I want to sleep with my recruiter Watch

Anonymous #1
#1
Report Thread starter 1 week ago
#1
Apologies if this sounds a little weird (and I didn't really expect to be in this situation).

I'm male, early to mid 20s. I've been out of work for a few months now looking to change careers. I had a telephone interview with an older woman who was a recruiter which went really well, and after I passed, she suggested we stay in contact via WhatsApp. When giving me feedback, she said I came across very well, confident and smart, but she used the word 'cute' which I assumed was a joke (or at least not what I thought it meant).

Shortly afterwards I was invited to an assessment centre where I got the chance to meet her and the other candidates, including some current graduates and the department head. She looked like a more mature lady, maybe mid 40s, but physically very attractive. She had interviewed all the candidates herself, so she already knew everyone there a little, but I introduced myself to her after she did the introductory talk (i.e. what the company does, what we'll be doing today, etc.), and she seemed a little nervous but we had a quick talk about how I was feeling, if she could give me any more information about the company, that sort of thing. I didn't get to see her for the rest of the day until the end of the assessment centre but it was a short, pleasant meeting.

Afterwards, she sent me a message on WhatsApp asking me how it went, and how it was lovely to meet me. I said it went well, and I thought it would end there -- but then she said that she thought it was quite cute how confident I was and she asked me if I'd be interested in meeting her for a coffee just to discuss my career plans. (At this point I knew something was definitely up, because although I have met with a recruiter for a coffee to discuss that sort of thing, never has a recruiter been flirty in this way.)

So last week I met her for a coffee during her lunchbreak (I didn't get anything, just had water), and at first we did have a discussion about career opportunities and things of that nature, but we quickly started talking about other things. She revealed to me she had children who were going to university, but that she was divorced and was single for the time being. I told her I was also single and seeking a partner, and she said she was surprised because she thought I was cute, young and fit. I could tell she was flirting, so I told her I thought she was pretty hot too and we had a moment where we just sort of stared at each other, smiling. She mentioned that she's usually at home alone now that her children live at uni (though they come back home sometimes).

She had to get back to work, so we left quite abruptly, but I did kiss her on both cheeks before she left. About half an hour later she sent me a message on WhatsApp asking if I got back home OK.

Since then we've been pretty much talking every evening about random things, not necessarily flirting, but one time she said she saw on my CV that I have an athletic lifestyle (I run and go to the gym a lot), so she said that I probably have a great body and that she'd be lucky to see it sometime (or words to that effect). She asked me if I've ever been with an older woman, and I said no, but I've always wanted to try. So this week she asked me if I'd be interested in coming to her place for a chat/dinner, which I agreed to, but I'm getting a bit worried about where this is going. (I'm only a few years older than her kids, and she's at least 20 years older than me, so it feels weird in any case.)

I really want to meet her again because I think there's a good chance we could have sex, and she is very attractive too. I'm going to bring condoms just in case, but I'm a bit concerned if this could affect my career in some way if anyone found out. I haven't told her company about any of her behaviour (because I like the attention), and wouldn't tell anyone about this, but I also haven't received an offer from the company I originally applied to yet. If I did get an offer (or was rejected), she would be the one to let me know the outcome. Should I go through with it? Or should I be professional and turn down the meeting? (If this were some kind of test I don't think it would have gone this far, but I'm just not sure what to do.)
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DrawTheLine
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#2
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#2
(Original post by Anonymous)
Apologies if this sounds a little weird (and I didn't really expect to be in this situation).

I'm male, early to mid 20s. I've been out of work for a few months now looking to change careers. I had a telephone interview with an older woman who was a recruiter which went really well, and after I passed, she suggested we stay in contact via WhatsApp. When giving me feedback, she said I came across very well, confident and smart, but she used the word 'cute' which I assumed was a joke (or at least not what I thought it meant).

Shortly afterwards I was invited to an assessment centre where I got the chance to meet her and the other candidates, including some current graduates and the department head. She looked like a more mature lady, maybe mid 40s, but physically very attractive. She had interviewed all the candidates herself, so she already knew everyone there a little, but I introduced myself to her after she did the introductory talk (i.e. what the company does, what we'll be doing today, etc.), and she seemed a little nervous but we had a quick talk about how I was feeling, if she could give me any more information about the company, that sort of thing. I didn't get to see her for the rest of the day until the end of the assessment centre but it was a short, pleasant meeting.

Afterwards, she sent me a message on WhatsApp asking me how it went, and how it was lovely to meet me. I said it went well, and I thought it would end there -- but then she said that she thought it was quite cute how confident I was and she asked me if I'd be interested in meeting her for a coffee just to discuss my career plans. (At this point I knew something was definitely up, because although I have met with a recruiter for a coffee to discuss that sort of thing, never has a recruiter been flirty in this way.)

So last week I met her for a coffee during her lunchbreak (I didn't get anything, just had water), and at first we did have a discussion about career opportunities and things of that nature, but we quickly started talking about other things. She revealed to me she had children who were going to university, but that she was divorced and was single for the time being. I told her I was also single and seeking a partner, and she said she was surprised because she thought I was cute, young and fit. I could tell she was flirting, so I told her I thought she was pretty hot too and we had a moment where we just sort of stared at each other, smiling. She mentioned that she's usually at home alone now that her children live at uni (though they come back home sometimes).

She had to get back to work, so we left quite abruptly, but I did kiss her on both cheeks before she left. About half an hour later she sent me a message on WhatsApp asking if I got back home OK.

Since then we've been pretty much talking every evening about random things, not necessarily flirting, but one time she said she saw on my CV that I have an athletic lifestyle (I run and go to the gym a lot), so she said that I probably have a great body and that she'd be lucky to see it sometime (or words to that effect). She asked me if I've ever been with an older woman, and I said no, but I've always wanted to try. So this week she asked me if I'd be interested in coming to her place for a chat/dinner, which I agreed to, but I'm getting a bit worried about where this is going. (I'm only a few years older than her kids, and she's at least 20 years older than me, so it feels weird in any case.)

I really want to meet her again because I think there's a good chance we could have sex, and she is very attractive too. I'm going to bring condoms just in case, but I'm a bit concerned if this could affect my career in some way if anyone found out. I haven't told her company about any of her behaviour (because I like the attention), and wouldn't tell anyone about this, but I also haven't received an offer from the company I originally applied to yet. If I did get an offer (or was rejected), she would be the one to let me know the outcome. Should I go through with it? Or should I be professional and turn down the meeting? (If this were some kind of test I don't think it would have gone this far, but I'm just not sure what to do.)
What the two of you choose to do in your own time is unrelated to your career. As long as she isn't the one who is making the decision to hire you or not, I see no issue with you pursuing a relationship with her.
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karl pilkington
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You want her to give you a job hehe
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kurro
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#4
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If you like her, go for it.

It won't affect your career in any way.
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Anonymous #1
#5
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#5
(Original post by DrawTheLine)
What the two of you choose to do in your own time is unrelated to your career. As long as she isn't the one who is making the decision to hire you or not, I see no issue with you pursuing a relationship with her.
She isn't involved in the final decision, but she was involved in me getting to the assessment centre (the notes she wrote for my answers to the telephone interview were used as a basis for me getting a place). If it transpires that there was a sexual relationship between us, couldn't that result in me losing my job down the line, if I got an offer?
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londonmyst
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(Original post by Anonymous)
She isn't involved in the final decision, but she was involved in me getting to the assessment centre (the notes she wrote for my answers to the telephone interview were used as a basis for me getting a place). If it transpires that there was a sexual relationship between us, couldn't that result in me losing my job down the line, if I got an offer?
No.
You are not a relative or family member.
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Themysticalegg
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#7
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Why not, go for it!
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the bear
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#8
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get in there my son

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mgi
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#9
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(Original post by Anonymous)
Apologies if this sounds a little weird (and I didn't really expect to be in this situation).

I'm male, early to mid 20s. I've been out of work for a few months now looking to change careers. I had a telephone interview with an older woman who was a recruiter which went really well, and after I passed, she suggested we stay in contact via WhatsApp. When giving me feedback, she said I came across very well, confident and smart, but she used the word 'cute' which I assumed was a joke (or at least not what I thought it meant).

Shortly afterwards I was invited to an assessment centre where I got the chance to meet her and the other candidates, including some current graduates and the department head. She looked like a more mature lady, maybe mid 40s, but physically very attractive. She had interviewed all the candidates herself, so she already knew everyone there a little, but I introduced myself to her after she did the introductory talk (i.e. what the company does, what we'll be doing today, etc.), and she seemed a little nervous but we had a quick talk about how I was feeling, if she could give me any more information about the company, that sort of thing. I didn't get to see her for the rest of the day until the end of the assessment centre but it was a short, pleasant meeting.

Afterwards, she sent me a message on WhatsApp asking me how it went, and how it was lovely to meet me. I said it went well, and I thought it would end there -- but then she said that she thought it was quite cute how confident I was and she asked me if I'd be interested in meeting her for a coffee just to discuss my career plans. (At this point I knew something was definitely up, because although I have met with a recruiter for a coffee to discuss that sort of thing, never has a recruiter been flirty in this way.)

So last week I met her for a coffee during her lunchbreak (I didn't get anything, just had water), and at first we did have a discussion about career opportunities and things of that nature, but we quickly started talking about other things. She revealed to me she had children who were going to university, but that she was divorced and was single for the time being. I told her I was also single and seeking a partner, and she said she was surprised because she thought I was cute, young and fit. I could tell she was flirting, so I told her I thought she was pretty hot too and we had a moment where we just sort of stared at each other, smiling. She mentioned that she's usually at home alone now that her children live at uni (though they come back home sometimes).

She had to get back to work, so we left quite abruptly, but I did kiss her on both cheeks before she left. About half an hour later she sent me a message on WhatsApp asking if I got back home OK.

Since then we've been pretty much talking every evening about random things, not necessarily flirting, but one time she said she saw on my CV that I have an athletic lifestyle (I run and go to the gym a lot), so she said that I probably have a great body and that she'd be lucky to see it sometime (or words to that effect). She asked me if I've ever been with an older woman, and I said no, but I've always wanted to try. So this week she asked me if I'd be interested in coming to her place for a chat/dinner, which I agreed to, but I'm getting a bit worried about where this is going. (I'm only a few years older than her kids, and she's at least 20 years older than me, so it feels weird in any case.)

I really want to meet her again because I think there's a good chance we could have sex, and she is very attractive too. I'm going to bring condoms just in case, but I'm a bit concerned if this could affect my career in some way if anyone found out. I haven't told her company about any of her behaviour (because I like the attention), and wouldn't tell anyone about this, but I also haven't received an offer from the company I originally applied to yet. If I did get an offer (or was rejected), she would be the one to let me know the outcome. Should I go through with it? Or should I be professional and turn down the meeting? (If this were some kind of test I don't think it would have gone this far, but I'm just not sure what to do.)
Your relationship with her sounds ok but you have to be clear and realistic about what you want. Do you want a casual sexual relationship or something more long term? and what does she want? Talk with her naturally- if she wants sex thats fine. She has her needs and so do you. You are both grown adults. (There are other companies and jobs out there!)
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Anonymous #2
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(Original post by mgi)
Your relationship with her sounds ok but you have to be clear and realistic about what you want. Do you want a casual sexual relationship or something more long term? and what does she want? Talk with her naturally- if she wants sex thats fine. She has her needs and so do you. You are both grown adults. (There are other companies and jobs out there!)
he just wants to shag her, clearly
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by mgi)
Your relationship with her sounds ok but you have to be clear and realistic about what you want. Do you want a casual sexual relationship or something more long term? and what does she want? Talk with her naturally- if she wants sex thats fine. She has her needs and so do you. You are both grown adults. (There are other companies and jobs out there!)
I just want a sexual relationship with her, to be honest. She's in her mid 40s (possibly twice my age), so I can't see any sort of future with her (especially since I'd like kids at some point, but she's too old + she already has kids who are my age already). She's very physically attractive, flirty, and in great shape for a woman in her 40s.
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mgi
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#12
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Ok. then you have to check out whether she wants the same thing. If so then fine.
(Original post by Anonymous)
I just want a sexual relationship with her, to be honest. She's in her mid 40s (possibly twice my age), so I can't see any sort of future with her (especially since I'd like kids at some point, but she's too old + she already has kids who are my age already). She's very physically attractive, flirty, and in great shape for a woman in her 40s.
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kurro
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#13
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Have you done it yet?
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