Money issues... Watch

Anonymous #1
#1
Report Thread starter 1 week ago
#1
So my boyfriend (18) and I (17) have been dating for over a year and are happy together for the most part (he has been dishonest and caused problems between me and a mutual friend but that's all in the past). My problem is that he's always very reluctant to spend his money.

He splashes out on expensive video games (up to £50) and doesn't have an income except for £12 per week dog walking (we are students so that part isn't an issue). But whenever I ask him to contribute to petrol money (I drive and he doesn't, so often give him lifts)/food and snacks/things that we'll both get use out of, he's stingy and doesn't want to pay, or will pay a very small amount. He's also skipped out on Christmas presents in the past, or spend a lot less on me than I did on him for other special occasions (don't want to sound bratty/ungrateful about this, it just hurt for our first Christmas together, you know??)

I appreciate his situation and low income, but he hasn't got a real job and isn't trying to find one, so I have little sympathy when he complains about being broke, especially with the amount he spends. His spending doesn't bother me, but I don't like the way he doesn't budget or plan for when he'll be needing to spend money.

For example, I split the bill with him when he took me out for my birthday meal. I didn't mind too much at the time, but this sort of occurrence is becoming more common now, and it's at the point where we won't meet up because he doesn't want to pay me petrol money, even if I ask for a few pounds (it's a 30 mile drive to his and back for context).

Am I being too harsh/demanding? Or is this normal for couples..? I guess I just want to make sure I'm not in the wrong, and try to help our situation, because I love him a lot and don't want added tension on us, especially in A-Level season. Advice please!!

tl:dr
My bf is kinda stingy and I don't know what to do :/
Thanks in advance x
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999tigger
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Badges: 19
#2
Report 1 week ago
#2
(Original post by Anonymous)
So my boyfriend (18) and I (17) have been dating for over a year and are happy together for the most part (he has been dishonest and caused problems between me and a mutual friend but that's all in the past). My problem is that he's always very reluctant to spend his money.

He splashes out on expensive video games (up to £50) and doesn't have an income except for £12 per week dog walking (we are students so that part isn't an issue). But whenever I ask him to contribute to petrol money (I drive and he doesn't, so often give him lifts)/food and snacks/things that we'll both get use out of, he's stingy and doesn't want to pay, or will pay a very small amount. He's also skipped out on Christmas presents in the past, or spend a lot less on me than I did on him for other special occasions (don't want to sound bratty/ungrateful about this, it just hurt for our first Christmas together, you know??)

I appreciate his situation and low income, but he hasn't got a real job and isn't trying to find one, so I have little sympathy when he complains about being broke, especially with the amount he spends. His spending doesn't bother me, but I don't like the way he doesn't budget or plan for when he'll be needing to spend money.

For example, I split the bill with him when he took me out for my birthday meal. I didn't mind too much at the time, but this sort of occurrence is becoming more common now, and it's at the point where we won't meet up because he doesn't want to pay me petrol money, even if I ask for a few pounds (it's a 30 mile drive to his and back for context).

Am I being too harsh/demanding? Or is this normal for couples..? I guess I just want to make sure I'm not in the wrong, and try to help our situation, because I love him a lot and don't want added tension on us, especially in A-Level season. Advice please!!

tl:dr
My bf is kinda stingy and I don't know what to do :/
Thanks in advance x
He isnt going to change. You either accept hi as he is or just find someone who is a bit more equal. Its going to get on your nerves and financial reasons is one of the most common for relationships to split. I get where you are as it just feels unequal and hes being a parasite, notwithstanding his low income. He can talk to you about it but he doesnt.

Eventually you will get fed up and want out imo.

If its A levels then focus on your exam and talk to him after.
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Dunnig Kruger
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#3
Report 1 week ago
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There is no long term future for the 2 of you together. As you are incompatible when it comes to money, finances, spending and your attitudes to it.

It's entirely up to you how long you keep him as your boyfriend. When you go to Uni, that'll be a great time for you to move on.
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