Is it ever okay to be blunt with a friend?

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Anonymous #1
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If someone who speaks to you says 'to be blunt,...', could you ever class them as your friend?
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tashkent46
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A friend will tell you what's bothering them, a 'friend' will just ignore you and let it build up.
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gjd800
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Yes. I prefer straight shooters and I am one myself.
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Notoriety
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Always.
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Sammylou40
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Yes
It depends on the situation. A friend will tell you what you need to hear. And not what you want to hear
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sinfonietta
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Being blunt is a sign of a true friend.

A nice friend says you look good in that dress to make you feel good about yourself. A true friend tells you it makes your ass look fat to save you embarrassment later.
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Anonymous #1
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Is being blunt also being very direct with advice and straight to the point? I am just thinking about someone else who gave me advice when I felt a little isolated at uni - it sounded first as if they were shouting at me - it was so direct - but in hindsight, whilst it didn't feel that way at the time - when I was feeling down - everything they said was exactly what I have learnt was the 'right' way to make friends at uni.
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Sammylou40
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That’s exactly what being blunt is. Sometimes it can appear harsh but it doesn’t have to be. It should be concise, direct and in your best interests. If you’re thinking of speaking to someone this way it can be done gently and kindly
(Original post by Anonymous)
Is being blunt also being very direct with advice and straight to the point? I am just thinking about someone else who gave me advice when I felt a little isolated at uni - it sounded first as if they were shouting at me - it was so direct - but in hindsight, whilst it didn't feel that way at the time - when I was feeling down - everything they said was exactly what I have learnt was the 'right' way to make friends at uni.
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999tigger
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Yes its fine. I much prefer people to be straight talkers.

It helps sometimes if you can be a bit sensitive, but a true friend you can trust.

Sometimes they can be a bit brutal and that may not be helpful, so they need to tailor their advice and bear in mind who they are talking to.

The importance is the quality of advice is good and well intentioned.

Some friends give poor advice.
Some friends enjoy being brutal , so their motivation isnt good and they arent real friends.
Some friends arent friends at all and five poor advice in a destructive way.
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Anonymous #1
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Thanks everyone - good to know.
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Anonymous #1
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One more question - is it sometimes better to be blunt with a friend who is upset about something when they are asking for advice?
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Sammylou40
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If they’re asking for advice then be honest. But be kind. Tell the truth without being hurtful. There’s a wsy
(Original post by Anonymous)
One more question - is it sometimes better to be blunt with a friend who is upset about something when they are asking for advice?
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blacksheep8
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To me it's better to be honest with someone but attempt to remain sensitive rather than just be blunt. Sometimes you will be arguing though and it's difficult to stay sensitive, haha :catfight:
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blacksheep8
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(Original post by Anonymous)
One more question - is it sometimes better to be blunt with a friend who is upset about something when they are asking for advice?
Sensitivity is needed in this situation on the person departing honest advice. Practice is probably needed for most people to pull this off though, esp. if they had parents that taught them to tough it out and just deal with it :ashamed2:
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Anonymous #1
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Is something like (below) something that could be said to a friend who is struggling to make new friends at uni - or is it too 'blunt' to say to someone you consider a friend?

in all honesty, I thought you'd struggle socially at uni, just because you weren't practiced. But it's not hard to change... (before giving advice)
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blacksheep8
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(Original post by Anonymous)
Is something like (below) something that could be said to a friend who is struggling to make new friends at uni - or is it too 'blunt' to say to someone you consider a friend?

in all honesty, I thought you'd struggle socially at uni, just because you weren't practiced. But it's not hard to change... (before giving advice)
Perhaps more context would help get you the advice you need
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by blacksheep8)
Perhaps more context would help get you the advice you need
I can't really say too much about the context on here, but is what I said above something that would be okay so a person considered as a friend/someone you care about? It is very honest - but is to too blunt?
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Anonymous #1
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??
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Anonymous #1
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Is what I said above something that would be okay so a person considered as a friend/someone you care about? It is very honest - but is to too blunt?
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999tigger
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(Original post by Anonymous)
Is what I said above something that would be okay so a person considered as a friend/someone you care about? It is very honest - but is to too blunt?
Not really enough. Yes its ok in some situations but you have to factor in how blunt, the situation, what the advice was and the other person.
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