragraph, nobody can be asked to read it...
I really want to help you but I don't know a solution. Yes people are probably too lazy, so sad.
0
reply
Anonymous #1
#5
Report Thread starter 1 week ago
#5
(Original post by tashkent46)
I really want to help you but I don't know a solution. Yes people are probably too lazy, so sad.
No worries, you said you were going through the same thing, I hope we can both find a way around this....
reply
Sammylou40
Badges: 19
Rep:
?
#6
Report 1 week ago
#6
You’ve acknowledged what your problems are so you can only work on resolving that.
I think it’s narrow minded to assume that people who have therapy are dense. That indicates what sort of ego you have.
You haven’t been able to sort it yourself so avail yourself of professional help
1
reply
Anonymous #1
#7
Report Thread starter 1 week ago
#7
(Original post by Sammylou40)
You’ve acknowledged what your problems are so you can only work on resolving that.
I think it’s narrow minded to assume that people who have therapy are dense. That indicates what sort of ego you have.
You haven’t been able to sort it yourself so avail yourself of professional help
I don't mean to sound rude at all, but that's another vague statement that doesn't really help me. The hardest part IS that I acknowledge my issues, I just have no idea how to fix them.

Again, I didn't mean my comment about therapy in a rude way. I don't assume that people who have therapy are dense, maybe because I'm so sensitive, I just cannot physically understand how a person can be helped, knowing that they are talking to a person who is just doing their job, who (unless they have known each other for a while), can have no real emotional connection, who is getting paid upward of £40 in a lot of cases to be sat there - is just beyond me. If you are helped by therapy, I am happy for you. About my ego... I really have none lol, that was crushed years ago.
reply
tashkent46
Badges: 15
Rep:
?
#8
Report 1 week ago
#8
(Original post by Anonymous)
No worries, you said you were going through the same thing, I hope we can both find a way around this....
It feels chemical to me: I know exactly what my problems are and how to fix them, I simply cannot be talked out of an emotion I am feeling I think. Talking does not really work at the minute for me.
0
reply
Sammylou40
Badges: 19
Rep:
?
#9
Report 1 week ago
#9
It’s not vague really. You have issues, you can’t solve them yourself. You need professional help
You’re not really going to get anything else from anyone
There’s two options. Do nothing or seek help
There’s not much else people can say
(Original post by Anonymous)
I don't mean to sound rude at all, but that's another vague statement that doesn't really help me. The hardest part IS that I acknowledge my issues, I just have no idea how to fix them.

Again, I didn't mean my comment about therapy in a rude way. I don't assume that people who have therapy are dense, maybe because I'm so sensitive, I just cannot physically understand how a person can be helped, knowing that they are talking to a person who is just doing their job, who (unless they have known each other for a while), can have no real emotional connection, who is getting paid upward of £40 in a lot of cases to be sat there - is just beyond me. If you are helped by therapy, I am happy for you. About my ego... I really have none lol, that was crushed years ago.
0
reply
Anonymous #1
#10
Report Thread starter 1 week ago
#10
(Original post by Sammylou40)
It’s not vague really. You have issues, you can’t solve them yourself. You need professional help
You’re not really going to get anything else from anyone
There’s two options. Do nothing or seek help
There’s not much else people can say
Is therapy really the endgame? As I have already said, I was at therapy for 5 months, and it did nothing. I was at counselling during secondary school for a while as well and that again, did nothing. I tried my best every time.

Even if you aren't able to give me some advice, I have no problem with waiting on others haha! I hope somebody can give me a few words.
reply
Anonymous #1
#11
Report Thread starter 1 week ago
#11
(Original post by tashkent46)
It feels chemical to me: I know exactly what my problems are and how to fix them, I simply cannot be talked out of an emotion I am feeling I think. Talking does not really work at the minute for me.
precisely this! I think this is a big part of the reason why therapy never worked for me.
reply
Sammylou40
Badges: 19
Rep:
?
#12
Report 1 week ago
#12
I’m really not sure what help anyone here can give you to be honest.
I’ve never needed therapy but I do believe it’s helpful.
If you’re just looking for simple tips to try and improve your positivity then can I suggest that every morning when you get up you look for one thing that is good about the day. It can be as simple as the weather.
Look in the mirror and tell yourself something that you like about yourself. Even if it’s simple like your hair looks good. It will be difficult to start with as you’re not used to it. Over time do it with everything throughout the day. Wherever you are and whatever situation you’re in, find one positive thing to say. Eventually it will be second nature but I expect it will be hard for a while. Nothing to lose by trying

Is this the sort of thing you were looking for?
(Original post by Anonymous)
Is therapy really the endgame? As I have already said, I was at therapy for 5 months, and it did nothing. I was at counselling during secondary school for a while as well and that again, did nothing. I tried my best every time.

Even if you aren't able to give me some advice, I have no problem with waiting on others haha! I hope somebody can give me a few words.
0
reply
tashkent46
Badges: 15
Rep:
?
#13
Report 1 week ago
#13
(Original post by Anonymous)
precisely this! I think this is a big part of the reason why therapy never worked for me.
Have you tried medication? I was using medication for a while and it helped but it reduced my cognition greatly (memory, concentration). I'm considering other medication but I think this may just be something we are cursed with, our burden to keep unfortunately.
0
reply
Anonymous #2
#14
Report 1 week ago
#14
Hi! I've been through a really similar thing. What I found really helped was antidepressants; and I know a lot of people are against them, but they truly do help lift your mood, especially if you feel your issue is chemical. I can understand your frustration as you feel therapy hasn't solved things - this may be because it's not the right therapy for you. I assume you were given cognitive behavioural therapy (CBT) which attempts to 'change' your thoughts to more positive ones, which can be incredibly helpful for some people (like my mother) but did not work for me. This is a really common case and it may be that other kinds of therapy work for you.

However, what might be a bigger issue is that you might not be responding well to therapy because you're not in the right mindset for it. If your low mood and negative feelings are particularly intense, it will inhibit your ability to engage with what the person is saying, which will reduce the effectiveness of the help you are receiving. I found that when I was depressed but not on medication, I found it really hard to take in what they were saying and do self-help, as I was too mentally drained. But when I began taking medications, my mood was lifted to a point where I wasn't too tired to do the things they were asking, over and over again. It takes a lot of practise, and when you're really unwell you can't really do it. That's why therapy AND medications are considered the most effective treatment option!

I would see what your doctor says ultimately, as they are the experts and can give you the best advice about the next steps. For some people medications really help so it might be worth considering! If nothing else, know it will be okay and trust me, people do want to help you <3 good luck!
reply
Anonymous #1
#15
Report Thread starter 1 week ago
#15
(Original post by Sammylou40)
I’m really not sure what help anyone here can give you to be honest.
I’ve never needed therapy but I do believe it’s helpful.
If you’re just looking for simple tips to try and improve your positivity then can I suggest that every morning when you get up you look for one thing that is good about the day. It can be as simple as the weather.
Look in the mirror and tell yourself something that you like about yourself. Even if it’s simple like your hair looks good. It will be difficult to start with as you’re not used to it. Over time do it with everything throughout the day. Wherever you are and whatever situation you’re in, find one positive thing to say. Eventually it will be second nature but I expect it will be hard for a while. Nothing to lose by trying

Is this the sort of thing you were looking for?
Thank you for the advice. Not sure what people on here can give me either, but also not sure what a therapist could either lol! I will wait.
I'm not helped by simply talking to myself (or others).. but I suppose as you said, nothing to lose by trying...
reply
Anonymous #2
#16
Report 1 week ago
#16
Just to add - they don't fix everything and aren't a cure, but if you're really struggling to feel better in therapy, they can be a start!
(Original post by Anonymous)
Hi! I've been through a really similar thing. What I found really helped was antidepressants; and I know a lot of people are against them, but they truly do help lift your mood, especially if you feel your issue is chemical. I can understand your frustration as you feel therapy hasn't solved things - this may be because it's not the right therapy for you. I assume you were given cognitive behavioural therapy (CBT) which attempts to 'change' your thoughts to more positive ones, which can be incredibly helpful for some people (like my mother) but did not work for me. This is a really common case and it may be that other kinds of therapy work for you.

However, what might be a bigger issue is that you might not be responding well to therapy because you're not in the right mindset for it. If your low mood and negative feelings are particularly intense, it will inhibit your ability to engage with what the person is saying, which will reduce the effectiveness of the help you are receiving. I found that when I was depressed but not on medication, I found it really hard to take in what they were saying and do self-help, as I was too mentally drained. But when I began taking medications, my mood was lifted to a point where I wasn't too tired to do the things they were asking, over and over again. It takes a lot of practise, and when you're really unwell you can't really do it. That's why therapy AND medications are considered the most effective treatment option!

I would see what your doctor says ultimately, as they are the experts and can give you the best advice about the next steps. For some people medications really help so it might be worth considering! If nothing else, know it will be okay and trust me, people do want to help you <3 good luck!
reply
Sammylou40
Badges: 19
Rep:
?
#17
Report 1 week ago
#17
No you haven’t. And if you do try then that is a positive step in itself and is the first step.
Your gp may give you medication but it’s usually offered in conjunction with some kind of therapy. Have you researched cbt? Don’t dismiss anything until you’ve tried. There will be a method that works for you, it’s just a matter of finding it
(Original post by Anonymous)
Thank you for the advice. Not sure what people on here can give me either, but also not sure what a therapist could either lol! I will wait.
I'm not helped by simply talking to myself (or others).. but I suppose as you said, nothing to lose by trying...
0
reply
Anonymous #1
#18
Report Thread starter 1 week ago
#18
(Original post by tashkent46)
Have you tried medication? I was using medication for a while and it helped but it reduced my cognition greatly (memory, concentration). I'm considering other medication but I think this may just be something we are cursed with, our burden to keep unfortunately.
Yes, i agree. In the least vain way possible (because it's not a good thing), I think some people are just born really... hyper-sensitive? If I could tune down everything around me and my thoughts, that would be perfect.

Do you mind me asking what kind of medication you took?
reply
tashkent46
Badges: 15
Rep:
?
#19
Report 1 week ago
#19
(Original post by Anonymous)
Yes, i agree. In the least vain way possible (because it's not a good thing), I think some people are just born really... hyper-sensitive? If I could tune down everything around me and my thoughts, that would be perfect.

Do you mind me asking what kind of medication you took?
I took Sertraline and it helped my mood significantly, but after a while I had to come off it as it was having bad effects on my memory and concentration and my mood had picked up to a point I was happy with. I'm at a low again now but not on any rush to go back to it, i'd consider trying other medication though.
0
reply
Anonymous #1
#20
Report Thread starter 1 week ago
#20
(Original post by Anonymous)
Hi! I've been through a really similar thing. What I found really helped was antidepressants; and I know a lot of people are against them, but they truly do help lift your mood, especially if you feel your issue is chemical. I can understand your frustration as you feel therapy hasn't solved things - this may be because it's not the right therapy for you. I assume you were given cognitive behavioural therapy (CBT) which attempts to 'change' your thoughts to more positive ones, which can be incredibly helpful for some people (like my mother) but did not work for me. This is a really common case and it may be that other kinds of therapy work for you.

However, what might be a bigger issue is that you might not be responding well to therapy because you're not in the right mindset for it. If your low mood and negative feelings are particularly intense, it will inhibit your ability to engage with what the person is saying, which will reduce the effectiveness of the help you are receiving. I found that when I was depressed but not on medication, I found it really hard to take in what they were saying and do self-help, as I was too mentally drained. But when I began taking medications, my mood was lifted to a point where I wasn't too tired to do the things they were asking, over and over again. It takes a lot of practise, and when you're really unwell you can't really do it. That's why therapy AND medications are considered the most effective treatment option!

I would see what your doctor says ultimately, as they are the experts and can give you the best advice about the next steps. For some people medications really help so it might be worth considering! If nothing else, know it will be okay and trust me, people do want to help you <3 good luck!
Thank you very much for all of this advice! I'm glad that you are feeling better. I definitely considered taking medication but I've always been really afraid of hitting a low. I'm not anymore, but back in the day I would have really bad thoughts and it wouldn't be hard to imagine that if one day, I forgot to take my medication and hit a low, I would probably just off myself. Do you ever experience crashes? I wouldn't really want to become dependent on drugs to maintain my mood either. I've heard that the longer you take a medication, the less of an effect it tends to have, so I'd basically have to be increasing my dosage/changing medication all the way up until I'm 80... I don't know if this is true?

To be honest, I wouldn't say that depression was my main issue, I'd say that my over-sensitivity was. I get so hurt by the smallest things and that damages my mood. If my friends walk in front of me and I'm pushed to the back, that will dampen my mood for the entire day. Sounds ridiculous and it is. I think that it is THIS that's causing the depression, or at least a lot of it. I can sort of confirm this because if I've had a straight good day with my friends, I will feel so elated, like I'm having a literal dopamine rush!

For sure, I was often too tired to really tune into my therapist, but I don't think that therapy will ever be the way for me...

Also, how did you get your medication? I hear that it's very difficult to be prescribed antidepressants...
reply
X

Quick Reply

Attached files
Write a reply...
Reply
new posts
Latest
My Feed

See more of what you like on
The Student Room

You can personalise what you see on TSR. Tell us a little about yourself to get started.

Personalise

How old were you when you first saw porn?

I've never seen it (221)
22.97%
Before I was 12 (346)
35.97%
13 (153)
15.9%
14 (111)
11.54%
15 (56)
5.82%
16 (36)
3.74%
17 (11)
1.14%
18 (8)
0.83%
Between the ages of 19 - 25 (15)
1.56%
Over 25 (5)
0.52%

Watched Threads

View All