Broke up with my bf before uni and now hes with someone else

so before uni last year me and my bf agreed to break up as we felt there was no point being together when we were 90 minutes away it was more my idea than his, I suggested we broke up last summer but we carried on together until we both left for uni in september however recently I have realised I have made a big mistake as I know I still love him and he was good to me, the thing was I did sleep around in the first term and the guys I slept with were fun but I realised now something is missing, I messeged my ex recently asking if we could meet up he said yeah but I needed to realise that he has a new girl now I was heartbroken, even worse it was one of my enemies from school hes going out with, now I am having second thoughts with meeting him this easter, is there any possibility if I ask him that he would leave her and come back to me?

Don't try to break up a couple. That's an extremely selfish thing to do.

Keep your distance. Meeting up with him will make it harder to get over him.

Reply 2

stoyfan

20

Original post by Sally N

so before uni last year me and my bf agreed to break up as we felt there was no point being together when we were 90 minutes away it was more my idea than his, I suggested we broke up last summer but we carried on together until we both left for uni in september however recently I have realised I have made a big mistake as I know I still love him and he was good to me, the thing was I did sleep around in the first term and the guys I slept with were fun but I realised now something is missing, I messeged my ex recently asking if we could meet up he said yeah but I needed to realise that he has a new girl now I was heartbroken, even worse it was one of my enemies from school hes going out with, now I am having second thoughts with meeting him this easter, is there any possibility if I ask him that he would leave her and come back to me?

It is quite clear that he moved on, so you should do the same.

Reply 3

bluewhale87

12

if it was your idea, you can’t expect him to wait around for you - he would think you want him to move on. by all means, you can tell him but you can’t expect anything or ask him to reconsider. from what it sounds like, he doesn’t want to get back with you so whatever you do don’t force it. you’ll find someone better, i promise EVEN IF it seems like he’s the one, he’s not and if he is he’ll find his way back to you.

Reply 4

MWills99

16

Original post by Sally N

so before uni last year me and my bf agreed to break up as we felt there was no point being together when we were 90 minutes away it was more my idea than his, I suggested we broke up last summer but we carried on together until we both left for uni in september however recently I have realised I have made a big mistake as I know I still love him and he was good to me, the thing was I did sleep around in the first term and the guys I slept with were fun but I realised now something is missing, I messeged my ex recently asking if we could meet up he said yeah but I needed to realise that he has a new girl now I was heartbroken, even worse it was one of my enemies from school hes going out with, now I am having second thoughts with meeting him this easter, is there any possibility if I ask him that he would leave her and come back to me?

So, now that you've had your fun, you're ready to switch back to somebody that actually cared about you. The fact that you're willing to break up a couple for your own selfishness is terrible. I really hope he doesn't take you back

Reply 5

cheesecakelove

20

Original post by Sally N

so before uni last year me and my bf agreed to break up as we felt there was no point being together when we were 90 minutes away it was more my idea than his, I suggested we broke up last summer but we carried on together until we both left for uni in september however recently I have realised I have made a big mistake as I know I still love him and he was good to me, the thing was I did sleep around in the first term and the guys I slept with were fun but I realised now something is missing, I messeged my ex recently asking if we could meet up he said yeah but I needed to realise that he has a new girl now I was heartbroken, even worse it was one of my enemies from school hes going out with, now I am having second thoughts with meeting him this easter, is there any possibility if I ask him that he would leave her and come back to me?

Why are you meeting him in Easter if you have broken up?

It was your decision to break up and now he has found someone new - it doesn't matter if they were your enemy at school. Your boyfriend has moved on and so should you.

Reply 6

won.of.a.kind

14

I mean clearly you have not got over him and I can sympathise with that; however, if he is in a new relationship maybe take a step back - don't ruin it fr them. Oh hun it sucks that he is dating ur enemy too i'm truly sorry.
Anyway the key part here which everyone seems to miss is that he said yeah to meeting up like why? Maybe he wants to be friends or something maybe get some closure?

Also it sounds like you guys don't live too far away from each other so considering you broke up because of that sounds like there might have been something wrong with the relationship in the first place? (I dunno just making guesses here).
Also it was the right thing to do - to call off the relationship if he was encouraging the fact that you should split you should never have these half-in / half-out relationships. Clearly in doing this you have given yourself space to think and realised that you missed him, unfortunately as it happens he is not single.

The next step forward would be to just try move-on, find someone better to date than a dude who would date his ex's enemy (bit strange tbh anywayyyy).
Hope this helps :smile:

Original post by Sally N

so before uni last year me and my bf agreed to break up as we felt there was no point being together when we were 90 minutes away it was more my idea than his, I suggested we broke up last summer but we carried on together until we both left for uni in september however recently I have realised I have made a big mistake as I know I still love him and he was good to me, the thing was I did sleep around in the first term and the guys I slept with were fun but I realised now something is missing, I messeged my ex recently asking if we could meet up he said yeah but I needed to realise that he has a new girl now I was heartbroken, even worse it was one of my enemies from school hes going out with, now I am having second thoughts with meeting him this easter, is there any possibility if I ask him that he would leave her and come back to me?

Reply 7

xoxAngel_Kxox

21

I am sorry that you're hurting, but to be honest, girls like you really do my head in. For a start, you really can't have been that in love with the guy if you weren't willing to try a relationship with a 90 minute gap. You could see each other every weekend, call and text every day, and unis have long holidays anyway. Many people make things like that work.

You also say it was more your idea, meaning he would likely have been more upset by it than you, so he'll have needed to try and get over it while just starting at uni, when he should have been having a really good time.

Then, he finally gets over it, and finds someone else, and now you want to mess with his head and break them up? That's absolutely not fair on him, and it's also not fair on the other girl. Enemies or not, we just don't do that to other girls, it's really poor behaviour to be honest.

This is what happened with my boyfriend's ex when we got together. She said she didn't want them to be together, then lo and behold a few months later when he's with me and suddenly she wants him back, and starts calling and texting all the time. It really messed with his head - and mine - and rocked us badly for quite a while. We're okay now, they haven't even spoken for over a year because he stopped replying to her, but please don't hurt someone in this way.

You chose to break up with him, and no matter how much you regret that decision now, you made it, and have to live with it.

Reply 8

username47781

20

The song and so Sally can wait she knows it's too late applies to you I'm afraid

Reply 9

Superdrilles

18

I think it may just be that she was expecting the random dicks to result in relationships and it didnt work out so she regrets everything shes done now.

Reply 10

It's****ingWOODY

20

Original post by Superdrilles

I think it may just be that she was expecting the random dicks to result in relationships and it didnt work out so she regrets everything shes done now.

The first part would of course be fine and she'd be well within her rights, but to then try and get back with her BF after playing around with others... you'd have to be a total mug to consider getting back with her.

Reply 11

won.of.a.kind

14

people are neglecting the fact that it was a mutual split read the message !!

Reply 12

bones-mccoy

19

Original post by won.of.a.kind

people are neglecting the fact that it was a mutual split read the message !!

Perhaps but that still means both of them are free to pursue whoever they want afterwards. Doesn't really change anything. Either way, you can't dump someone and then expect them to be waiting for you when you've finally decided you want the relationship back - even worse when the person has moved on and is with someone new. You have to live with the consequences of your actions.

OP, stop being so selfish and let the guy move on with his life.

(edited 5 years ago)

Reply 13

Tootles

21

Original post by Sally N

so before uni last year me and my bf agreed to break up as we felt there was no point being together when we were 90 minutes away it was more my idea than his, I suggested we broke up last summer but we carried on together until we both left for uni in september however recently I have realised I have made a big mistake as I know I still love him and he was good to me, the thing was I did sleep around in the first term and the guys I slept with were fun but I realised now something is missing, I messeged my ex recently asking if we could meet up he said yeah but I needed to realise that he has a new girl now I was heartbroken, even worse it was one of my enemies from school hes going out with, now I am having second thoughts with meeting him this easter, is there any possibility if I ask him that he would leave her and come back to me?