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Paranoid my boyfriend likes someone else..

7/8 months ago we had met this new girl who works in my mums pub and when she had her interview he laughed with others and said "oh yeah im gonna come in when she starts" and when we had a party she wore a dress and she said " you look 10 out of 10" he knows im really self conscious and hate how i look.. he said he done it for a 'laugh' but ive been paranoid since whenever we are down the pub and i have eyes where he looks, he says she is dirty, skinny, ugly and a little rat. But, i just cant seem to shift this feeling of jealousy, second best and like im in some kind of competition with him.. its eating me up but i know that he is the one for me☹

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Talk with him about it
Reply 2
I have and he said its pathetic as its been 7 months i should be over it by now
Original post by Anonymous
Talk with him about it
Original post by Kiwi1214
I have and he said its pathetic as its been 7 months i should be over it by now

Wow okay, that's mean. You should be able to talk about these sorts of things with your partner. Perhaps you could get him to understand that you feel insecure by asking him about things that make him insecure?
Reply 4
Ive tried everything, literally saying what of her wnd that he looks at her a lot and he like no i havent but my mind shows me where his eyes are looking and i cant cope anymore its killing me but i refuse to lose him😓😭
Original post by Anonymous
Wow okay, that's mean. You should be able to talk about these sorts of things with your partner. Perhaps you could get him to understand that you feel insecure by asking him about things that make him insecure?
Reply 5
I just wanna feel good enough and as if I'm the only girl he likes when we arent in the pub he proves that he loves me but i feel so in comparison to her😓
Original post by Anonymous
Wow okay, that's mean. You should be able to talk about these sorts of things with your partner. Perhaps you could get him to understand that you feel insecure by asking him about things that make him insecure?
Original post by Kiwi1214
Ive tried everything, literally saying what of her wnd that he looks at her a lot and he like no i havent but my mind shows me where his eyes are looking and i cant cope anymore its killing me but i refuse to lose him😓😭

I would break down if I was in that situation. You poor thing :frown: I don't even know what to say. Maybe you could tell him that even though you feel insecure, not to feel insecure about telling the truth. He could talk about what he finds attractive about the other person. I know it will hurt to hear that, maybe you'll want to be sick. But it's always better to talk and to try to be understanding, in order to be able to mend the situation later. That's what me and my partner did. He probably finds her attractive because of socialisation and he just doesn't realise that yet. That's why he's probably scared to open up to you about it.
I feel like you are being insecure about something and in thinking that he likes her, small things that happen are blown out of proportion in your mind.
I think you do need to sort out your insecurities yourself and think of all the things your bf does to show he cares for you and not her
Original post by Kiwi1214
I just wanna feel good enough and as if I'm the only girl he likes when we arent in the pub he proves that he loves me but i feel so in comparison to her😓

I totally understand. I think you guys need to break through that wall that is keeping you apart, if it's true that he isn't opening up to you. You guys can work with this.
Perhaps he genuinely doesn't find her attractive, but keeps staring at parts of her because of socialisation. As in, becayse society keeps pushing ideas of what is supposedly sexy (is actually objectifying).
Reply 10
I wanna feel special
Original post by Kiwi1214
I wanna feel special

What's your relationship like day to day? Do you live together? Open up with each other about personal things?
Reply 12
No we dont live together and we are okay just nkt when im with both of them
Original post by Anonymous
What's your relationship like day to day? Do you live together? Open up with each other about personal things?
I have broken down and i feel like doing it again, its horrible no one understands! He says he doesn't find her attractive at all i hate it☹
Original post by Anonymous
I would break down if I was in that situation. You poor thing :frown: I don't even know what to say. Maybe you could tell him that even though you feel insecure, not to feel insecure about telling the truth. He could talk about what he finds attractive about the other person. I know it will hurt to hear that, maybe you'll want to be sick. But it's always better to talk and to try to be understanding, in order to be able to mend the situation later. That's what me and my partner did. He probably finds her attractive because of socialisation and he just doesn't realise that yet. That's why he's probably scared to open up to you about it.
Original post by Kiwi1214
No we dont live together and we are okay just nkt when im with both of them

Can you guys not go to your mum's pub?
Original post by Anonymous
I have broken down and i feel like doing it again, its horrible no one understands! He says he doesn't find her attractive at all i hate it☹

What do you love about him?
I live there i always say to him "i wish i lived a normal life"
Original post by Anonymous
Can you guys not go to your mum's pub?
Everything such as how we get on, what we are like, what we do everything him in general his gorgeous and amazing im so deeply in love with him
Original post by Anonymous
What do you love about him?
A guy looks at a girl, shocking.
Original post by Anonymous
I live there i always say to him "i wish i lived a normal life"

Original post by Anonymous
Everything such as how we get on, what we are like, what we do everything him in general his gorgeous and amazing im so deeply in love with him

Is there anyone you can talk to about this? Perhaps a trustworthy friend or counsellor?

Perhaps you feel afraid of leaving him because you would feel scared/ vulnerable/ insecure if you were to be alone, like you couldn't do it on your own. So you feel desperately dependent on this - even though surely you can tell that he isn't treating you right?

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